thinking i'm probably intersex, but it's too late to know for sure
i've considered i could be intersex for the past, maybe 5-6 years. mostly just an on and off thinking pattern. and i've had more and more evidence to support it, but as i'm trans masc and been on testosterone for the past 2 and a half years, i feel it's a bit too late to be sure of that.
prior to any doctor visits in the past 3 years, i've always been abnormally hairy. confirmed i had hirtuism by my provider on my pre-t visit. since first menstruation, it's always been increasingly irregular. it first skipped a month after 2 months of starting. over the years, i kept track of how often i had it. 6 times a year, 5 times a year. i would go months, around 3-4 months, without it sometimes until it decided to appear randomly again. sometimes i would bleed heavily, sometimes so light it could be considered spotting. once i have a brief, literally small spotting and thought i started and then it went away! immediately after and never came back for that month. numerous times, i would sometimes have brown discharge that i always passed off as old blood. it often appeared right before my menstruation. once i had it for one week prior to my menstruation before actually bleeding for another week. it was awful. my cycles were somewhere between the shortest of 3 days and (without counting brown discharge) the longest of 8 days. it was never consistent at all. oddly though, i rarely had cramps so that was good. occasionally i did, either long and mildly uncomfortable or painful. terribly so.
i've considered stress ? no. weight ? no factor. it was so confusing. prior to pre-t, it was confirmed my levels of testosterone were already higher than normal and that could've been the underlying cause. my provider even said i could have pcos/pmos, but never confirmed it or gave an official diagnosis. which left me confused. terribly.
moving forward, maybe a year ago, i had a iud that fell out of place (liletta) and they had to do an ultrasound. during that, there was the confirmation that i did not have any ovarian cysts, which was good, but conflicting. i know i don't need to have that to have pmos, but it leaves me feeling. in denial.
i've looked at my labs, my blood tests and it does somewhat look like i could have an insulin resistance, borderline past visit with my hdl being low as 30s with normal triglycerides. i've been doing so much research and yes. it points to i have pmos. i have 2/3 symptoms required and yet. without an official diagnosis i feel i can't trust myself. yes, i self-diagnosed myself with adhd before being officially diagnosed, but that was mental, not physical. i know professionals and doctors could be wrong, but so could i. i just have in mind, if it's not pmos, then what is it? i've always been adamant on labels and essentially just knowing the causes to why i am the way i am. without that, i'm so lost and confused. leaves me feeling like i don't even know myself.
but yeah. didn't mean to rant for this long 😭😭 just had so much on my mind and got carried away. tldr: denial is a bitch to deal with