I let her suffer because of my narrow minded thinking.
English is not my main language but I tried to put all my emotions. I hope y'all understand and give me any advice if you want.
I'm in love with a girl and we were in a good relationship for the last 5-6 years. My love for her is growing day by day. But due to my immaturity, i hurt her many times. She is that type of girl where everyone feels relaxed. Her friendly nature, her talks, her voice and her attitude of handling every situation very calmly inspires others. Every day I felt how lucky I was to be loved by that girl who is a safe space for tonnes of friends. I admire her from the 1st day of college. There's an orphan guy, who wants to be her brother cause she reminds him of his late sister. And stupid me, I don't want him to talk to her. I'm so stupid that I doubted their pure brother-sister love. I know people talk when someone's gf is with any other guy. But I thought I was not the guy. I want her to cherish, enjoy every day but in reality, I'm the one who is the reason for her sleepless nights, her cries, her loneliness. She listens to everyone but she keeps herself an introvert. I was the only one where she opened her emotions. Her brother now lives in another city. I obviously haven't talked to him since that day. He is in some condition and she thinks that he needs a family member. So she went to give a visit. And I'm being myself, didn't talk to her nor drop her off at the airport. I felt so bad, really bad , like disgusting. How the hell could I let her be alone in an unknown City ?? I didn't realize what I just did. She was at the airport. I pick my bike and drive as fast as I can. But it's raining. I couldn't reach at the right time. She takes off just 1 mins before I reach there. Now I want her to forgive me. How could she ?
I know I'll do anything to make her feel happy but I'm doing anything or doing worse. She always forgives me. But I don't think this time it will be. I trust her and his brother. And there's nothing about to talk about trust. They were always a pure relationship. I ruined it. I ruined my relationship. I ruined our friendship. I killed her innocence. She doesn't act childish again like before. I'm ready to do anything for her. I want to be with her. I want her to forgive me. I really love her and she also loves me so much. But I ruined everything .