u/scottmctominayfan

Hello everyone. These questions have been answered by a few people in DMs, and some of the answers might seem obvious, but as someone new to the concept of fearful avoidants, I wanted to ask about it in general. Thank you for your help.

1. Are feelings of being unwanted, fear of rejection, a lack of self-worth, and a sense of unworthiness typically present in fearful avoidant individuals?

2. Can the death of a parent at a very young age lead to someone being fearful avoidant? (Accompanied by several other traumas but are not related to parents)

3. Do fearful avoidant individuals initiate everything themselves at the very beginning of a relationship and form a very close bond, and then—at the point where that closeness peaks and things start to get serious—do they fear being abandoned (contributed to by feelings of unworthiness and being unwanted, if present) and end up leaving their partners themselves?

4. Do fearful-avoidant individuals truly believe in the scenarios they’ve created in their minds and act accordingly, or are they actually aware that their fear of abandonment might stem from their own minds but are unable to stop themselves? (Of course, this depends on how self-aware the individual is, but in my case, the person I was with told me two days before leaving that they “had been bottling everything up until it suddenly exploded, making impulsive decisions that destroyed everything, and then regretted it—knowing that this wasn’t healthy and that they needed support.”)

Hello, everyone. My girlfriend broke up with me very suddenly, saying she’d never felt so loved before, but that the relationship was making her feel bad. Everything was going great—it was getting better and better. Her reasoning was that she’d been the one to initiate all contact and arrange all our dates throughout the entire relationship. She put in all the effort. She has a point there, but she didn’t do all the work—maybe a little more than half. I’m a bit shy, while she’s more outgoing; that’s true. She also has childhood traumas. I’m not a psychologist, but after doing some research, I realized there’s a possibility she might be anxious or avoidant. Since psychologists prefer not to discuss matters involving third persons, I can’t get help from them. Is there anyone with experience in this area who could help me via DM? If I briefly summarize the whole process, is there anyone who could give me an idea about whether this girl is fearful-avoidant and what I should do? I really loved her and treated her very well. I was very romantic. We parted ways respectfully. I’d like to try my luck one last time, again in a respectful way. I’d be grateful to anyone who can help. Thanks in advance.

Hello, everyone. My girlfriend broke up with me very suddenly, saying she’d never felt so loved before, but that the relationship was making her feel bad. Everything was going great—it was getting better and better. Her reasoning was that she’d been the one to initiate all contact and arrange all our dates throughout the entire relationship. She put in all the effort. She has a point there, but she didn’t do all the work—maybe a little more than half. I’m a bit shy, while she’s more outgoing; that’s true. She also has childhood traumas. I’m not a psychologist, but after doing some research, I realized there’s a possibility she might be anxious or avoidant. Since psychologists prefer not to discuss matters involving third persons, I can’t get help from them. Is there anyone with experience in this area who could help me via DM? If I briefly summarize the whole process, is there anyone who could give me an idea about whether this girl is fearful-avoidant and what I should do? I really loved her and treated her very well. I was very romantic. We parted ways respectfully. I’d like to try my luck one last time, again in a respectful way. I’d be grateful to anyone who can help. Thanks in advance.

Hello, everyone. My girlfriend broke up with me very suddenly, saying she’d never felt so loved before, but that the relationship was making her feel bad. Everything was going great—it was getting better and better. Her reasoning was that she’d been the one to initiate all contact and arrange all our dates throughout the entire relationship. She put in all the effort. She has a point there, but she didn’t do all the work—maybe a little more than half. I’m a bit shy, while she’s more outgoing; that’s true. She also has childhood traumas. I’m not a psychologist, but after doing some research, I realized there’s a possibility she might be anxious or avoidant. Since psychologists prefer not to discuss matters involving third persons, I can’t get help from them. Is there anyone with experience in this area who could help me via DM? If I briefly summarize the whole process, is there anyone who could give me an idea about whether this girl is fearful-avoidant and what I should do? I really loved her and treated her very well. I was very romantic. We parted ways respectfully. I’d like to try my luck one last time, again in a respectful way. I’d be grateful to anyone who can help. Thanks in advance.