Being adopted by an outdoor cat, feeling guilty
I’m not sure if this is the correct flair, just looking for some general advice, sorry for the long post.
I have lived in a flat for 3 years with my sister. Since the day we moved in, the cat from upstairs has treated my front courtyard as a second home (it’s not gated) and sleeps on my chair on a daily basis. It’s gotten to the point where if we didn’t see him for 24 hours we would be seriously concerned.
For 1.5 of those years I had a dearly loved elderly cat who passed away. They saw each other through the security door occasionally and weren’t going to get along, but when he wasn’t sleeping on the chair outside this cat would be sitting at my front door waiting for me to let him in which I couldn’t - until I didn’t have a cat anymore.
Fast forward to now - the door is usually left ajar for him, but there’s a bell on it that he rings to be let in. If he doesn’t ring the bell, he meows and scratches and shakes the metal door until we open it, sometimes 10+ times a day. He spends at least a few hours cumulatively at our house every night, and sometimes sleeps beside me on the couch or at the end of my bed for an hour at a time. We do feed him here and there but not too much because he started getting fat. He has also gotten territorial when I have pet sit (tried to take on a large staffy) and gets in fights with other cats a lot so I grab him and lock him in my place until things cool down.
The owner knows we hang out with her cat and we are moving out in a few days. I told her and offered to take her cat if she ever moved away or couldn’t take care of him for some reason. She told me she was thinking of moving to Adelaide (I’m in Sydney) with a friend and wouldn’t be able to take him, and she seemed a bit insistent on us taking him so I said I’d drop past and we would have a chat before I go.
The cat is a ridiculous looking but incredibly handsome Selkirk Rex, he is very friendly and often demands pats, lots of submissive rolling, purrs on sight and we have developed a close bond. He meows at my bedroom door sometimes when I am not home. He loves playing with bottle caps and small things on the ground inside and outside. When I approach him on his chair when I get home he meows at me and shows me his belly. I think he is around 10 years old.
He is also a bit feral at heart - very territorial, he swats/scratches/hisses when pet the wrong way which is not often anymore now that we know how he likes it, HATES being held but doesn’t scratch or resist initially, dislikes being inside involuntarily, and doesn’t like laps or climbing over people.
He is pretty independent and spends loads of time outside, under cars, and in the rainwater drains. He loves the sun and isn’t afraid of the rain either. I’m very worried that if I take him he will enter a deep depression due to the drastic lifestyle change. I’m moving to a 90sqm apartment with high ceilings and floor to ceiling windows, but not much of a view and limited direct sunlight. I would obviously purchase a million toys and scratch boards and sensory things and he’s hilarious to play with so no problems there.
I’m also conscious that the alternative is him either being left alone/surrendered and potentially not adopted because he is older, kinda weird (I love him) and respectfully funny looking. I feel like I understand him, care for him deeply and also I feel a long life indoors is better than a short one outdoors.
Any advice welcome, photos will be left in the comments.
Thank you!