u/secretaccount6889

Hello, I am a 21 year old female, and since I was seven I knew I was Bisexual. And now that im grown and have tried sex and all that i don't enjoy it. It grosses me out so bad. I thought maybe I was just weird or not used to it but I've realized I just really don't like it. I want the romance and the love but not the sexual stuff. I knew about asexuality but didn't fully look into what all it meant. I also didn't think I could be asexual due to me being bisexual but now im thinking I don't have to identify as just one. I feel kind of alone and out of place. I just need people in my life who fully understand me and what im feeling.

⚠️Trigger warning talks about suicide a little bit.⚠️ Hello,this is a throw away account as im a little ashamed of myself. I dont know if this will even be approved for a post, i am asking for advice but it just seems a bit werid i guess. Please delete if not allowed. I am a 21 year old female and I don't like sex. I don't get the appeal at all and it's just uncomfortable for me. However I can't say no. I know that I could say no but my people pleasing is so bad is embarrassing. I had sex with a man last night and it was so horrible. I cried when I went to the bathroom and now I can't sleep because I feel disgusting. I hate myself so much because I can't bring myself to say no to people. I want to start therapy for it but honestly don't even know if it will help. I can't even tell people im not interested to their face I always just send a text. I feel like the most disgusting human and I just wanna rub my skin raw with soap and water. He was fine, he's actually super funny but I don't want the same relationship he wants. I only want love I don't want sex unless its to have kids one day. But I feel like no man will love me unless I give them sex. I don't even like oral sex it's so gross to me and makes me want to throw up. I don't know what to do. I wanna just die because it feels like it will be easier but I can't break my mom and brothers hearts like that. They don't even know I struggle with depression and suicidal tendencies. I've tried to kill myself multiple times and they have no clue. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just be like everyone else? Is there something wrong with me? Or am I really not alone in this.

⚠️Trigger warning talks about suicide a little bit.⚠️ Hello,this is a throw away account as im a little ashamed of myself. I dont know if this will even be approved for a post, i am asking for advice but it just seems a bit werid i guess. Please delete if not allowed. I am a 21 year old female and I don't like sex. I don't get the appeal at all and it's just uncomfortable for me. However I can't say no. I know that I could say no but my people pleasing is so bad is embarrassing. I had sex with a man last night and it was so horrible. I cried when I went to the bathroom and now I can't sleep because I feel disgusting. I hate myself so much because I can't bring myself to say no to people. I want to start therapy for it but honestly don't even know if it will help. I can't even tell people im not interested to their face I always just send a text. I feel like the most disgusting human and I just wanna rub my skin raw with soap and water. He was fine, he's actually super funny but I don't want the same relationship he wants. I only want love I don't want sex unless its to have kids one day. But I feel like no man will love me unless I give them sex. I don't even like oral sex it's so gross to me and makes me want to throw up. I don't know what to do. I wanna just die because it feels like it will be easier but I can't break my mom and brothers hearts like that. They don't even know I struggle with depression and suicidal tendencies. I've tried to kill myself multiple times and they have no clue. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just be like everyone else? Is there something wrong with me? Or am I really not alone in this.