u/purpleshoes3

My husband is a hoarder and I think I'm getting to the point where I can't live like this anymore. Not only does he hoard, he also doesn't see mess or clutter. We recently had a baby and I don't know if I want to submit my child to that sort of life. It's shameful, embarrassing and I feel like I'm Sysiphus; constantly trying to get rid of things but the rate at which trash enters my home exceeds the rate at which I can discard it. Not looking for advice but hopefully can find folks that can relate.

It's getting to the point where it's enough that I have thoughts of leaving him.

Hoping more established mothers in S.F. can give me tips on how to find community before my maternity leave ends. I currently have a 4 month old and she still a bit too small for things like story time at the library. Outside of facebook groups which can be a bit daunting, what else can I try to expand my circle?

Edit: I couldn't reply to all comments but thank you everyone for all of their suggestions and support! It's tough being a new mom but glad I'm not the only one choosing to raise little one in the city!

If you use housekeeping services in S.F., would you mind sharing what the going hourly rate is and what duties your housekeeper includes for that price?

With a newborn and going back to work I’m finding it difficult to also keep up with house maintenance for the time being. I’m just looking for someone to sweep, mop, dust, and tidy up clutter at a frequency of once or twice a week.

I had a complicated pregnancy/traumatic birth and my little one spent some time in the NICU. Throughout the time I was in the hospital, the nurses that were caring for me were like angels on earth. Although it's now 2 months later, I was thinking of dropping off some baked goods for the labor and delivery team as well as the NICU team for taking such great care of me and my daughter.

I also have my daisy award nominations ready to turn in as well.

Hi Dads,

I'm the mom and my husband is going back to work at the end of this week after 6 weeks of paternity leave. While I'm sad that he'll have to go back, I wanted to see if there are dads out there that wished they would've done some bucket list items before going back to work?

I am a child of Asian parents but recognized my parents were full of shit in my teens, so it's been a LONG time since I've been attentive to my parents' needs. I'm thankful in the sense that my parents are self-sufficient and ask very little of me.

However, that's not the case with my spouse. I noticed that when my in-laws visit, he is the worst version of himself and mainly because he jumps at whatever requests my in-laws make. It's as if any request big or small gets acted upon as if it's an emergency. The anxiety and inner chaos just oozes out of my significant other and it truly does sadden me to see him in a such a state.

I hope to hear from those especially in their 30's and 40's so I can understand without judgement, why does one continue to cater to their parents' needs especially when it's detrimental to their own needs? And what do you think a partner can do to best support them?