u/runix_the_undefeated

so since I’m waiting for an expedition arc to begin, and im to tired to draw for actual posts, i wanted to ask, would a «dating sim» based on the three villains be funny? The options would be

Glimmering Queen, lonely monarch of amber

maw, calm eater of souls

and lastly Maitake, mysterious god of mushrooms

yah just say in the comments if im cooking or if in cooked

i just can’t be working with people that again and again prove they agree with a certain traumatic incident in my IRL life that i will refrain from sharing with you so i dont have to put trigger warnings on this post, this has happened enough times that i’m starting to believe the people involved in that incident were justified, and i know once that idea gets it footing it’s over for me, so i’m stepping down as a mod

IN ORDER THEY ARE

ELLIE, PATH OF THE SPEAR, SHE IS SPECIAL BECAUSE OF HER COMMITMENT AND STRENGTH, SHE IS GRANTED ANOTHER SPEAR, AND SHE IS NOW A MASTER OF THE SPEAR, SHE WAS TAUGHT THESE SIX TECHNIQUES

1. Launch, you throw the pole at your enemy, sacrificing your weapon if you only have one, but dealing high damage at a range
2. Parry, you block with the pole and throw the attack back at your enemy, giving you the opportunity to attack back
3. Wind step, you move so fast in a burst that your enemy can’t even see you, so it looks like you are teleporting to them
4. Rush, you attack extremely fast for a few seconds, pushing the end of the pole to attack your opponent 
5. Spin, you spin around, attacking anyone around you
6. Windpipe, where you attack your enemy’s beck to prevent their breathing for a couple seconds

 

THEN WE HAVE VORACE, SPECIAL BECAUSE OF HIS DESIRE, HE WILL BE GRANTED A NEW WHIP, AND HE BECAME A MASTER OF WHIPS, HE LEARNED THESE THREE SKILLS

1. Grand slam, you move so fast it looks you are teleporting over your opponent, and you slam down, attacking underneath you as you do, dealing damage no matter how light you are 
2. Judgements wheel, where you spin your weapon in a circle, launching everything you touch with it away from you in a circle
3. Arbiters Grasp, where you wrap your weapon around the opponent and pull them in, crushing them in the process

 

LAST IS NULL, SPECIAL BECAUSE OF HIS STRENGTH, PATH OF THE NAIL, HE WILL GET A NEW GREATNAIL, BECAUSE HE HAS MASTERED NAILS, AND HE HAS LEARNED THESE THREE SKILLS

1. Pure power, strike so hard your opponent gets dizzy, extreme damage is all you need
2. Pure tornado, spin around with your weapon, dealing high damage multiple times 
3. Pure blitz, attack before your opponent can react, while still hurting more than a regular attack

 

THOSE WERE ALL FOR THE FIRST ROUND, GOODBYE MY STUDENTS, AND MAY YOU FIGHT WELL AND IN MANY BATTLES

she seems slightly nervous, but excited

(thats a traced picture of ME, that’s not a hanged person)

STUBBY NO LIE, STUBBY HERO, can’t wait to have Stubby‘s eggies, perfect form achieved

I AM POINITRIP, GOD OF WAR, COMBAT, STRENGTH, AND TACTICS, AND I WANT TO TEACH YOU

THIS WORLD HAS GROWN WEAK, AND THE AVERAGE PERSON CAN DO NOTHING AGAINST THREATS LIKE ROMINO, OR DUTY, OR ANYTHING ELSE

THEREFORE I HAVE A PROGRAM, ONE WHERE YOU CAN CHOOSE A WEAPON, EACH OF WHICH FITS WITHIN ONE OF NINE PATHS

I WILL PERSONALLY TUTOR YOU AND TEACH YOU, AS WELL AS GIVE YOU THE WEAPON YOU CHOSE TO TRAIN WITH, FORGED FROM MY OWN FLESH, IT MAY BE LESS FLASHY THAN YOUR MAIN WEAPONS, BUT ARE GOOD BACKUPS, AS THEY ARE NEARLY INDESTRUCTIBLE

THE PATHS ARE

1. Path of the nail, which are strength based blades like nails, or axes, this path is focused on power, hit hard and hit fast
2. path of the pin, which are dexterity based blades, like pins, or knives, this path is focused on precision and speed, hit where it hurts, and dash around
3. Path of the meteor, which are weapons with chains or ropes, like thuribles or rope darts or chains, this path is focused on controlling space, hit enemies away, pull them towards you, relocate, if you control the space you control the enemy
4. path of the pole, which are polearms, like spears or staffs, this path is focused on versatility, double the abilities, a jack of all trades, master of none
5. path of strings, which are bows, crossbows, slingshots, all those types, this path is focused on range, stay away from targets and fill them up with ammunition
6. path of the bonk, which are blunt weapons, like hammers, maces, clubs, this path is focused on pure power, hit your enemies so hard they can’t move or see, smash them into the ground or send them flying
7. Path of the claw, which are your natural weapon, like claws, fists, or tails, this path is focused on natural power, even when disarmed you can use this path, what it lacks in power it regains in adaptability
8. Path of the defender, which are shields and such, this path is focused on defence, strike your opponents during the openings, but never waver, you are a wall, and a wall is unmovable
9. path of the star, which are throwables, like shuriken, throwing knives, boomerangs, this path is focused on quantity, fill the battlefield with projectiles, make the enemy feel surrounded by yourself, tools are your friend

AND THATS THE SCHOOL, CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS OPPORTUNITY, FOR WHAT PHARLOOM NEEDS NOW IS POOOWER

moncer has made rope out of her sheets and hung herself in her room, a letter is laying below her

she is kissing and hugging it

1. every mossgrub has to wear the clothes of the Broodfather
2. every mossgrub has to pray to the Broodfather twice a day
3. every mossgrub has to listen to the Broodfathers orders
4. any showing of defiance against the Broodfather shall be met with death
5. the Broodfathers flags shall be displayed in every public space

((yes Marc, Layne will face consequences this time, if you ignore this Layne will be permadead with no objections from this, you cannot un canon this, you put yourself in this position, there is nothing you can do but try to defeat Helios, who is using Layne's natural counter, and has home terrain advantage rn because his creation pulled them in there))

PHARLOOM, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY KIN! I HAVE DONE IT, THE FIRST VICTORY OVER DUTY, I HAVE CAPTURED GROAL THE GREAT, LEADER OF BILEWATER, AND PAWN OF DUTY! AND FOR YOU STILKINS, I GIVE YOU THE OPTIONS: ONE, ABANDON GROALS IDEALS, AND TURN BILEWATER GREAT IN THE PROCESS, OR TWO, BE CRUSHED UNDER OUR FLUFFY FISTS AND WE WILL MAKE YOU SUBMIT, IM NOT A CRUEL RULER, BUT I WILL STRIKE IF I NEED TO, AND YOU SAW HOW MUCH DESTRUCTION I COULD DO ON MY OWN, IMAGINE WHAT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF US CAN DO! 

the mosskin cheer, a roar of purring is heard throughout pharloom

to summarise, the ragebeast has been sent out, it is attacking anything alive, this is the main danger, killing civilians and troops alike

Secondly, mossgrubs have set up cleaning stations around the borders (the image isn’t technically a border, but close enoug), along with drums, the cleaning stations makes the water clear, so any stilkin attempting to escape through the water will be stopped and detained, or killed if they resist, and the drums repel the ragebeast, keeping it inside bilewater

thirdly, Moncer had teleported to groal and Zydons conversation, and she had unleashed a single sneak attack, a battle is surely going to take place here

also ignore my son, it was take your child to work day in the kindergarten, he will behave (keep in mind i broke my rule of simple abilities for this round, a lot of these things are pretty complicated or they have a lot of abilities) 

1. heaven piercer, a bow with three abilities, arrow enhancement, all arrows shot are much faster and homes in on targets, second is gaseous form, where you can become clouds for a second or two to avoid an attack, and flight, self explanatory 

2. seam ripper, this special weapon has three abilities, spell ripper, where you can temporarily disable silk based magic affecting you, silk siphon, where any attack you do gives you silk, and bind, where you can bind during combat to heal, or absorb your opponent for their special abilities 

3. dune maker, a fan with two abilities, sand manipulation, you can blow sand around, second is glass making, where you can make sand into glass

4. Thunder smasher, this lance has two abilities, electrification, where the lance gets covered in electricity, and secondly, thunder struck, where the user gets flung straight forwards in an unstoppable unblockable dash, ripping through anything in its path with lightning fast speed 

5. unending radiance, this bident has four abilities, sword rain, which summons nine swords above any point in your line of sight, and smashes them down, flashbang, which blinds anything in a 360 degree radius around the user, orbital sun, which spawns a homing orb that attacks the target, and the last is blinding cross, which summons two lasers which combines in a cross (like the biblical one) to smite those in its path

6. eternal blaze, this sword only has one ability, heat increase, where you can temporarily make the sword much hotter, it can stack up to three times, each time making it deal more damage in exchange for the crossguard shrinking and the blade thinning «papa let me help with this :>» yes you did Apollon, you helped a lot

7. depths fury, this staff has four abilities, submerge, pulling your enemy into a waist deep realm where only you can enter, phase shift, where you make water into either scalding steam or freezing ice, skipper, where you can walk on water or ice to go four times faster, force, where you push ice, water, or steam into a direction at high speeds, making waves or walls 

8. erupting core, this pickaxe has three abilities, earthquake, where you shake the ground around you, canyon, where you open up the floor underneath your opponent, and return, where it comes back to your hand after you throw it

9. nature’s wrath, this sword has three abilities, bud, where the sword launches three buds into the opponent, rooting them into the ground after a few seconds, doesn’t work on machines, vine, where a vine erupts from the ground besides you, grabbing an enemy and pulling them in, and perfume, a zone around you where your enemies become dizzy and you heal a TINY bit

10. endless abyss, this hammer has two abilities, shade, which launches the slab of void on the end at your opponent, it grows back after a few seconds, and blackout, removing the ability to see in ANY way for anyone but you for a couple seconds in an area around you

That was all «buy papa’s weapons or i eat you» no Apollon, i went over this, you don’t eat people, but yes, please buy these :>

she is careful to exit bilewater before getting time frozen

seems she is back to herself