u/ravesheets_veggies

I am 27f and to be married next year in the first four months. I have a BA and MA degree in Korean language and id like to think i have good communication skills , i am presentable. I always wanted to have some kind of business but no support in life from literally anywhere when it comes to initiatives. Like If i have had a job and education even if basic… is because i fought for it and cleared an entrance exam otherwise would have not even gone to college or prolly be married and with kids by now… type shit.

So, i worked as a interpreter/translator for 6 months then switched to bpo… although it was related to my language but very passively and where i lost all my skills ( mostly conversational) in the said language. I worked there for around 3.5 years then left last month. While you can earn decent (70-80k or 1 lac per month, i used to earn around 50k) , am not very fond of this career and also find it limiting. I am interested in makeup but that field is also overcrowded and unpredictable.

I want to earn decent because I don’t wanna be fully dependent on my fiance because he is kinda the only one who earns well at his home (his father retired, his brother earn around 60-70k maybe but he keeps asking my fiance for money now n then, his wife and their mother are housewives) and he is kinda defensive about his family, also they live in a 3bhk in gurgaon and it is or will become over crowded if i come along, no space for guests or “me time”. He is also financing the marriage all by himself ( intercaste marriage btw). I already know i am not going to be welcomed with smiles and flowers. But if i sit at home, i will go crazy!

I have always wanted a house of my own in dehradun, my fiance too but he said we will have to wait about 10 years minimum and I don’t think even that will be possible with all the additional members of this family but i am hoping if I contribute a little my fiance will also be motivated to do so sooner. So, i am thinking about appearing for cat this year but mind you i am f\\\*\\\*ing dumb at maths…like i missed two classes and suddenly stopped taking maths seriously as soon at i saw trigonometry. I need career advice what can i do to earn decent around 1/1.5 lacs per month? What skills on top of the existing or new ones? CAT prep? Anything constructive… help your girl out. I don’t ’not want to work’ … i just don’t know how and where?

I am 27f and to be married next year in the first four months. I have a BA and MA degree in Korean language and id like to think i have good communication skills , i am presentable. I always wanted to have some kind of business but no support in life from literally anywhere when it comes to initiatives. Like If i have had a job and education even if basic… is because i fought for it and cleared an entrance exam otherwise would have not even gone to college or prolly be married and with kids by now… type shit.

So, i worked as a interpreter/translator for 6 months then switched to bpo… although it was related to my language but very passively and where i lost all my skills ( mostly conversational) in the said language. I worked there for around 3.5 years then left last month. While you can earn decent (70-80k or 1 lac per month, i used to earn around 50k) , am not very fond of this career and also find it limiting. I am interested in makeup but that field is also overcrowded and unpredictable.

I want to earn decent because I don’t wanna be fully dependent on my fiance because he is kinda the only one who earns well at his home (his father retired, his brother earn around 60-70k maybe but he keeps asking my fiance for money now n then, his wife and their mother are housewives) and he is kinda defensive about his family, also they live in a 3bhk in gurgaon and it is or will become over crowded if i come along, no space for guests or “me time”. He is also financing the marriage all by himself ( intercaste marriage btw). I already know i am not going to be welcomed with smiles and flowers. But if i sit at home, i will go crazy!

I have always wanted a house of my own in dehradun, my fiance too but he said we will have to wait about 10 years minimum and I don’t think even that will be possible with all the additional members of this family but i am hoping if I contribute a little my fiance will also be motivated to do so sooner. So, i am thinking about appearing for cat this year but mind you i am f\\\*\\\*ing dumb at maths…like i missed two classes and suddenly stopped taking maths seriously as soon at i saw trigonometry. I need career advice what can i do to earn decent around 1/1.5 lacs per month? What skills on top of the existing or new ones? CAT prep? Anything constructive… help your girl out. I don’t ’not want to work’ … i just don’t know how and where?

I am 27f and to be married next year in the first four months. I have a BA and MA degree in Korean language and id like to think i have good communication skills , i am presentable. I always wanted to have some kind of business but no support in life from literally anywhere when it comes to initiatives. Like If i have had a job and education even if basic… is because i fought for it and cleared an entrance exam otherwise would have not even gone to college or prolly be married and with kids by now… type shit.

So, i worked as a interpreter/translator for 6 months then switched to bpo… although it was related to my language but very passively and where i lost all my skills ( mostly conversational) in the said language. I worked there for around 3.5 years then left last month. While you can earn decent (70-80k or 1 lac per month, i used to earn around 50k) , am not very fond of this career and also find it limiting. I am interested in makeup but that field is also overcrowded and unpredictable.

I want to earn decent because I don’t wanna be fully dependent on my fiance because he is kinda the only one who earns well at his home (his father retired, his brother earn around 60-70k maybe but he keeps asking my fiance for money now n then, his wife and their mother are housewives) and he is kinda defensive about his family, also they live in a 3bhk in gurgaon and it is or will become over crowded if i come along, no space for guests or “me time”. He is also financing the marriage all by himself ( intercaste marriage btw). I already know i am not going to be welcomed with smiles and flowers. But if i sit at home, i will go crazy!

I have always wanted a house of my own in dehradun, my fiance too but he said we will have to wait about 10 years minimum and I don’t think even that will be possible with all the additional members of this family but i am hoping if I contribute a little my fiance will also be motivated to do so sooner. So, i am thinking about appearing for cat this year but mind you i am f\\\*\\\*ing dumb at maths…like i missed two classes and suddenly stopped taking maths seriously as soon at i saw trigonometry. I need career advice what can i do to earn decent around 1/1.5 lacs per month? What skills on top of the existing or new ones? CAT prep? Anything constructive… help your girl out. I don’t ’not want to work’ … i just don’t know how and where?

I am 27f and to be married next year in the first four months. I have a BA and MA degree in Korean language and id like to think i have good communication skills , i am presentable. I always wanted to have some kind of business but no support in life from literally anywhere when it comes to initiatives. Like If i have had a job and education even if basic… is because i fought for it and cleared an entrance exam otherwise would have not even gone to college or prolly be married and with kids by now… type shit.

So, i worked as a interpreter/translator for 6 months then switched to bpo… although it was related to my language but very passively and where i lost all my skills ( mostly conversational) in the said language. I worked there for around 3.5 years then left last month. While you can earn decent (70-80k or 1 lac per month, i used to earn around 50k) , am not very fond of this career and also find it limiting. I am interested in makeup but that field is also overcrowded and unpredictable.

I want to earn decent because I don’t wanna be fully dependent on my fiance because he is kinda the only one who earns well at his home (his father retired, his brother earn around 60-70k maybe but he keeps asking my fiance for money now n then, his wife and their mother are housewives) and he is kinda defensive about his family, also they live in a 3bhk in gurgaon and it is or will become over crowded if i come along, no space for guests or “me time”. He is also financing the marriage all by himself ( intercaste marriage btw). I already know i am not going to be welcomed with smiles and flowers. But if i sit at home, i will go crazy!

I have always wanted a house of my own in dehradun, my fiance too but he said we will have to wait about 10 years minimum and I don’t think even that will be possible with all the additional members of this family but i am hoping if I contribute a little my fiance will also be motivated to do so sooner. So, i am thinking about appearing for cat this year but mind you i am f\*\*ing dumb at maths…like i missed two classes and suddenly stopped taking maths seriously as soon at i saw trigonometry. I need career advice what can i do to earn decent around 1/1.5 lacs per month? What skills on top of the existing or new ones? CAT prep? Anything constructive… help your girl out. I don’t ’not want to work’ … i just don’t know how and where?

I work and currently stay with just my mom. She has some illnesses like thyroid and eczema and it only worsens if she touches soaps or waters.. I cannot help as i work as well. She refuses to get a maid or any kind of help just says yaha ni hoti maids…
So i Need maid/ househelp suggestions in balawala shamshergarh area. Urgently!!!

Headline: his mother asking him not to give me anything other than the ring.
You guys might remember me from earlier posts.. i talked about casteism and sadly not many of you had much to say. Anyways, so my guy couldn’t convince his family (he’s 32, i’m 27) we’re both garhwalis , i am sc and he is rajput rawat. He took his sweet time of one n a half years asking me to wait so he can convince his parents…. Turns out, he still couldn’t! So we talked to my set of parents, and have arranged for out lowkey( at home with just parents and siblings) engagement. But nobody from his family are coming, not even his siblings. I kinda feel this is disrespectful to me and my family. On top of it, because there was no elder involved from his end, he asked my mum for what arrangements are to be done from his side. My mum told him to do the bare minimum as he’ll be doing it all alone( he earns well though). So she said , that pooja arrangement, pandit, unka samaan… his ring, clothes and sagan for him and his family, maybe a watch for him, a tv or anything that he wants, sab hum kardenge, aap leke aana
ring,
2 jode clothes( that the bride changes into-for the ceremony),
2 jewar( payal, earrings/ nosepin etc),
makeup box( which i told him will be according to my preference),
Fruit basket,
Mithayi aur unki side ki dakshina for the pandit.

Honestly i think this is too bare minimum as i have seen engagements in my family, and typically what i have seen is pooja, the girl wears joda that the guy’s side brings his sisters help the bride get ready, then pooja, then ring exchange, then the groom payal pehenata h, long ya earrings pehnata h, saas wagerah jo bhi dulhan keliye kuch laaye hote h wo dete h, makeup kit dete h(ki ab aadhi shaadi hogyi ab tum humaare ghar ki hogayi) fruit basket and dry fruits dete h to the girls family, then dono families ek dusre ke relatives ko kapde wagerah dete h, groom ko koi chain, watch kuch gift h to wo dete h, ladki ke ghar se 5 bartan jaate h ladke waalo ko etc. Yehi yaad h bas.
But, I understand that meri engagement special circumstances me ho rahi h, but now my guy said, that he talked to his mom and she said ki unke yaha aisa kuch nahi hota.., bas ring, ek mithayi ka dabba, aur fruit basket leke jaa. And he said ki wo bas itna hi karega. ( he also cannot get me the ring i wanted because its going about 1.1 or 1.5 lac)
So….. i am a bit disheartened and confused. Agar uski family participate hi nahi kar rahi h, to unki kyu sune? Aapke ghar ke jo Rituals jo hote h wo batao, instead jo bare minimum h wo bhi mana kar rahi h? All this feels like because she doesn’t consider me as bahu, to wo kuch bhi pahadi follow nahi karne dena chahti apne bete ko even tho she herself isn’t coming ( none of his family is). Its almost like a desi or white engagement bas ring pehnaado or hogaya.
So, what do you guys think? Is this disrespect towards me and my family? Am I overthinking and i should just go with it afterall i love him? My boyfriend doesn’t have a spine? Am i coming across as a gold digger? Should i re think my decision of marrying him?