Looking for solidarity 2 years after birth trauma
As the title says I'm almost 2 years pp and the thought of touching or pushing on my scar still gives me like a gutteral ick. I see scar adhesion massage videos and almost gag thinking about doing that to myself. I had an emergency c section, then 5 days later they reopened it due to a massive haematoma and then after my scar opened up in 2 spots with 3cm holes. There's so much trauma attached to that part of my body. I want to have a second, and I know that I'm a great VBAC candidate but am I dreaming to think that I can do this while I still feel so ick about it?
Anyway, just wanted to vent and ask if others have the same feelings this far pp?