u/scottiegerigirl

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Delusional, calm, and understanding. Thinking you can "fix" this...

Why would you even want to? Why!? Why risk it all again? You aren't making life better. This is a gamble and the odds aren't great.

No one can be fixed form this.

He is with you because it is easier. It won't be easier on you either way.

He didn't stop because he wanted to. He did it because he got caught!

She has a dam holding back emotions because she is scared. This isn't worth it. You won't ever trust him.

Breaks my heart that we have women trying to stay in a marriage with gay men.

We are worth more that this! Way more than their cheap, desperate, hook-ups! Let them live in the excess and filth. They won't ever be happy.

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This might help someone?

I am glad people are noticing. I am not crazy! I see women speaking up more also. Thank god! This might be how our species goes out!

Some of this is wishful thinking!

The Jeffrey Star part was ridiculous! 🤣

Porn or sex addiction isn't beleived or mentioned.

Does anyone else hear of a man (or woman) cheating with the opposite sex and start to think, “At least it’s not with a man” (or woman)?

Due to how much you hear about “this thing we shall not speak of,” you start to put your own levels on people’s pain. When really, all infidelity can hurt people deeply, depending on the individuals involved and what they had invested in the relationship. Even though same-sex affairs can come with extra burdens, like shame and judgement from outsiders, it saddens me that this is affecting my empathy for people in all situations involving infidelity. I don’t want to just brush off people’s pain.

I watched the Netflix documentary The Pastor’s Wife. It featured Pastor JP Miller, who has been accused of cheating on and abusing his former wives. His father is also a pastor and has been accused of abusing young, vulnerable women and men. JP’s mother divorced his father after the wives of some of the men in the church reportedly came forward to discuss her husband’s alleged sexual propositions. He later divorced again after reportedly being caught with men in a bathhouse and allegedly soliciting a prostitute.

He seemed to be attracted to women, including young women, but reportedly cheated more often with men. Later in life, he went on a missionary trip to Pakistan for religious reasons, where some Pakistani men reportedly complained about him to the church. They allegedly asked that he not return because they did not feel safe around him. He has also been accused of abusing vulnerable underage members of his church years ago. I also read an allegation that he sexually abused his son.

When you hear how JP constantly preached that women should give their husbands sex, otherwise their husbands cheating would be their fault—or, as he put it, that the devil would place countless versions of lust in front of your husband to tempt him away if you did not tend to your man’s needs and give him your all—it shows how heavily sex seemed to feature in his thinking.

According to allegations made in his wife’s divorce filings, he also picked up homeless men to participate in threesomes or cuckolding encounters with his wife, who later died by suicide. If those allegations are accurate, it seems to fit with what I see as a wider preoccupation with sex. It is almost as though he thought he was missing out on some sexual secret and wanted to try everything.

I think people who constantly chase new sexual experiences can end up reinforcing that desire. My way of thinking about it is like exercising a muscle: the more you repeatedly feed a particular urge, the stronger the habit can become. The things we repeatedly do can create patterns, and those patterns can become harder to control. In JP’s case, I wonder whether repeatedly pursuing sexual stimulation strengthened that need until it became increasingly difficult for him to manage his impulses. I wonder whether his father struggled with similar patterns.

I haven’t heard any credible allegations about JP being involved with men himself. Maybe something will eventually emerge, or maybe it won’t. Either way, I don’t want to assume something about him without evidence.

All I could think about when hearing about his father reportedly cheating with men was, “No surprise!” Just another well-known man who has reportedly cheated with men to add to what feels like an ever-growing list.

All this is just to say that when I heard JP had allegedly cheated on his wife, Mica, I shamefully thought, “Well, at least it wasn’t what his mother dealt with, having to deal with her husband being with men publicly.”

I don’t like that my mind went there. Someone being betrayed by a partner is in pain regardless of who the affair was with. I don’t want hearing so many stories involving one particular kind of betrayal to make me start ranking other people’s pain.

Watch the whole interview.

He cheated with men whilst in relationships. He is still dealing with it.

It is informative and interesting to try and understand for us women.

The internet killed so many straight mens ability to find a romantic connection full time without them hurting someone.

This channel has more guys with stories like or similar to these also. It's interesting to see it becoming highlighted after seeing them lurking the internet for so long with no mention of them at all.

🤦🏼‍♀️

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I really felt for the girl. This may help people, in some way.

I am tired of these weirdos!

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THE SHEER AUDACITY OF HIM!

I am mad. 😡

Even her exes were into it. It's becoming viral.

Too many can't stand behind their own boundaries.

They have no integrity. No fulfilment in their lives.

Just read in the UK news papers that Love Island UK female contestant called AJ, had caught her boyfriend of 3 months doing gay for pay porn scenes!

I swear, I am going to keep a list of these people. I forgot the UK scammer who proposed to a girl and scammed and robbed her, who was also sleeping and scamming men also, just to rub salt in the wound. He had brought them back to their home to sleep with them when she was out and was with other women as well. She got a message to say what he was doing and then he ran. He had not gone further with anyone else who he slept with so him proposing and getting a home together was worse for her. I always forget her story as well. I wonder where the ugly, little, closet cased, scammer is now?

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I don't know if this helps anyone?

I'm just glad it's acknowledging that it is a new, common issue we still try to ignore.

Just sit with me in the silence.

Where we find no words left unsaid

Inside our home,

Where the lights are dimming.

Just hold me right here.

Allow ticking clocks and chimes

To become another part

Of our dusty floor.

Can we clasp our bodies together,

With nothing but the still air

Around our exhausted bodies,

Leaving no room for a whistle

Or a scream between us?

Just sit here in the silent days.

Turn our bodies around,

Lie face to face.

Allow me to see your pulsing veins,

Hear your beating heart,

And fold myself up

Into a letter,

So no more noise is heard.

Sending love letters through my body,

First class, on their way to you.

Read them in your quiet times.

Study my every move.

When we begin to dance,

We shall be each other's rhythm

Can you hear me through those walls,

So thick inside your head?

Just lie with me in the silence.

Say it all with love instead.

This is a sensitive one, and I would be grateful if we could be sensitive to the guy's stories.

Has anyone had/has a partner who was caught cheating with men and claimed he had been SA as a child or adult for the reasoning?

Does it affect your decision more to stay?

I just find it hard to understand.

Reason I am asking...

Just watched the Bay City Rollers documentary on their manager Tam Paton. He was convicted of abusing boys with his friends, including a gay radio 1 DJ, who told the band if they slept with him he would give them better publicity.

On another Celeb Rehab Show in 2009, Les, the lead singer, eventually came clean to his wife and son about his abuse and the reasons for his drinking being due to this abuse. He admitted to them that he was date raped at 17 by Mr Paton and was ashamed because he enjoyed it. On national television,sion he claimed he was enjoying having sex with men behind his wife's back, and wanted forgiveness from his wife and child. And because of the circumstances, he got the support from them. He humiliated her.

I was horrified for this woman. I just thought, what about her? Why is it about him right now when their whole relationship has always been about him?

We seem to normalise a woman having to stand by a man, no matter what. A woman's love and character are apparently measured by the number of times she looks the other way. We can get help for these men and also learn to have a backbone.

I also feel strongly about the need for more media light to be shone onto male sexual abuse. Guys need more information, prevention, support, and services, on the same level as girls get. I feel more upset as a woman for a man in these cases because I think the majority endure more. It's not fair that prevention, sympathy, and support are saved mostly for females.

I just can't find one bone inside me, though, that is sensitive to the men who cheat with men behind a woman's back. Especially when they tell them on national TV! Sorry Les, R.I.P!

I can’t tell you what has occurred.

I feel the sun has left me.

Now harpooned into a catatonic state.

What words could ever convey this?

Of course, I could use all the usual clichés—

The mind,

The soul,

The heart—

All in a blender others drink.

Only, this feels bigger than life.

Clocks have stopped in my room.

Time has diminished,

The world is stained and blurred,

All reactions and idiosyncrasies—

Gone.

My vision becomes blackened.

Now silence isn’t filling the air

Between all the pointless conversations,

Through tough exchanges and commitments.

Everything feels too sparse.

Now it’s wailing cries

And thumps upon the floor,

Bruised knees from begging the heavens,

My throat, scratched and hoarse, pleads

For you to find a map back to me.

If I scream loudly enough

To penetrate the realm’s barrier,

To let all the gods know

There is a black smudge on the world.

Crawling or dragged back home,

I’ll have you just as you are,

In any state,

In any condition.

Just allow me to straighten up this room,

To notice the small details in life,

To sweat only the small stuff once more,

To stop catastrophising.

I feel the oxygen leaking out

In this part-time paralysed condition,

Where darkness has a toothbrush.

No one can shoo this one away,

Or brush it into the locked closet.

People should not survive this.

Yet I stay strapped in my seat,

With my nerves losing electricity.

Tears short-circuit my life.

The oncoming waves tell me to jump.

Since you left,

The essence of me,

And all I want to be,

Now lies sleeping with you.

Where do you go at night,

when your dreams take a midnight flight

to a town that hides a house,

a house that shelters your love,

all beneath a watchful eye,

armoured behind the gates of memory?

You wish my skin belonged to someone

you had tasted once, without salt,

before you banked the fire in your heart,

when the blast from an oven door

fused you to someone

you never expected—

yet somehow, you embraced it.

I know you curse that spontaneity

since she cut your heartstrings

to string her violin,

wrapping your skin around her,

absorbing the frost beneath hers.

Now here I am beside you,

trying to keep you warm

beneath thin sheets,

on an old, creaking bed.

We feel every lump

through the tired mattress.

Still, I catch your eyes

finding her in every crowd.

I search for you

as an eagle searches the earth;

you look to her

as though she were a god.

We have never swum in clean water.

You fear she may wash away

what your senses cannot see.

She is only imaginary.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Va58WNUhZG

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zl4inhIR4H

I can’t tell you what has occurred.

I feel the sun has left me.

Now harpooned into a catatonic state.

What words could ever convey this?

Of course, I could use all the usual clichés—

The mind,

The soul,

The heart—

All in a blender others drink.

Only, this feels bigger than life.

Clocks have stopped in my room.

Time has diminished,

The world is stained and blurred,

All reactions and idiosyncrasies—

Gone.

My vision becomes blackened.

Now silence isn’t filling the air

Between all the pointless conversations,

Through tough exchanges and commitments.

Everything feels too sparse.

Now it’s wailing cries

And thumps upon the floor,

Bruised knees from begging the heavens,

My throat, scratched and hoarse, pleads

For you to find a map back to me.

If I scream loudly enough

To penetrate the realm’s barrier,

To let all the gods know

There is a black smudge on the world.

Crawling or dragged back home,

I’ll have you just as you are,

In any state,

In any condition.

Just allow me to straighten up this room,

To notice the small details in life,

To sweat only the small stuff once more,

To stop catastrophising.

I feel the oxygen leaking out

In this part-time paralysed condition,

Where darkness has a toothbrush.

No one can shoo this one away,

Or brush it into the locked closet.

People should not survive this.

Yet I stay strapped in my seat,

With my nerves losing electricity.

Tears short-circuit my life.

The oncoming waves tell me to jump.

Since you left,

The essence of me,

And all I want to be,

Now lies sleeping with you.

​

By the time he came out to her it was too late for her to be a mum. People forget we need time to heal, grieve, and trust again. Then to hope you meet someone and hope they want kids also. Some cultures have expectations also.

I wish her well. I hope she thrives.

I wish Ellie stood up for herself more. Stopped arse kissing. Her saying that stuff to Lorenzo when he voted her out was hard to watch. He is so manipulative. He is dead inside and only makes moves on what serves him best.

It feels like friend island. They just wanted there friends around. Ellie isn't allowed on the inside within the brunette crew! She can't see it.

Jasmine was manipulative with her votes. Forgets what Cavan was up to before.

They all have a short memory span knowing Cavan and Simba did the same thing.

The show feels disingenuous. It feels like they all have a plan to get to the final.

I don't want to watch the show.

Ellie they are not your friends! They just can't let another Scottish girl win the final. Some girls spotted her popularity i think.

So FU love island. It's just not the same show anymore..