u/rangtan

Hi everyone, I’m sharing this because I think women in our gym community deserve to have enough information to make informed decisions if they’re ever approached by this coach. The intention isn’t to start drama or attack anyone personally, but to help other gym girls avoid finding themselves in situations that several of us only understood after comparing our experiences.

There’s a coach at BFT One North and Rank (in his forties) who has a pattern of getting involved with female members/clients without being upfront and honest.

From what’s been shared by a few separate women, it usually starts off seeming genuine. He’s established and appears to be well-liked at the gym (especially among the mature crowd). He builds the connection through classes and training, which makes everything feel natural.

Something else that came up across our accounts: he leads early on with stories about his past hurts and hardships, which makes you feel like you’re seeing something real and want to be gentle with him. In hindsight, it created closeness quickly, but nothing about how things ended suggested those issues had actually been worked through. Objectively, we only ever heard his side of those stories.

Similar events kept coming up across our experiences. He was seeing more than one woman during the same period, without any of us knowing about each other. When asked whether he was seeing anyone else, he denied it, and the denial later turned out to be untrue. And when things reached a point where an honest conversation was needed, there wasn’t one. He simply went quiet and disappeared, with no explanation or closure.

Then, when he moved on to the next person, his version of his dating history seemed to be selectively edited (something we only pieced together in hindsight). At least one of us was left out of his recount entirely.

More than one of us only found out about each other when we finally compared notes, which, in a gym community this small, was bound to happen sooner or later. Interestingly, what he said he was looking for never quite matched from one account to the next. His answers seemed to shift depending on who was asking.

And apparently the man even had his own admissions criteria i.e. half his age plus seven, with applicants at or below the cutoff preferred. 👶🏻

To be clear, this isn’t about any one person’s grievance. It’s a pattern that emerged independently across multiple women, which is why it felt worth flagging. The gyms have been made aware, but realistically there doesn’t seem to be much they can do to regulate consensual relationships between coaches and members, so we thought it was better to let people know directly.

We’re not telling anyone what to think or do. We simply wanted other women to have this information so they can make their own informed choices if it’s ever relevant to them.

To be fair, the other coaches at both gyms have been great and have always conducted themselves professionally. Don’t let one person’s behaviour ruin what is otherwise a really positive gym community. 🙂

Hi everyone, I’m sharing this because I think women in our gym community deserve to have enough information to make informed decisions if they’re ever approached by this coach. The intention isn’t to start drama or attack anyone personally, but to help other gym girls avoid finding themselves in situations that several of us only understood after comparing our experiences.

There’s a coach at BFT One North and Rank (in his forties) who has a pattern of getting involved with female members/clients without being upfront and honest.

From what’s been shared by a few separate women, it usually starts off seeming genuine. He’s established and appears to be well-liked at the gym (especially among the mature crowd). He builds the connection through classes and training, which makes everything feel natural.

Something else that came up across our accounts: he leads early on with stories about his past hurts and hardships, which makes you feel like you’re seeing something real and want to be gentle with him. In hindsight, it created closeness quickly, but nothing about how things ended suggested those issues had actually been worked through. Objectively, we only ever heard his side of those stories.

Similar events kept coming up across our experiences. He was seeing more than one woman during the same period, without any of us knowing about each other. When asked whether he was seeing anyone else, he denied it, and the denial later turned out to be untrue. And when things reached a point where an honest conversation was needed, there wasn’t one. He simply went quiet and disappeared, with no explanation or closure.

Then, when he moved on to the next person, his version of his dating history seemed to be selectively edited (something we only pieced together in hindsight). At least one of us was left out of his recount entirely.

More than one of us only found out about each other when we finally compared notes, which, in a gym community this small, was bound to happen sooner or later. Interestingly, what he said he was looking for never quite matched from one account to the next. His answers seemed to shift depending on who was asking.

And apparently the man even had his own admissions criteria i.e. half his age plus seven, with applicants at or below the cutoff preferred. 👶🏻

To be clear, this isn’t about any one person’s grievance. It’s a pattern that emerged independently across multiple women, which is why it felt worth flagging. The gyms have been made aware, but realistically there doesn’t seem to be much they can do to regulate consensual relationships between coaches and members, so we thought it was better to let people know directly.

We’re not telling anyone what to think or do. We simply wanted other women to have this information so they can make their own informed choices if it’s ever relevant to them.

To be fair, the other coaches at both gyms have been great and have always conducted themselves professionally. Don’t let one person’s behaviour ruin what is otherwise a really positive gym community. 🙂

Hi everyone, I’m sharing this because I think women in our gym community deserve to have enough information to make informed decisions if they’re ever approached by this coach. The intention isn’t to start drama or attack anyone personally, but to help other gym girls avoid finding themselves in situations that several of us only understood after comparing our experiences.

There’s a coach at BFT One North and Rank (in his forties) who has a pattern of getting involved with female members/clients without being upfront and honest.

From what’s been shared by a few separate women, it usually starts off seeming genuine. He’s established and appears to be well-liked at the gym (especially among the mature crowd). He builds the connection through classes and training, which makes everything feel natural.

Something else that came up across our accounts: he leads early on with stories about his past hurts and hardships, which makes you feel like you’re seeing something real and want to be gentle with him. In hindsight, it created closeness quickly, but nothing about how things ended suggested those issues had actually been worked through. Objectively, we only ever heard his side of those stories.

Similar events kept coming up across our experiences. He was seeing more than one woman during the same period, without any of us knowing about each other. When asked whether he was seeing anyone else, he denied it, and the denial later turned out to be untrue. And when things reached a point where an honest conversation was needed, there wasn’t one. He simply went quiet and disappeared, with no explanation or closure.

Then, when he moved on to the next person, his version of his dating history seemed to be selectively edited (something we only pieced together in hindsight). At least one of us was left out of his recount entirely.

More than one of us only found out about each other when we finally compared notes, which, in a gym community this small, was bound to happen sooner or later. Interestingly, what he said he was looking for never quite matched from one account to the next. His answers seemed to shift depending on who was asking.

And apparently the man even had his own admissions criteria i.e. half his age plus seven, with applicants at or below the cutoff preferred. 👶🏻

To be clear, this isn’t about any one person’s grievance. It’s a pattern that emerged independently across multiple women, which is why it felt worth flagging. The gyms have been made aware, but realistically there doesn’t seem to be much they can do to regulate consensual relationships between coaches and members, so we thought it was better to let people know directly.

We’re not telling anyone what to think or do. We simply wanted other women to have this information so they can make their own informed choices if it’s ever relevant to them.

To be fair, the other coaches at both gyms have been great and have always conducted themselves professionally. Don’t let one person’s behaviour ruin what is otherwise a really positive gym community. 🙂