u/sephoneslight

So, Ive just finished the show and wow, my head still hurts, but what a wonderful journey. It's such and exanple of GOOD WRITING.

Still, it bothers me that there are a few things from Season1 I was expenting to get back to but never did and now, after watchibg the ending, I think they may point to "Superior/OG Maddie". So, I'll share my thoughts.

For example, at the beggining of everthing, when someone texted Maddie to help her with her dad, they talked to her about Caspian and warned her that he was being watched.

That was supposed to be Laurie, but we saw after a few episodes that she didnt recall doing that. Another time the same happens is when "Laurie" texted Chanda's mother, making him paranoid and forcing the first encounter, in which Caspian runs. She didnt remembered doing that, either. The show moved from it as if it was a future mistery, or something Laurie "forgot" because of the flaw, but Im pretty positive there's more to it.

Also, they hinted that Laurie was not the first human to be uploaded (the... Creepy ghosts that found and helped Chanda, they had to came from someone, but we never figured out who. Also, Laurie saying "im the first ui that I KNOW of" (that's for sure a writting choice).

Sooo... Who was THE first? What happened to them? One could believe it was meant to be Holstrom, but he justs uploaded his brain once Caspian cracked integrity, so he would be "fresh" and not deteriorated. So.... Who the hell was this first person?

Was the show aiming for a different, slower season 2 that never came? Did they changed their mind about Holstrom being their first update? Was I too dumb to understand? 😂 Or do you think it was "og" Maddie all slong? Overwatching the simulation while interferring...? It would be amazingly writen if so.

Hola, buenas! Soy una mujer de 30 años que actualmente trabaja de administrativa 6h al día por 900€ netos 😅

La verdad es que me gustaría cambiar de sector, pero la incertidumbre y los altos costes de cualquier curso me paralizan.

(Reescribo porque Reddit me ha borrado todo 😭)

El caso es que yo estudié periodismo, pero debido a mi ansiedad y lo mal que está el sector, no llegué a ejercer. Estudié entonces un máster en políticas públicas y me mudé a Escocia al no encontrar trabajo. No estaba mal, me gustaba... Pero entonces estalló la pandemia y todo se fue al garete.

Me vi obligada a volver a España de lo mal que se puso allí todo. Una vez aquí, tan dolo encontré trabajo como comercial operadora, y lo que empezó siendo algo pasajero acabó consumiendo 4 años de mi vida. Así nos metemos en 2024 ya a lo tonto.

Entonces lo dejé para probar otras cosas. Trabajé en turismo y me encantó, pero los contratos eran estacionales y temporales. Costaba mucho organizarse la vida así y aunque algunos meses ganara bien, otros ni trabaja. Pensé estudiar una fp de turismo, pero me desanimaron diciendo que se paga mal, que las agencias de viajes están cerrando y que como guía turística no tendría vida.

A mí me encanta viajar y estar al aire libre, pero también tener estabilidad y más o menos algo de rutina, o un trabajo que me permita tener amigos y pareja algún día.

Después probé un curso de desarrollo web (css, html, javascript). No me desagradó, aunque es verdad que no tenía el dinero para pagar los bootcamps y que ya en 2024 la gente decía que había explotado la burbuja y no se contrataba a más juniors, sobre todo si no tenían experiencia o carrera.

Lo dejé y me metí a administrativa, donde trabajo ahora, pero la mayoría de sitios contratan a 6h con un salario irrisorio o piden estudios contables y en economía para acceder a puestos algo mejor como contabilidad o administración con más responsabilidades.

Intenté también opositar mientras trabajo, pero a los 3 meseslo tuve que dejar porque vi que no descansaba y me estaba pasando factura. A todo esto, hay que tener en cuenta que he sido diagnosticada de tdah y autismo, además de ansiedad crónica, por lo que hay etapas de mi vida dinde necesito descansar porque mi cabeza no puede tirar más del carro. He pedido la discapacidad pero bueno, aunque me la den dudo que ayude mucho.

Ahora mismo pensé en dos vertientes a futuro: estudiar un curso privado en mamíferos marinos y en conducción de barcos y tratar de vivir de trabajos marinos (me encanta el mar y quiero volver a vivir en la costa). O estudiar unos cursos en farmacia para ser visitadora médica.

De este último trabajo me han hablado muy bien, ya que hablan de la estabilidad y de las grandes pagas ( 24.000€ al año al empezar y subiendo). Es verdad que al tener estudios en marketing y comunicación y años de experiencia como comercial tengo buen perfil, pero obviamente tengo que invertir tiempo y dinero en complementar con estudios sanitarios y después tener suerte y mover muchísimo el culo a ver si consigo que alguien me de una primera oportunidad. Lo que me aterra de esto es que muchas personas me han dicho que es un trabajo altamente demandante, con mucho estrés y muchas más horas de las que oficialmente te dicen. La verdad es que un trabajo con este salario me permitiría empezar a ahorrar y tener la tranquilidad de que nunca me va a faltar comida, pero tampoco sé hasta qué punto voy a ser capaz de soportar tanta presión como dicen a largo plazo 🫩

El caso es que todo lleva una inversión enorme de tiempo y dinero que no tengo, porque como ya he dicho, ni tengo ahorros ni familia que pueda ayudarme, entonces me aterra gastarme 1000€ o 5000€ en estudios cursos y carnets y que luego no sirvan de nada. Me frustra que el estado no de más becas porque siento que necesito pagar para tener la oportunidad de mejorar mi futuro y cobrar mejor... Vamos un negocio.

Lo peor es que no puedo dejar de trabajar porque entonces ni como ni tengo donde vivir, ya que dependo del alquiler donde estoy ahora, que es bastante económico. Si lo perdiese, no sé q dónde iría, apenas me puedo pagar una habitación entre 5 y da gracias. Me da rabia que otras personas que conozco heredan casas gratis o viven con sus padres y se toman todo el tiempo del mundo en buscar lo que quieren, mientras que yo llevo 10 años tirando mis ahorros en alquileres. Necesito algo que me de estabilidad a largo plazo y los ingresos suficientes para mantenerme sola, cuidarme si me pasa algo y tener una casa algún día si puede ser (aunque este es otro melón...).

No sé qué más hacer. No quiero seguir paralizada porque el tiempo pasa y sigo acumulando experiencia de aux admin, secretaria, comercial, dependienta... De verdad que yo era una de esas niñas súperdotadas y ahora siento que al venir de familia pobre me cuesta todo un mundo y nunca voy a poder salir de esta burbuja ni vivir tranquila.

Sé que es mucha información pero quería saber qué opciones laborales tengo, ya que el sepe no sabe ayudar y no sé dónde más preguntar para orientarme :(

Muchas gracias 🫂

Hi, so... Idk, I've never posted here before. Hi.

So, I've realized I've spent most of my life (20 out of 30 years) severly traumatized, desling with depression, anxiety and executive disfunction. Because of this, I just followed what adults told me, study a career I didn't like, had shitty jobs to keep myself alive and so. For more information, my parents are not only both divorced and broke, they don't help me at all, never had taken care or me and even caused most of my ptsd.

So now I'm... Left with nothing. Since I'm an adult, I'm supposed to be independent, to be able to take care of myself. To have money, a job, friends, life kinda figure it out. But because of my ptsd and wasted years of wrong therapy, I can't barely mantaing friendships nor myself. Ive never been taken care of and now everybody tells me i should do it myself. Well... thanks.

So, the thing is that I've recently got dyagnosed as adhd and autistic, which explains most of my life, but im so mad and sad that it took 30 years of my only life to someone to look at me and know what is going on, 30 years to start recieving the help that I needed growing up. Now im upset and tired and I dont wanted. Ice tried everything. Ifs, emdr, med... Im just tired. I have a shitty job I cannot leave because I have no money. I cant study again because im extremely damaged and tired from years of burnout and depressions. I don't have a family to support me or a home to come back to.

So, my question is...... What's the point? Love? I love the ocean and the forest and the stars, but I can't even contemplate them because im busy working on an awful capital city. My friends just want to hang out in the good times, but arent there for me to be vulnerable, or show me love. Sometimes I think its my fault, that im victimizing myself. Ive suffered a lot of abuse too and sometimes I dont know Im still being abused or I just... I just ask for too much...

Im broke. Im tired. And going to therapy (which im already doing) is still not enough because I have to spend A LOT of time and money just to.... Get to the starting point of healthy neurotipical people? So, 30 years wasted being neglected and depressed, and now what? Another 10 going to therapy? Just to MAYBE accept my life and get okay with it at 40? And then what? Work 20 more and then retire, old and dependent??

Sorry I know it sounds whinning and that are people suffering more....im just..... So tired of not having a life. I don't even know what ill do kow if i were free. Maybe just travel. Maybe just listening to the sea. I feel like I was born to connect with the world, to love it, and to help people as well but..... Im so scared of everything. Of living. Of loving. Of people. Of being homeless. Ofnot habing any support group. Or maybe its just me, it alwas was. Im scared I wasted my only life in paralysis, doing nothing but shake and cry....

I don't know if I can keep up or this frenethic ruthm of strong working functional people will devour me, and ill have to exit life. My therapist says... It will get better, but that the trauma never fully leaves, and spent years dont come back. So.....why......why keep trying.

Thank you.

Hi, so... Idk, I've never posted here before. Hi.

So, I've realized I've spent most of my life (20 out of 30 years) severly traumatized, desling with depression, anxiety and executive disfunction. Because of this, I just followed what adults told me, study a career I didn't like, had shitty jobs to keep myself alive and so. For more information, my parents are not only both divorced and broke, they don't help me at all, never had taken care or me and even caused most of my ptsd.

So now I'm... Left with nothing. Since I'm an adult, I'm supposed to have money, a job, friends, life kinda digire it out. But because of my ptsd and wastes therapists, I can't barely mantaing friendships, neither do I have savig.

So, the thing is that I've recently got dyagnosed as adhd and autistic, which explains most of my life, but im so mad and sad that it took 30 years of my only life to someone to look at me and know what is going on, 30 years to start recieving the help that I needed growing up. Now im upset and tired and I dont wanted. Ice tried everything. Ifs, emdr, med... Im just tired. I have a shitty job I cannot leave because I have no money. I cant study again because im extremely damaged and tired from years of burnout and depressions. I don't have a family to support me or a home to come back to.

So, my question is...... What's the point? Love? I love the ocean and the forest and the stars, but I can't even contemplate them because im busy working on an awful capital city. My friends just want to hang out in the good times, but arent there for me to be vulnerable, or show me love. Sometimes I think its my fault, that im victimizing myself. Ive suffered a lot of abuse too and sometimes I dont know Im still being abused or I just... I just ask for too much...

Im broke. Im tired. And going to therapy (which im already doing) is still not enough because I have to spend A LOT of time and money just to.... Get to the starting point of healthy neurotipical people? So, 30 years wasted being neglected and depressed, and now what? Another 10 going to therapy? Just to MAYBE accept my life and get okay with it at 40? And then what? Work 20 more and then retire, old and dependent??

Sorry I know it sounds whinning and that are people suffering more....im just..... So tired of not having a life. I don't even know what ill do kow if i were free. Maybe just travel. Maybe just listening to the sea. I feel like I was born to connect with the world, to love it, and to help people as well but..... Im so scared of everything. Of living. Of loving. Of people. Of being homeless. Ofnot habing any support group. Or maybe its just me, it alwas was. Im scared I wasted my only life in paralysis, doing nothing but shake and cry....

I don't know if I can keep up or this frenethic ruthm of strong working functional people will devour me, and ill have to exit life. My therapist says... It will get better, but that the trauma never fully leaves, and spent years dont come back. So.....why......why keep trying.

Thank you.