u/rheganann

I’ve seen posts of telling the children…

But it’s always when it has to do with the/a divorce.

What if you are looking to not divorce?

My partner is a sex addict. He’s cheating on me many times. He goes to meetings, he has a sponsor, but it happened again.
I keep getting told of all the things he’s doing and all the promises but he doesn’t fulfill them and I feel like he needs to come clean to his kids.
I want him to tell the kids we have every other week custody of. (His two eldest are out of state in college)
They see that something’s off.
They’ve only heard us fight once and we were in our bedroom and they were in bed, but I did yell a sentence or two. We do not try to fight in front of them as I grew up in a household of in-your-face fighting and my mother blatantly cheated on my father and I picked that up at age 13. And I’m 40 now and still wish to this day either of them was honest with me. I would have felt betrayed, but I was impacted either way from hearing the fights.
My fiancé’s youngest is nearly 14. The other is 18 and graduating high school.
I want to work this out. But I am pushing him to tell the children - in an age appropriate way - we see every other week.
I feel like when I go cold for weeks as I work through my grief, that I’m always seen as the bad one in the relationship based on their perception as he’s always trying to do and say everything to make it up to me and I just need my time. I am tired of feeling like I’m living a lie and if we are going to reconcile as a new family. I want things based on age-appropriate communication because I feel that foundation is needed everywhere in every relationship.

Is there a reason not to tell them?

Edit: misspelling. I’m sure there’s more.

reddit.com
u/rheganann — 1 day ago

I see a lot of posts about telling children

But it’s always when it has to do with the/a divorce.

What if you are looking to not divorce?

My partner is a sex addict. He’s cheating on me many times. He goes to meetings, he has a sponsor, but it happened again.
I keep getting told of all the things he’s doing and all the promises but he doesn’t fulfill them and I feel like he needs to come clean to his kids.
I want him to tell the kids we have every other week custody of. (His two eldest are out of state in college)
They see that something’s off.
They’ve only heard us fight once and we were in our bedroom and they were in bed, but I did yell a sentence or two. We do not try to fight in front of them as I grew up in a household of in-your-face fighting and my mother blatantly cheated on my father and I picked that up at age 13. And I’m 40 now and still wish to this day either of them was honest with me. I would have felt betrayed, but I was impacted either way from hearing the fights.
My fiancé’s youngest is nearly 14. The other is 18 and graduating high school.
I want to work this out. But I am pushing him to tell the children - in an age appropriate way - we see every other week.
I feel like when I go cold for weeks as I work through my grief, that I’m always seen as the bad one in the relationship based on their perception as he’s always trying to do and say everything to make it up to me and I just need my time. I am tired of feeling like I’m living a lie and if we are going to reconcile as a new family. I want things based on age-appropriate communication because I feel that foundation is needed everywhere in every relationship.

Is there a reason not to tell them?

ETA: a lot more context
Edit: misspelling. I’m sure there’s a lot more

reddit.com
u/rheganann — 1 day ago

I’m overwhelmed

There are so many possibilities now that we’re not limited to the extreme biome and I don’t know where to start lol
So I put down the blazes and the bubbas that I need patterns on. Step one: pattern. Step two: transfer them all! Lol

u/rheganann — 8 days ago

Finally! After playing for the last year, I got my first full color completion with the bubbas! Working on the patterns now!

And my green and black pattern rooms are filling up nicely!

Edit: fixes a word

u/rheganann — 27 days ago