u/radvaa

Originally posted on AITA but removed due to rule violations…. smh.

Fake names used for privacy reasons.

I (20F) recently attended my coworker Madison’s 21st birthday party at her house. I work in the restaurant industry, so everyone is super close. Whenever someone throws a party, half the waitstaff is trying to request off or call out to make it. A few coworkers got stuck working that night, including a busser named Aaron (20M) that my friend Rylee (19F) had been crushing on for weeks.

I got to the party around 8 with some coworkers. Aaron showed up about 3 hours later after his shift and immediately grabbed Madison’s personal bottle of Tito’s and finished it. Around then I went outside to smoke and hang out with some line cooks while the party kept escalating inside.

My boyfriend, who was my designated driver, eventually wanted to leave because the party was getting messy fast: excessive drinking, beer pong, people throwing up off the balcony, the whole stereotypical 21st birthday disaster. So we left.

The next day Madison called me and told me that shortly after I left, Aaron and a couple other guys started trying to pressure a very drunk girl into a “three man” (Madison’s words). There were pictures showing Aaron with his arm around the girl while she was slumped over with her eyes closed. After she repeatedly rejected them, one of the guys dumped a drink on her head. Madison ended the party after that and started sending everyone home.

Apparently Aaron and one of the other guys later snuck back into Madison’s yard to steal alcohol after everyone left.

I was honestly disgusted hearing all this, so I told Rylee because I felt like she deserved to know before getting involved with him. She appreciated me telling her, but now she keeps complaining that she “can’t get over him,” wishes she “never knew,” and feels like she “missed her shot.” She even asked me how morally wrong it would be to still hook up with him. I told her it was wrong enough that I’d be upset with her if she did.

Now she keeps talking about how she wishes she could ignore what happened. Part of me wonders if I should’ve stayed out of it since I didn’t personally witness everything myself. Everything I told her came from Madison and other witnesses at the party. But another part of me feels like I owed it to my best friend to warn her about behavior that sounded really concerning.

AITBF for telling my best friend about her crush’s behavior and ruining her shot with him?

For context i (F 20) work at a large corporate restaurant chain, with a very HIGH turnover rate. Fresh out of high school, i began working there, putting me at 18 years old upon hiring. About 2 months after getting hired, I began having issues with one of four managers, we’ll call him Richard.

Richard had a horrible habit of choosing favorites, and denying people things for no good reason, breaks, food, time off, swapping of shifts, etc. (quite literally illegal, but when you’re managing a staff of 80% teenagers, they don’t often fight back.) One day, a coworker asked me if i could pick up his shift, so i agreed and went through the proper channels of picking up said shift. A nearby male coworker, overheard me discussing the pickup with Richard, and butted in, saying that he also picked up the shift, and wanted to take it. Richard completely shut me down, denied me the shift, and gave it to my male coworker. I was very frustrated, but as it was the middle of a shift, i decided to table it until i was almost off.

During that shift, one of my coworkers came up to me, and told me that Richard was gossiping about me to another coworker and told them that he didn’t give me the shift because he “didn’t wanna put up with my attitude that day”. Richard wasn’t even the manager scheduled for the day i was attempting to pick up.

I approached Richard before i clocked out, and asked to talk to him. I respectfully told him that I was confused as to why he would deny me that shift. I’ll condense it down to his most prominent and remember able points:

- I have a horrible attitude
- he “wasn’t sure if i really enjoyed working there”
- people (allegedly) thought i was “a bitch” (yes he used that exact phrasing)
- the restaurant industry is tough, and no one there “had my back”

I dismissed myself from the ‘conversation’ which was really him talking AT me, and me nodding along while whipping tears. I went out to the back dock to escape and compose myself (all while on the clock, you cannot cause me emotional distress for free) cried some more, and hit my vape, and chatted with some very supportive and kind coworkers who either came out to also smoke, or throw away some trash.

following the situation, I talked to my general manager, who talked to Richard, and was given a write up. to this day, I still don’t know why I bit my tongue and didn’t just squeal to HR. that’s okay, it helped me in the long run. Now here comes the petty revenge.

over the next year and a half I kept track of incidences that had occurred with Richard, either including myself or other coworkers and documented it in my Notes app. There was alot, and i mean, A LOT of issues with him in that period of time.

The final straw for me, and caused me to finally release the ticking time bomb i had been carrying around in my pocket: He told me “I don’t know what to do” when i was facing an issue with a difficult guest, leaving me alone to handle it.

So what did i do? I proceeded with my plan:
OPERATION TAKE DOWN RANDAL

I created a Burner Email Under the name Mike Creast. I sent a detailed email to my company’s HR, anonymously, detailing every single incident with him. The final email can be submitted if requested. Here’s my top 3 violations;

-He showed coworker a picture of another coworkers feet, that was sent privately between the two, without the girls knowledge or consent

-He stated that “men come first in the restaurant”

- He openly discussed personal details regarding another manager, he told TMs that the manager “likes getting his ass ate” and gets brazilian waxes.

One week after my bomb was released, he was seen walking to his car before the morning shift, with a box and all of his things. Never to be seen again. So yeah.

I’d like to thank my grandma for the best life lesson she bestowed upon me: Don’t get mad, get even.

Fake names used for privacy reasons.

I (20F) recently attended my coworker Madison’s 21st birthday party at her house. I work in the restaurant industry, so everyone is super close. Whenever someone throws a party, half the waitstaff is trying to request off or call out to make it. A few coworkers got stuck working that night, including a busser named Aaron (20M) that my friend Rylee (19F) had been crushing on for weeks.

I got to the party around 8 with some coworkers. Aaron showed up about 3 hours later after his shift and immediately grabbed Madison’s personal bottle of Tito’s and finished it. Around then I went outside to smoke and hang out with some line cooks while the party kept escalating inside.

My boyfriend, who was my designated driver, eventually wanted to leave because the party was getting messy fast: excessive drinking, beer pong, people throwing up off the balcony, the whole stereotypical 21st birthday disaster. So we left.

The next day Madison called me and told me that shortly after I left, Aaron and a couple other guys started trying to pressure a very drunk girl into a “three man” (Madison’s words). There were pictures showing Aaron with his arm around the girl while she was slumped over with her eyes closed. After she repeatedly rejected them, one of the guys dumped a drink on her head. Madison ended the party after that and started sending everyone home.

Apparently Aaron and one of the other guys later snuck back into Madison’s yard to steal alcohol after everyone left.

I was honestly disgusted hearing all this, so I told Rylee because I felt like she deserved to know before getting involved with him. She appreciated me telling her, but now she keeps complaining that she “can’t get over him,” wishes she “never knew,” and feels like she “missed her shot.” She even asked me how morally wrong it would be to still hook up with him. I told her it was wrong enough that I’d be upset with her if she did.

Now she keeps talking about how she wishes she could ignore what happened. Part of me wonders if I should’ve stayed out of it since I didn’t personally witness everything myself. Everything I told her came from Madison and other witnesses at the party. But another part of me feels like I owed it to my best friend to warn her about behavior that sounded really concerning.

AITA for telling my best friend about her crush’s behavior and ruining her shot with him?