She came like a fortune gone like a nightmare.
There’s a girl named Manisha, but I used to call her Rinki. I first saw her around September 2024, when her family moved into the house next to mine. There was a wall and a mango tree between our houses, and somehow I started noticing her from my terrace. At first, it was just me quietly looking at her from a distance. I didn’t know that this girl I was simply watching from my terrace would eventually become such an important part of my life.
One of the first real memories I have with her is from the Rath Yatra mela. We went on a ride together, and she got scared and held my hand. Later, she became unwell, and I helped her get home. At that time, I don't think I understood how special that moment would become to me.
Later, she moved somewhere around a kilometre away. I somehow found her through her brother's Instagram. I followed her and eventually started talking to her. I remember bringing her Manchurian and a cold drink, and there was this small moment when we shook hands and she actually held my hand back. Eventually, I got her number, and that's when we really started talking.
From there, she slowly became a part of my everyday life.
We would talk for hours. I was alone for most of my life, and then suddenly there was someone I could tell things to, someone whose messages and calls I would look forward to. We would walk together in the evening, holding hands and talking about completely ordinary things—our day, our lives, random stuff. But those ordinary moments became some of the most precious memories I have.
We also used to take my scooty and just go somewhere without really having a destination. We explored places together, and I still remember our first ride to a familiar city. I remember sitting with her and listening to her talk about her childhood and the place where she grew up. She was very shy in person, and I loved that about her. I remember her smile, the way she spoke, her quietness—little things that probably wouldn't mean much to anyone else but became unforgettable to me.
The strange thing is, we never really had a proper ending.
There wasn't some huge fight between us where everything suddenly fell apart.After my proposal she gradually started ignoring my calls, and sometimes when she answered, she would hand the phone to her sister. Eventually, after an argument involving her sister, I was told not to contact Rinki anymore. And that was basically it.
I never got a proper goodbye from her.
That's probably one of the hardest parts for me. There was no final conversation where we sat down and said goodbye, no chance to ask her what happened or tell her what she meant to me. One day she was such a big part of my life, and then suddenly I had to accept that I wasn't wanted there anymore.
For someone who had spent most of his life feeling alone, she had become something completely different. She made ordinary days feel meaningful. She gave me someone to talk to, someone to wait for, someone to share little things with. For a while, it felt like I had finally found the person who made the loneliness disappear.
And then I lost her.
Recently, I saw her again while I was riding. Seeing her brought everything back. And knowing that she has moved on and has someone else hurts more than I know how to explain. The hardest thought isn't even that she has someone new. It's the realization that the girl who once felt like such a huge part of my life doesn't want me in hers anymore.
Sometimes I look back at those memories and they feel almost unreal, like maybe they never actually happened. I miss the evening walks, holding her hand, our conversations, the scooty rides to nowhere, her smile, her quietness, and simply having her around.
I know I can't force someone to stay in my life. I know people change and move on. But my heart hasn't caught up with that reality yet.
I don't think I'm only grieving the relationship. I'm grieving the life I imagined could have happened with her—the conversations we never had, the places we never went, and all the ordinary days that I thought we would have together.
She came into my life when I was used to being alone, and for a while, she made that loneliness disappear.
That's why losing her has been so difficult.
I don't hate her. I don't even want anything bad for her. I just wish things had ended differently. I wish I had gotten a proper goodbye.
Because for me, she wasn't just a girl I liked.
She became a part of my life that I still don't know how to let go of.