u/probablysleepingggg

My boyfriend and I (both 23) have had a relationship since the last of 2023. We were in our first year of college back then. In 2025, we had our admission and in january he got into (X) university. There he became friends with a girl. He did not tell me about this friendship. I found out about it on my own. Since then I've always had a negative gut feeling about her. Then in march they both got into DU so naturally they transferred here, but in different departments. In August of that year, another friend of mine from his uni told me that my boyfriend and that girl hang out a lot. I communicated with my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with this friendship. He cut her off, from socials and real life. During this cut off period that girl shared a post of my boyfriend from her account. The girl knew that we had issues in our relationship because of her. Cut to october she asked my boyfriend if I could 'allow' them to have their friendship. I said in socials they could be added (i was dumb ik). I specifically told my boyfriend to not talk to her or be with her alone. April 2026, one of my friends sent me a video. My boyfriend was with this girl in a cafe. He was rubbing her hands, patting her cheeks and apparently dropped her off on his bike. I confronted my boyfriend about it immediately and he said the girl called him, said she was in a bad state and he just went to comfort her.

I broke up with ever since then. To me, this is cheating and my gut feeling turned out to be right. But some people in my life are confidently telling me this is not cheating I'm being overly harsh and that I should give him another chance. Should I?

This was not a mutual breakup. It was very sudden and against my wish. Naturally I'm very upset and unable to move on. People who faced a similar situation, can you please help?

(I would also like to say in these three years of our relationship, I was always treated right. We had a very good relationship. I was loved. This is the only issue I had.)

This is cheating right?

My boyfriend and I (both 23) have had a relationship since the last of 2023. We were in our first year of college back then. In 2025, we had our admission and in january he got into (X) university. There he became friends with a girl. He did not tell me about this friendship. I found out about it on my own. Since then I've always had a negative gut feeling about her. Then in march they both got into DU so naturally they transferred here, but in different departments. In August of that year, another friend of mine from his uni told me that my boyfriend and that girl hang out a lot. I communicated with my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with this friendship. He cut her off, from socials and real life. During this cut off period that girl shared a post of my boyfriend from her account. The girl knew that we had issues in our relationship because of her. Cut to october she asked my boyfriend if I could 'allow' them to have their friendship. I said in socials they could be added (i was dumb ik). I specifically told my boyfriend to not talk to her or be with her alone. April 2026, one of my friends sent me a video. My boyfriend was with this girl in a cafe. He was rubbing her hands, patting her cheeks and apparently dropped her off on his bike. I confronted my boyfriend about it immediately and he said the girl called him, said she was in a bad state and he just went to comfort her.

I broke up with ever since then. To me, this is cheating and my gut feeling turned out to be right. But some people in my life are confidently telling me this is not cheating I'm being overly harsh and that I should give him another chance. Should I?

This was not a mutual breakup. It was very sudden and against my wish. Naturally I'm very upset and unable to move on. People who faced a similar situation, can you please help?

(I would also like to say in these three years of our relationship, I was always treated right. We had a very good relationship. I was loved. This is the only issue I had.)

My boyfriend and I (both 23) have had a relationship since the last of 2023. We were in our first year of college back then. In 2025, we had our admission and in january he got into (X) university. There he became friends with a girl. He did not tell me about this friendship. I found out about it on my own. Since then I've always had a negative gut feeling about her. Then in march they both got into DU so naturally they transferred here, but in different departments. In August of that year, another friend of mine from his uni told me that my boyfriend and that girl hang out a lot. I communicated with my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with this friendship. He cut her off, from socials and real life. During this cut off period that girl shared a post of my boyfriend from her account. The girl knew that we had issues in our relationship because of her. Cut to october she asked my boyfriend if I could 'allow' them to have their friendship. I said in socials they could be added (i was dumb ik). I specifically told my boyfriend to not talk to her or be with her alone. April 2026, one of my friends sent me a video. My boyfriend was with this girl in a cafe. He was rubbing her hands, patting her cheeks and apparently dropped her off on his bike. I confronted my boyfriend about it immediately and he said the girl called him, said she was in a bad state and he just went to comfort her.

I broke up with ever since then. To me, this is cheating and my gut feeling turned out to be right. But some people in my life are confidently telling me this is not cheating I'm being overly harsh and that I should give him another chance. Should I?

This was not a mutual breakup. It was very sudden and against my wish. Naturally I'm very upset and unable to move on. People who faced a similar situation, can you please help?

(I would also like to say in these three years of our relationship, I was always treated right. We had a very good relationship. I was loved. This is the only issue I had.)