26 broke no saving nothing for the past decade. No longer comfortable being directionless
Dreams been vivid and some straight up weird. Some of them actually make sense, they’re just insanely realistic. I ain’t tripping though I’m honestly just grateful I don’t really crave being high anymore. I used to feel like I couldn’t function without weed, now I got almost zero desire to smoke. Maybe for a special occasion, but even then I’d rather be present in the moment than high and forgetting it the next day.
I’m also glad I don’t feel dependent on THC or any substance anymore. Being at this age, broke as fuck, with no savings after working since 16 really fucks with me. I got no interest in spending my last dollars on weed or alcohol anymore. Too many times I blew money on that shit just to feel empty again once I sobered up.
Thinking about being 26 with nothing saved is honestly insane to me. Still smoking while being down bad? Nah, cut that shit out. Plus I want peace of mind when it comes to drug tests and better job opportunities.
Ever since high school I never knew what I wanted to do. Teachers would ask me about my 5 or 10 year plan and I’d always say “I don’t know.” Well… now I see where that got me. I’m not even at the bottom of the totem pole, I’m underneath the foundation SMH LOL
Time to quit smoking, get a real “big boy” job, and put kitchen work on the back burner (pun intended). Shoutout kitchen confidential, I passionate almost too passionate about cooking tht working for these establishments diminishes that passion so I prefer to maintain my passio In the comfort of my own kitchen.. (also pay, I love my industry but man the pay fucking sucks rn)
I’m also at a point where I genuinely need to start making REAL money. I’ve lost too many years neglecting myself, staying stuck in bad habits, and not taking my future seriously. I’m SOOO tired of living like that.
What’s lowkey been motivating me lately is the fact I live in a semi-rural area surrounded by farms and hardworking people. Long story short, I want to become self-sustaining someday, I find grocery store prices stupid as fuck.. So I want a small-scale farm, work the land, and learn how to operate tractors, combines, and heavy equipment. I’ve also been seeing a lot of construction work around me, and honestly, driving dump trucks and hauling material sounds decent to me. Better than sitting on my ass watching time go by. I want to build things, move things, work with my hands, and actually feel productive. Not be potato
I don’t want to keep living like a fool with no direction. I want to become a disciplined, well-off man with skills, purpose, and something to show for my life.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. IWNSWYT