u/samothrace93

I feel like the lowest person on earth.

I met someone wonderful through this subreddit, and I didn’t know how to keep him.

Over the three months we talked, I became more certain with each passing day that you were the person I wanted to spend my life with. Until three days ago, when you found my other Instagram account, the one I created in December 2024. My last post was on 23 June 2025, and the last DM I replied to was nine weeks ago.
None of that mattered to you. What mattered was a reply I left on a comment under one of my photos two weeks ago. That single moment became the beginning of our end.

I wish I had been given the chance to tell you why that account existed in the first place. Why I posted suggestive pictures of myself. Why I replied to that comment.

I wasn’t always like this.

Before Grindr, I never cared much about how I looked. But joining it in 2014 made me painfully aware of how ordinary I believed I was. From that day on, I kept chasing validation from people I thought were better than me, hoping that if they desired me, maybe I was worth something after all.

That search slowly became my downfall. I hid my face and let my body speak for me, convincing myself that attention was the same thing as acceptance.
But since last night, I have felt like nothing less than a cheater, a disloyal man, and a whore.

I wish you could believe me when I say that I would abandon everything I have just to fix what I broke between us.

I know trust isn’t rebuilt with words. It is rebuilt with honesty, patience, and time. I don’t expect this letter to erase your hurt or change your mind overnight. I only hope it helps you understand that the person you came to know over these past three months was real. My feelings for you were never a lie, even if my silence about my past became one.

If there is even the smallest part of you willing to hear me out, I would be grateful for one conversation. Not so I can defend myself, but so I can tell you everything I should have told you from the beginning. If, after that, you still decide to walk away, I will respect your decision. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you while you believed silence was the whole truth.

I miss you.

I miss you the way a body misses its own heartbeat.

Years from now, when silver has found our hair and time has etched its gentle stories across our faces, I’ll steal up behind you in silence and wrap my arms around you.

You’ll smile, lean into me, and whisper, “After all this time?”

I’ll hold you a little tighter before answering, “Always.”

I have a friend who has been battling Misophonia for as long as he can remember. They are days where he just cannot function because of this. I have been looking into multi disciplinary doctors who may be able to treat/manage this condition.

Anyone in this sub who has it, or knows someone who has it, and could suggest a doctor/therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/audiologist In Lahore/Sialkot who could help my friend?