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u/schneeknd

r/AutismInWomen r/depressionmeals r/PMDD
sometimes i feel like a sick dog that needs to be put down
▲ 10 r/depressionmeals

sometimes i feel like a sick dog that needs to be put down

i started taking an immunosuppressant because my rheumatism caused me so much pain lately. i cried when i had to go to the toilet cause simply moving felt so excruciating. but now my meds - that could also potentially cause cancer or organ failure btw - make me get UTIs very easily. this is the second one in like 1-2 months. i just don't wanna be in pain. i'll start taking supplements for my bladder so it will be fine, i don't need advice. but it pisses me off so much that i have to do so much in order to just live

u/schneeknd — 14 hours ago
▲ 48 r/AutismInWomen

figuring out sexuality with alexithymia

i've been with my boyfriend for over a year now (after dating for a whole year). i still don't know if i'm sexually attracted to him. or if i ever was sexually attracted to anyone else. i'm so confused. like i do want sex sometimes - though not at the moment because i just got an iud - but idk man, i don't think i ever specifically want to have sex with him. i think i just want the sensation and i don't want it with anyone else because i only feel safe with him. you feel me?

it's tough because i feel like i'm more attracted to women in every aspect. like i don't even find most men attractive. i find women's bodies much more appealing. i don't know if i'm necessarily sexually attracted to them because i've never tried. my boyfriend gave me a pass to have some experiences at some point. but yeah idk, until then i guess i will just be very confused. i just feel like kissing women always felt so nice (the 2 times i did it lol), whereas kissing men oftentimes doesn't make me feel a lot. it has in the past with some men but with my boyfriend i don't feel that kind of chemistry ig. sometimes it is nice but it's never given me like butterflies

maybe i'm just asexual??? i don't know. will i ever know? i hope so. sorry for rambling but dude i'm just genuinely so lost. fearful avoidant attachment doesn't help because i question everything on a regular :') but genuinely, i'm scared of just not feeling sexual attraction towards my bf. but it's just incredibly hard to tell - especially since this is my first healthy relationship. i take much better care of myself and my needs now. i'm not just sexually performing and doing things i don't actually want to do. it's awkward but it's real. but so is the confusion that comes with figuring out what's going on 😀

if you have/had similar struggles with sexuality, feel free to share

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u/schneeknd — 1 month ago
▲ 18 r/PMDD

symptoms even during period?

is it possible to have PMDD symptoms even during your period? or is it something else in that case?

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u/schneeknd — 2 months ago
▲ 8 r/depressionmeals

i just feel hopeless

it's sad because i felt like i was getting somewhere but now that i have PMS (or possible PMDD) i feel like shit about myself. i feel ugly and unfixable. i feel like it's impossible for me to find friends. i feel like i'll never find a job again. and it also makes me sad that i can't get a dog soon cause i'm sure it would help me immensely. and i was gonna get my driver's license but one instructor was lowkey emotionally abusive and it triggered me so hard that i now have to switch schools

the universe really wanted to nerf me so bad 💀 mental health issues, developmental disorders and a chronic illness weren't enough, i was also cursed with insanely debilitating hormonal shifts that make me wanna kms. ughhhh i think i might have to up my antidepressant dose again (with my psychiatrist's knowledge ofc)

u/schneeknd — 2 months ago