u/sabzaael

I have reached a stage in my life where everything feels numb and lonely . I am carrying every single heavy negative emotion all at once, drowning under a weight that nobody else can see.

My mental health is gone after that one devastating heartbreak, and it broke something deep inside me i don't miss him anymore but he took all my abilities with him. On top of that, I am struggling deeply with my career. I am currently preparing for an exam, but I feel like I am about to lose my chance again because my mental health is completely wrecked and I am unable to keep going. Watching my future slip into uncertainty while my mind falls apart makes me feel like I am failing while the rest of the world keeps moving forward. I used to have a solid circle of friends, but I slowly built walls and distanced myself from everyone until I had no friends left. I even maintained my distance from my best friend, someone who had been in my life for a very long time, because certain things transpired between us and we barely communicate ANYMOREEEE.

What hurts even more is how my extended family views me. They consider me arrogant simply because I do not talk to anyone. They think my silence comes from pride and assume that my attitude is the reason I am not reaching my goals or becoming successful. I wish someone would tell them what I am actually going through mentally.

I love my parents and my family deeply. I give them ample time and talk to them, and they are truly the only people I interact with since I do not meet anyone else. But sitting with them for more than an hour feels like a pressure cooker, as if I am about to completely burst in front of them. I refuse to let them see my weak side because they have always known me as the strong, brave girl who remains unaffected by everything. They have no idea that behind that mask, I am completely falling apart.

And on some nights, this loneliness is so intense that I just want to escape and run away from this relentless pain. On other days, I crave absolute isolation because my internal energy is melting away, leaving me exhausted, misunderstood, and profoundly alone.

Wearing a mask of strength in front of the people you love is often harder than carrying the pain itself, especially when your silence is mistaken for arrogance.

Appearing for neet is filled with uncertainties . You don't know the outcome and honestly I'm already scared of this neet . Idk what should i do , i myself wanted to come out of this loop but my family is telling me you have potential, you'll crack neet if you study hard but I'm confused as hell . Rn i do have this amu opportunity, idk if next year I'll be having any or not !.

I'm thinking of going for the second drop but I'm yet to start .

which i used to call my ex out of love , the moment i laid my eyes on that , i felt restless and now there is this sudden ache in my heart. I miss him so much , he was my first love and will be the last as well. I might go for an arranged marriage now or no marriage. I've repented about everything, imagine being so much self aware that ik whatever it was , is wrong and beautiful as well . I won't go back to him ever but i miss him so much , without him , my life has turned so miserable, lord is not helping me out either maybe because of the things I've done minor or major both included. Khairr , may everything turn well for me now , I've no hekth for it anymore.

I told him i didn't appear for it , I'll see next time , he left the room in a very sad mood and my mother is not yet aware about the result . The moment she'll know , she will almost kill me with her toxic words which is fair for her as to her I have always topped every exam till now , so she has expectations not only of her but my father too . My mother and siblings were only aware about my re appearing in neet excluding my father , because I can't face him . Idk , but I'm feeling hell and depressed. Mujhe dum horaha hai , paseenai aarhai hai ! Just rn ,mai sun rahi huu apni neighbour ko meri czn wai bahar kehte hue ,kal neet ka result tha ,emis kyaa result,woh bol rhi hai mujhe abhi pata nahi ,wou abh meri czn bhi idr aa tapkaigii !My god !

I want to attempt suicide atp .

I can't bear this !😭😭

But the environment at my home is getting worse day by day , new day new trauma, atp , i want to escape my home badly , I've been through heartbreak in my 12th , after which i suffered badly in my 1st drop 2026 year , now somehow gained that courage to take drop again but my family environment is so toxic ! I want to run from here, cry out loud😭! I'm thinking of doing nursing now through pmsss , but they are also not opening registration for it. I'm rotten at home ! 😭 The panic attacks i control in this toxic family, rn my heart is about to burst ! 😭... I can't even express my feelings with my friends, I'm very unexpressive. Mye chi andri dum govmut , bi cxalhaa yetii doerr kun jayeii 😭,waii... Maine bohat khud ko mana kar bola tha I'll give my best this year for neet , phir jo hoga Allah k haath mai hoga but idk nowww ...

Guys, I need advice! I’m planning to apply for the BVSc course through PMSSS this year, though it’s delayed for now. I have 95% in 12th grade and a qualifying NEET score. What I’m specifically curious about is: will I get a college for BVSc through PMSSS considering my merit? And if I do get a seat, is it worth it in the Kashmir context? What are the career prospects after completing BVSc?

I'm stuck in this weird situation... My ex and his Gf have blocked me on Instagram . It's not a problem for me emotionally but I'm not able to keep a profile picture on it because I don't want them to see how I'm doing and how much I've changed. I don't want to be easily accessible to them or let them stalk me for free. They should have to put in effort to see how I'm doing. And I'm damnn sure they are stalking me ...

Leave it aside but now the issue is i really want to have a profile picture on Instagram because it's been more than a year since I removed my Dp. So far the only solutions I see are: either I delete my Instagram account which i can't do because it's so dear to me and has so much stuff on it or they unblock me so I can block them, and then they won't be able to find me.

Idk what I should do but I want to keep a profile photo on Insta so badly 😭😭.

Any k twitter user here , idk how to use reddit properly, myei waentov yei use kithkean karun ! 😭Bi chsss ethakean pakaan yeti 😔😭

I never thought I would fall from being a topper to feeling like a complete failure. It's sad to see how my own actions and procrastination have led me here. Yet, despite this sadness, I still wish for the peace my heart deserves.