u/robservations247

SUTBID p27; Essential p157

Book Club FAQ

Date	Transcript
Oct 06, 1986	Calvin: With great effort, Calvin thehuman insect advances the paper in the typewriter. His only hope for proper medical treatment lies in his ability to write a legible message to his family! He crawls to each key and jumps! Mom: Who wrote "Help I'm a bug" on my letter to grandma? Calvin: Evidently some bug. How strange.
Oct 07, 1986	Calvin: Back and forth. Back and forth. Tidal wave! Beats me, Mom. Maybe the seal around the tub leaks.
Oct 08, 1986	Calvin: What's this music? Hobbes: It's "The 1812 Overture." Calvin: I kinda like it. Interesting percussion section. Hobbes: Those are cannons. Calvin: And they perform this in crowded comcert halls?? Gee, I thought classical music was boring!
Oct 09, 1986	Calvin: Boy, what a day! I went to school, played outside, and did my homework. I'm exhausted. You know what time it is now? Dad: Uh, 7:35. Calvin: It's Miller time. Dad: Get back here.
Oct 10, 1986	Calvin: Psst...Susie! What's 12+7? Susie: A billion. Calvin: Thanks! Wait a minute. That can't be right... That's what she said 3+4 was.
Oct 11, 1986	Calvin: I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves! Hobbes: So instead of controlling machines, they control us? Pretty scary idea. Calvin: I'll say. Hey! What time is it?? My TV show is on!
Oct 12, 1986	Calvin: Where there dinosaurs when you were a kid, Dad? Dad: Oh sure! Your grandfather and I used to put on our leopard skins and hunt Brontosaurus for all the clan rituals. Mom: Listen Buster, I think Calvin's grade are bad enough already, don't you? Calvin: The horrifying Tyrannosauru's lumbers across the prehistoric valley. The mighty dinosaur is a walking death machine! Only one other creature dares to challenge the terrible Tyrannosaurus! The savage saber-toothed tiger! Hobbes: Gg mmf yow gzzz mkn gbzz yow. Calvin: Wake up! The meek Tyrannosaurus, victim of an innocent misunderstanding tears like heck across the prehistoric valley...

SUTBID p22; Essential p151

Book Club FAQ

DATE	TRANSCRIPT
Mon, Sep 22, 1986	Moe: Pay up squirt. Calvin: Forget it, Moe. I'm not giving you money. In fact, I don't even have any. Moe: Gee, that's too bad. Calvin: Oh, wait, yes, I do! Here. For a kid with a monosyllabic vocabulary, he's awfully persuasive.
Tue, Sep 23, 1986	Calvin: OK, Hobbes. Here's the plan to put Moe out of commission. You come to school with me, and when Moe comes to steal my money, you jump out and eat him! Hobbes: Eat him?? I couldn't do that! Calvin: Sure you could! What's wrong with that?? Hobbes: Fat kids are high in cholesterol. Calvin: Well, just chew him up and spit him out, I don't care!!
Wed, Sep 24, 1986	Mom: If that bully is extorting money, I'm going to call the school and put an end to it. Calvin: Don't do that! If Moe finds out I squealed, I'm a goner! Mom: This kid can't get away with stealing, Calvin. Somebody's got to do something. Calvin: Here's a list of what I'm wearing. See you at the morgue.
Thu, Sep 25, 1986	Moe: Hey, twinkie, here's the 25 cents I "borrowed" from you the other day. Somebody ratted on me, and it's gonna be a dark day if I ever find out who! Calvin: I think I'll use the quarter to call my insurance agent.
Fri, Sep 26, 1986	Calvin: Hey, Dad, it's me! Dad: Calvin, is this important? I'm very busy this morning. Calvin: I'll make it fast, Dad. Can you pick up some topsoil and grass seed on your way home? Dad: Ok, sure. Goodbye.
Sat, Sep 27, 1986	Calvin: Hell, Calvin speaking. I'd like to order a large anchovy pizza. Voice on phone: What? I...?? Calvin: Oh, I'm sorry. You must have dialed the wrong number. Goodbye. I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Sun, Sep 28, 1986	Mom: Quit squirming, Calvin. You've got ice cream all over your shirt. Calvin: Rats, I was saving it for later. Calvin: Thanks for the ice cream, Dad. It was great. Dad: You're welcome. Calvin: I'm tired of pulling you. It's my turn to ride. Hobbes: Your dad didn't get me any ice cream, so I get to ride both ways. Calvin: No, you don't! Dad said tigers don't like ice cream! It's my turn to ride! Hobbes: Tigers don't know if they like ice cream until they try every kind. I'm not pulling. Calvin: I've got news, fuzz brain. I'm not pulling either! Hobbes: Well then, I guess we'll both just sit here until we die. Dad: Why do these "walks" always end up as "rides"? Mom: Oh, you need the exercise more anyway.

SUTBID p18; Essential p148

Book Club FAQ

DATE	TRANSCRIPT
Mon, Sep 15, 1986	Calvin: Summer vacation's over! Nothink ahead but toil and drudgery for a whole year! Hobbes: Oh, come on, you spent hafl the summer complaining how bored you were. Calvin: I did? Hobbes: You did. Calvin: How strange. I must have been delirious from having so much fun.
Tue, Sep 16, 1986	Calvin: I can't believe it! Homework already! I just got back to school! I have to write a paragraph on what I did over the summer! A whole paragraph!! I'll never be able to write that much! It's not fair!! How's it coming? Hobbes: Not so good. What did you do besides watch TV?
Wed, Sep 17, 1986	Calvin: In soccer, you can't touch the ball with your hands or arms. See you can use any other part of your body... ...Even your head! Hobbes: Yeah, but your face?? Doesn't that hurt? Calvin: Rrrrghh! That's not what I meant to do!
Thu, Sep 18, 1986	Calvin: I have a hypothetical question. Suppose a kid at school called me a nasty name... ...Should I kick him real hard in teh shins? Hobbes: No, I don't think violence would be justified. Calvin: Here's another hypothetical question. What if I already did?
Fri, Sep 19, 1986	Calvin: I've decided to grow a beard, Mom. A long beard. Like the guys in ZZ top. Mom: That's nice, Calvin. You go ahead and do that. Calvin: I thought she'd put up more of a fuss than that.
Sat, Sep 20, 1986	Calvin: How about these pants, Mom? Can I get these? Mom: Good heavens, look at the price! I don't have pants that cost this much. And you'll grow right out of these! Honestly, why would any kid need designer clothes?? Hobbes: "Babes." Calvin: Babes, Mom. I gotta look cool.
Sun, Sep 21, 1986	Calvin: Don't turn out the light, Dad! You didn't check under the bed for mosters! Dad: I'm sure there are no mosters under your bed, go to sleep. Dad: Good night. Calvin: Good bye. Any monsters under my bed tonight! Hobbes: There's no answer. Do you think they're gone? Calvin: Maybe they're just staying quiet. Keep watch over the side of the bed. Boy, am I full! I must've gained ten pounds today! Maybe I'm getting a little plump! Hobbes: You're bigger, Calvin, but there's no fat on you! Calvin: I guess you're right. I'm getting big, but I'm still nice and lean! Hobbes: Ugh. Something under the bed is drooling. Calvin: Start tying the sheets together. We'll go out the window.

SUTBID p15; Essential p145

Book Club FAQ

Date	Transcript
Sep 08, 1986	Calvin: Hey, Mom, can we go out for pizza tonight. Mom: No, we had pizza last night, and besides, it's too expensive to eat out all the time. Calvin: Oh, you'd rather blow the evening cooking and washing the dishes than spend a few bucks? Dad: It seems like we go out for pizza a lot these days. Mom: If you'd rather fix a dish of cereal at home be my guest. Calvin: Hobbes wants triple anchovies.
Sep 09, 1986	Calvin: Calvin and his trusty navigator Hobbes roar down the residential road at 90 MPH! Hobbes: Hobbes puts on the turn signal. Calvin: Faster and faster they go! A busload of school children dives from the sidewalk! Hobbes: Hobbes puts on the windshield wipers. Calvin: The police are after them! Calvin crawls down to put in the clutch and shift! Hobbes: Hobbes steers and blows the horn! Mom: All right, I'm back already! Can't I even run an errand without you blowing the horn across the parking lot? Calvin: It was Hobbes, Mom. Not me.
Sep 10, 1986	Calvin: See any UFOs? Hobbes: Not yet. Calvin: Well, keep your eyes peeled. They're bound to land here sooner or later. Hobbes: What will we do when they come? Calvin: See if we can sell mom and dad into slavery for a star cruiser.
Sep 11, 1986	Hobbes: Z Yawn! Calvin: Ta daa! Hobbes: Sheesh.
Sep 12, 1986	Mom: Calvin, I don't want you up there in that tree. Calvin: Why not? Mom: Some of the branches are dead and they might break. Come on down. Calvin: Mom spoils everything. Hobbes: This isn't quite the same, is it?
Sep 13, 1986	Calvin: Gloonk! Gloonk! Mom: Calvin, drink your milk in little sips!
Sep 14, 1986	Calvin as Spaceman Spiff: Spaceman Spiff is hit! He's going down! Fortunately, our hero always buckles up! The fearless Spaceman Spiff has crashed on a distant world! The planet's atmosphere is thick with noxious fumes and gases! Our hero can hardly breathe. Spiff must find help quickly...but is there any life on this hostile world? His question is answered when a hideous blob of gelatinous muck oozes out of a crevice toward him. Spiff's blaster is useless against the slime! Our hero tries to escape, but the suffocating stench envelops him! What a disgusting fate! Calvin: Yechhhh. I sure wish I'd brought my lunch today! Susie Derkins: That's gross, Calvin! If you don't like the cafeteria's topica just leave it alone!

SUTBID p12; Essential p142

Book Club FAQ

Date	Transcript
Sep 01, 1986	Calvin: I'm going to ride this bicycle even if it kills me. Ok, you can let go... Aaugh! Hobbes: Did it kill you? Calvin: Not yet. It's decided to maim me first.
Sep 02, 1986	Hobbes: They say once you learn how to ride a bicycle, you never forget. Calvin: That doesn't surprise me. Warrgh! It works on the same principle as electroshock therapy.
Sep 03, 1986	Calvin: Easy...easy...hold it still... There! Look! I did it! I'm balancing! Hobbes: That's good. Do you want to try it with the kickstand up?
Sep 04, 1986	Crash! Calvin: It jumped me!!
Sep 05, 1986	Calvin: Look, there's a frog! C'mon, let's catch it! Hobbes: I'm not getting near it. Calvin: Why not? Hobbes: They drink water all day just in case someone picks them up.
Sep 06, 1986	Calvin: I'm going to hang around the drugstore all afternoon and read comic books! Mom: Oh, no, you're not! Calvin: Why not?! Mom: Because I'm your mother and I said so. Get back in here. And you can stop goose-stepping around the house!
Sep 07, 1986	Calvin: Do you think Boogeymen really exist? Hobbes: I don't know. ...But if they do, I'm sure this is where they live. Calvin: That was the creepiest campfire story I've ever heard. Let's get back to the tent! Hobbes: I don't think I'll ever sleep again. Calvin: Shh! Hobbes: What? Did you hear something? Calvin: Didn't you? Hobbes: I don't know. What did it sound like? Calvin: Sort of like breathing and drooling and ripping the meat of human bones! Calvin and Hobbes: Yaahhhhh! Hobbes: You were right. I'm glad we carried a generator all this distance.

Welcome to the Calvin & Hobbes Book Club!

Starting August 18, 2026, we’re reading Calvin & Hobbes together — 40 years after the original publication dates.

The goal is simple: read the strip, share your thoughts, discover things you missed, and experience Calvin & Hobbes together with other fans.

📑 TABLE OF CONTENTS

📗 Book 2 — Something Under the Bed Is Drooling (SUTBID)
🔗 Week 1: August 18–24, 2026
🔗 Week 2: August 25–31, 2026

More weeks will be added as we go.

📖 How does the Book Club work?

• Each week we’ll have a dedicated discussion post covering the strips published 40 years ago that week.
• Read along at your own pace, then join the weekly discussion.
• You don’t need to participate every week, and you don’t need to be an expert.
• If you’ve never read Calvin & Hobbes before, you’re welcome to join!

🗓️ Why 40 years?

• We’re following the original publication calendar.
• For example: August 18, 1986 = August 18, 2026
• So when you read the strips with us, you’re reading them approximately 40 years to the day after they originally appeared.
• Our hope is that this gives the entire experience a little extra significance — we’re rediscovering Calvin & Hobbes at the same point in the calendar where readers first experienced it 40 years ago.

📚 What are we reading?

• We’re reading the entire Calvin & Hobbes newspaper run chronologically, from the beginning through the final strip.
• The individual book collections are simply our convenient way of organizing the reading.

🖼️ What about posting the actual strips?

• Because of the copyright issues surrounding Calvin & Hobbes, the Book Club is designed around discussion rather than reposting the strips themselves.
• Please don’t upload or repost copyrighted Calvin & Hobbes strips to the subreddit.
• Instead, tell us about the strip you’re discussing, describe your favorite moment, share your thoughts, or point people toward legitimate ways to read the collection.
• The goal is to talk about Calvin & Hobbes — not redistribute it.

💬 What should I post?
Pretty much anything related to the week’s reading!
Some ideas:

• What was your favorite strip?
• What was the funniest moment?
• What did you notice this time that you missed before?
• Which character stole the show?
• What do you think Watterson was trying to say?
• Did anything hit differently reading it as an adult?
• Did you discover a joke you didn’t understand as a kid?
• Which strip would you have remembered 40 years later?
• What do you think about the artwork?
• What questions did the week’s strips raise for you?

❤️ Most importantly…

• You don’t have to read every week.
• You don’t have to own every book.
• You don’t have to remember every strip.
• And you definitely don’t have to be a Calvin & Hobbes expert.
• Just come read with us.

After all, we’re still reading 40 years later.

SUTBID p9; Essential p139

Book Club FAQ

Date	Transcript
Aug 25, 1986	Hobbes: I think I'm using too strong a sun screen.
Aug 26, 1986	Calvin: Fishing is the most boring sport in the world. We've been sitting here for twenty minutes and not one thing has happened! Waaughh...
Aug 27, 1986	Calvin: You're on my half of the bed! Move over! Hobbes: Your side is way over there! Give me back those covers! Dad: Calvin, be quiet and go to sleep!! Calvin: You heard dad he said to get on your side and leave the covers alone! Hobbes: That's not what he said! Hey! You stole my pillow! This lumpy one is yours!
Aug 28, 1986	Calvin: With a drink of magic elixir, Calvin turns himself invisible. Completely transparent, he roams undetected! Mom: Calvin? Boy, as soon as you want something done around here, that kid's nowhere to be seen.
Aug 29, 1986	Calvin: Ha ha! I have turned myself invisible! By removing my clothing I can perpetrate any crime undetected! I have complete freedom! I can get away with anything! Mom: Calvin! What on earth are you doing in the cookie jar without your clothes on?!?
Aug 30, 1986	Calvin: Your polls are slipping, Dad. Better get with it. Dad: Calvin. Being your dad is not an elected position. I don't have to respond to polls. Calvin: Not elected? You mean you can govern with dictatorial impunity? Dad: Exactly. Calvin: In short, open revolt and exile is the only hope for change? Dad: I don't like the direction this conversation is taking.
Aug 31, 1986	Calvin: Gravity is arbitrary! Calvin Wakes up one day to find he is immune to the force of gravity. He hangs on to the ground for dear life, but his grip is weakening! He can't hold on! He...he lets go! Aaaaaaaaa. Higher and higher, as upward he falls! Only by grabbing the tail fin of a passing jet does Calvin save himself from being hurled out into space! Dad: No, no let him finish. This is very interesting. So after you landed in Phoenix, what happened? Mom: Well, I don't care. I'm not sewing velcro on the ouside of all his clothes. Calvin: Well, about then my gravity came back, so I...

Something Under The Bed Is Drooling p5

Essential p136

Complete p141

8/18: Hobbes: "Add two eggs and stir." Calvin: Right. Hobbes: The recipe says it makes twenty pancakes, so we'll each get ten. Calvin: Nah, that's too much trouble. We'll just make one big pancake and cut it in half.

8/19: Calvin: Dad, I want a bedtime story! Dad: I'm busy, Calvin. I'll read you one tomorrow. Calvin: If you don't read me a story, I won't go to bed! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Calvin, who always wanted things his way. One day his dad got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end. Calvin: I don't like these stories with morals.

8/20: Mom: Dinner's ready, Calvin. Come to the table. Calvin: I'm watching television. Mom: No, you're not! Calvin: Yes, I am. I'm right here in front of it! Mom: No you're not! Calvin: Oh, that's right. I'm at the table.

8/21: Susie: I saw a turtle down by the creek. Calvin: Big deal! Who cares? I've seen hundreds of turtles! Probably millions! Who wants to see another dumb ol' turtle? Susie: Ha!

8/22: Calvin: Can I ride in the grocery cart? Mom: I think you're a little big for that now. Calvin: Please?? Mom: All right. Up you go. Calvin: Oh boy! Now run down the aisle and let go!

8/23: Aawweeawweeaaw! The water looked a little cold, eh, Tarzan?

8/24: Calvin: Wanna toss the ol' pigskin around? Hobbes: Heck no. Calvin: Phooey. Hobbes: The center snaps the ball! Calvin: The quarterback looks for an opening! The defense disintergrates beneath the coming onslaught! The quarterback jumps and dodges! Hobbes: Hobbes breaks clear! Calvin: Calvin passes! Hobbes: An amazing catch! Hobbes is at the 30..the 20..the 10.. Calvin: But he's tackled from behind and laterals to Calvin so he can make the touchdown! Hobbes: But Calvin fumbles the ball and Hobbes recovers it! Calvin: But a penalty is called on the play and Hobbes is sent to the bench! Hobbes: Hobbes defects to the other team and is greeted with enthusiastic cheers! The crowd goes wild! Calvin: Calvin prepares to cripple the traitor with an illegal face mask pull! Hobbes: Hobbes defies him by pouring out his mouth guard onto Calvin's helmet! Calvin: Boy, you can see why football is such a violent game! Hobbes: Hobbes' team gains a yard! All the cheerleaders come out for smooches!!

The first strip in Something Under the Bed is Drooling was published in newspapers on August 18, 1986 - 40 years ago!
We are going to try a book club at a pace of a week at a time.
Each week a new date-range post will be pinned so we can discuss the comment.
(We will eventually revisit book 1 during sabbatical dates)
I considered many ways to run a book club and I think this will be the best since it will let us relive the way the strips came to life.
Get yourself organized - find the book and put it on the coffee table or nightstand or breakfast bar. Disconnect and read it on paper. Then come here to discuss.
Note: you can find the strips…
- SUTBID or
- half way into The Essential C&H,
- Complete Collection
- Portable compendium

Can we make this the unofficial main thread for all things Config 2026?

This will be my first Config and I am excited and curious to learn about all the things.

What do you plan to bring?