u/psi_queen

I don’t even know how to fully put this into words, but I’m angry, hurt, exhausted, and honestly grieving.

I’m being laid off.

And no, I’m not the only one. This has been happening in waves. The company restructured and laid off around 40% of the team last year. Then another 20% last quarter. And now, another 20% more.

At some point, it stops feeling like “business decisions” and starts feeling like people are being shaved off the company piece by piece until only the cheapest version of labor remains.

And maybe the hardest part is that I genuinely loved working there.

I had four wonderful years with the company. Four years of learning, growing, building relationships, and being part of a team I actually cared about. It was, without exaggeration, the best job I have ever had.

I loved the people. I loved the environment. I loved the work. And now I keep wondering if I’ll ever find something like that again.

I started at around $4–$5/hour. I worked my way up. I made myself useful. I upskilled. I took on more. I learned, adapted, delivered, and became someone they could rely on. Eventually, I reached a rate that was 3x more than the usual offshore hire.

And I know that, in the bigger picture, that rate is still cheap.

That’s what makes this sting so much.

Because apparently, even after all that, the company would still rather replace us with people willing to accept 3x less.

It’s hard not to take that personally, even when I know it’s not really about me. My managers and colleagues have been trying to fight to keep me, and I appreciate that more than they probably know. But I also know how these things usually go. Once the decision comes from the top, there’s only so much anyone can do.

I’ve seen the layoffs coming for weeks, so I started applying before it officially hit me. I’ve been polishing my CV, going through interviews, sending applications, trying to stay practical and keep moving.

But I’m tired.

It’s been two weeks since I found out, and I still have two more weeks to render. I’m trying to show up, finish properly, and stay professional while also worrying about what comes next.

Yes, I have part-time work that can cover the bills for now. I’m grateful for that. But I need a stable main source of income. I have bills to pay. I have plans. I’ve finally started becoming more financially aware and intentional, and the last thing I want is to dip into my savings because a company decided my value could be replaced by a cheaper invoice.

So now, I have no choice but to move forward.

I have to keep applying, keep showing up to interviews, keep trying to find the next opportunity out there, even while I’m still processing the loss of this one.

I know I’m capable. I know I’m hardworking. I know I can learn, adapt, and bring value when someone gives me the chance.

I’m just hoping someone does.

Because honestly, I could really use a win right now.

I don’t even know how to fully put this into words, but I’m angry, hurt, exhausted, and honestly grieving.

I’m being laid off.

And no, I’m not the only one. This has been happening in waves. The company restructured and laid off around 40% of the team last year. Then another 20% last quarter. And now, another 20% more.

At some point, it stops feeling like “business decisions” and starts feeling like people are being shaved off the company piece by piece until only the cheapest version of labor remains.

And maybe the hardest part is that I genuinely loved working there.

I had four wonderful years with the company. Four years of learning, growing, building relationships, and being part of a team I actually cared about. It was, without exaggeration, the best job I have ever had.

I loved the people. I loved the environment. I loved the work. And now I keep wondering if I’ll ever find something like that again.

I started at around $4–$5/hour. I worked my way up. I made myself useful. I upskilled. I took on more. I learned, adapted, delivered, and became someone they could rely on. Eventually, I reached a rate that was 3x more than the usual offshore hire.

And I know that, in the bigger picture, that rate is still cheap.

That’s what makes this sting so much.

Because apparently, even after all that, the company would still rather replace us with people willing to accept 3x less.

It’s hard not to take that personally, even when I know it’s not really about me. My managers and colleagues have been trying to fight to keep me, and I appreciate that more than they probably know. But I also know how these things usually go. Once the decision comes from the top, there’s only so much anyone can do.

I’ve seen the layoffs coming for weeks, so I started applying before it officially hit me. I’ve been polishing my CV, going through interviews, sending applications, trying to stay practical and keep moving.

But I’m tired.

It’s been two weeks since I found out, and I still have two more weeks to render. I’m trying to show up, finish properly, and stay professional while also worrying about what comes next.

Yes, I have part-time work that can cover the bills for now. I’m grateful for that. But I need a stable main source of income. I have bills to pay. I have plans. I’ve finally started becoming more financially aware and intentional, and the last thing I want is to dip into my savings because a company decided my value could be replaced by a cheaper invoice.

So now, I have no choice but to move forward.

I have to keep applying, keep showing up to interviews, keep trying to find the next opportunity out there, even while I’m still processing the loss of this one.

I know I’m capable. I know I’m hardworking. I know I can learn, adapt, and bring value when someone gives me the chance.

I’m just hoping someone does.

Because honestly, I could really use a win right now.