u/sickpsychopathicfuck

So yesterday, 3 of us girls (21–30s) were randomly talking in our office pantry when another guy coworker (M25–28) walked in to have some tea. Since we were kind of running out of topics, one girl asked him, “What’s your most controversial opinion?”

After thinking for about a minute, he goes:
“I feel like therapy is a scam. Why do people even need therapy?”

And we were all like… huh?

There are SO many reasons someone might need therapy. Maybe they’re recovering from trauma, maybe they’re depressed, maybe they feel unheard, lonely, overwhelmed, or maybe they just want to understand themselves better. Whether the therapy culture/industry in India is ethical or accessible is a completely different discussion, but if someone wants therapy, why is that anyone else’s business? Why judge people for wanting help?

Anyway.

After around 5 minutes of this therapy discussion, another female coworker joined us in the pantry. She overheard us and then casually called him out:

“Oh didn’t you say the other day that you don’t understand why women’s day is still celebrated? That it’s unfair women get chocolates but men don’t even get appreciation?”

At that point we were like, yeah… now we know who actually needs therapy here.

So naturally, I wanted to understand why HE thought Women’s Day shouldn’t be celebrated.

I asked him:
“Why?, why do you think we shouldn’t celebrate Women’s Day?”

And then this conversation happened:

Me: Do you know how many women die giving birth?
Male coworker: But we have Mother’s Day for that, why do you need a separate Women’s Day?

Like… I mean??? Women deserve respect and recognition beyond just being mothers. Why should womanhood only matter after motherhood?

Me: Do you know the condition of little girls and women in Afghanistan? Do you know women all around the world are literally dying because they can’t access abortions even in severe cases?
Male coworker: Yeah, so go to Afghanistan and fight for them, India doesn't allow this anyway...

????

Like how dumb do you have to be to think empathy should stop at borders?

Me: Why do you think I should go to Afghanistan and fight for those women?
Male coworker: But don’t you think you are privileged and still want to cry about these issues? What are you doing for them anyway?

And THIS is where I got annoyed.

First of all, no. Equal access to education and jobs is not a “privilege.” That is literally basic human right.

We do not get paid extra because we are women. We do not get fewer working hours. We do not get easier lives. And I’m genuinely tired of men complaining about that one women’s compartment in the metro, those few reserved seats in buses, or the women-only compartments in local trains as if that is some massive unfair advantage.

That is not privilege. That is the bare minimum safety arrangement we had to create because women still do not feel safe enough in public spaces.

Me: Why do you think I’m privileged? Women had to fight to get education. We had to fight to get jobs. So many women still work the same roles yet get paid less. Women had to fight against practices like Sati. Why is our history not enough proof that Women’s Day matters?

Male coworker: But all this is the past right. Now all these things don't happen around us.

I genuinely stared at him.

Me: Are you serious? Just because something happened in the past, we should stop acknowledging it? And who even said it is all over?

Your lack of awareness about things happening around you is actually a privilege. Ignorance is privilege.

Male coworker: Can I leave now if your interrogation is over?
Me: Yes, please leave. Your opinions were trash anyway.

And honestly, I’ve been replaying this conversation in my head since yesterday.

I keep thinking maybe I should have said more, maybe I should have pointed out more things. But then I also wonder if men like this would even get the point.

Just because some women are living better lives than before does not mean sexism, violence, or inequality magically disappeared.

Even today:

• Female Genital Mutilation is still practised in some states of India especially Kerala and Gujarat - https://www.fgmcri.org/country/india/
• Tribal women in Maharashtra’s sugarcane industry have reportedly been forced to get hysterectomies so they don’t get pregnant “miss work” - https://www.britsafe.in/safety-management-news/2025/a-bitter-harvest-female-sugarcane-workers-pushed-into-having-hysterectomies
• Women still face harassment, bias, and discrimination at workplaces simply because of gender - https://www.epw.in/engage/article/why-laws-are-not-enough-deal-sexual-harassment
• Mentrual taboo still prevails everywhere in India and period shame is another big issue amongst a majority of us - https://www.ujaas.in/blogs/breaking-down-menstrual-taboo
• Safety, bodily autonomy, reproductive rights, equal pay, and dignity are STILL conversations.
• And don't even get me started on domestic violence and marital rape.

There are multiple reasons why Women’s Day and feminism still matter. And if you have the privilege of not being personally affected by these problems, at the very least be empathetic enough to stop asking, “But why do we need Women’s Day?”

There’s a new hire in our office (30s, married woman) and I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this mindset is exhausting.

Over the last week, she’s repeatedly talked about how she wakes up at 5 AM, showers, cooks lunch for herself and her husband, cleans, manages housework, and if the maid is off, she handles everything alone. Meanwhile, her husband wakes up later, goes to work, and occasionally “helps” by making chaas.

At first, we thought okay, maybe that’s just their arrangement.

But then whenever we asked things like, “Why doesn’t your husband share the load if you both work?” she’d say things like:

• “He doesn’t know how to cook.”
• “It doesn’t feel right making him do housework.”
• "He never had to do anything like this in his childhood so it feels wrong to ask him to do it now."
• “Girls are brought up knowing their responsibility as wives.”
• “Once you get married, you’ll understand.”

That’s where it started getting frustrating.

For context: one of my married coworkers said she and her husband split responsibilities. Some of us unmarried women said the same thing we’d want in marriage - partnership, not parenting a grown man after a 9-10 hour workday.

What threw me off wasn’t that she chooses to do more at home. Every couple can divide labor however they want.

What bothered me was the idea that housework is automatically a wife’s responsibility, and husbands “helping” is optional.

If both partners work, why is one person expected to carry the physical + mental load alone? And chances are, if you ask your partner for help, he will actually help you. You don't have to do everything on your own. You married him to be his wife, and not mother and maid.

It’s 2026. If a traditional setup works for someone, fine. But I really don’t understand glorifying burnout and calling it “wife duties.”

Am I being too harsh, or would this mindset annoy you too? This Coworker is a CA btw.

(Refined the text with ChatGPT)