Sperm donation
My partner and I are long term foster carers and the kids we look after have a complicated family with several siblings, half siblings, foster siblings etc. Recently we were approached by a friend to be a sperm donor. We are ok with the idea and would like to help her, but I’m a bit unsure about whether it will be an issue for our foster kids (eldest is 6).
As a principle we would like to be open and make sure everyone is aware of things so there are no secrets to come out later on. I think we can explain it to our foster kids in terms of “we wanted to help X have a baby, but that doesn’t mean that we are their parents and it doesn’t change how we feel about you”. But I do worry that they might feel rejected or competed with somehow and want to make sure we are taking their (potential) feelings into account.
I guess the obvious thing to do is ask them, but I think it will take a while to process and get a clear answer, and they’re likely to disclose it to others which would be problematic.
Any thoughts, foster homies?