u/redefine_the_story

We have talked enough for me to know I don’t fit in her upper class world. I told her I felt the only way for her to find peace was to move away from me. She agreed she’s moving next spring. She said “if she had to live my life she would have ended it years ago”. I was in a car accident when she was 10: the person I was, the mother she knew abandoned her, I could barely take care of myself-coma had to learn to walk. It was horrible for both of us. Her father did awful things while I was bed ridden. So I failed her as a parent. I can’t eat I can’t sleep I’m trying to pick up the pieces of a failed life. My therapist said there isn’t “ enough time to work thru this I need you to learn to walk beside it. “. Im not a clingy parent. I text her stupid silly things. I don’t call her I wait she will call when she has time. I’ve asked her once in 7 months to go with me for treatments. If you are a daughter of an aging parent I would appreciate your comments. What am failing to understand?

I 67f have a muscle and movement disorders. I also have a DNR my primary recommend it due the severity of symptoms. My neurologist and orthopedist guess I have 3 to 5 years before I’m wheelchair bound. I worked as a home aide and I look at the symptoms I have, and know living alone won’t be an option. I have some money saved. Assume this scenario: at 72 I get my wheelchair and move to HUD housing and use my savings for in home care. I switch to Medicaid and get in a long term care facility at 75. The odds of them having an open bed are slim I know. Statistically I will die at 84. I don’t mean to come across depressed or morbid I’m just looking at this realistically. I meet with my financial planner at the end of the month. Many elderly function well with a wheelchair but for me it’s complicated by the nature of
my symptoms. What are my options if my goal is to be able die at home under hospice in my bathtub preferably. I can’t be the only one willing to openly discuss this. Option (1) stoping vaccinations at age 73 such as pneumonia 2) move to HUD housing in Oregon; (3)Start smoking; (4)
My apologies to the moderator if I crossed a boundary.