Engagement Ring Culture and Status Signaling
I don’t know what the point of this post will be other than to rant maybe.
I recently got engaged and the ring I wanted isn’t a diamond ring. I don’t really like jewelry and especially don’t really like stones and couldn’t see myself with a traditional large rock. Which then I catch myself thinking, “is this a Not like Other Girls” thing??
The minute a woman learns I’m engaged they want to see the ring, it’s so weird and uncomfortable. I loveeeeee my ring it feels so me and yet I’m embarrassed by it because it wasn’t expensive and there are so many expectations by society to get a man to get you a large expensive ring. Those just aren’t my values but I also somewhat care about social expectations.
I also learned recently that the diamond cartel De Beers put a ton of effort into marketing diamonds,
→ In 1938, the diamond cartel De Beers began a marketing campaign that would have a major impact on engagement rings. During the Great Depression of the 1930s, the price of diamonds collapsed.[30] At the same time, market research indicated that engagement rings were going out of style with the younger generation. Before World War II, only 10% of American engagement rings contained a diamond.[31] While the first phase of the marketing campaign consisted of market research, the advertising phase began in 1939. One of the first elements of this campaign was to educate the public about the 4 Cs (cut, carats, color, and clarity). In 1947 the slogan "a diamond is forever" was introduced.[32] Ultimately, the De Beers campaign sought to persuade the consumer that an engagement ring is indispensable, and that a diamond is the only acceptable stone for an engagement ring.[33] The sales of diamonds in the United States rose from $23 million to $2.1 billion between 1939 and 1979.[34]
→ The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated from De Beers marketing materials in the mid-20th century in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds. In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring.[41] In the 1980s, they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it (three months in Japan).[31][34] In 2012, the average cost of an engagement ring in the US as reported by the industry was US$4,000.
→ In the early 21st century, the jewellery industry started marketing engagement rings for men under the name "mangagement rings".
I love money. Very few things would successfully part me from $4,000. A beautiful rock is not one of those things. Especially when it’s been marketing campaigns that convinced us it’s an indispensable marker of love. Yet I can’t fully embrace and stand by my position comfortably.