u/silverlinin

I'm genuinely curious because I have BP and ADHD and find it hard to decipher what phase I am in. To make it even more difficult, I have no internal monologue i.e. I don't get the chatter and self-talk in my mind. My mind is goes imagery or just empty. My mind has never 'raced', it gets 'active' but I wouldn't call it racing. I'm a slow learner; I process information slowly so I can't comprehend for my mind to be 'racing'

People with ADHD described after taking ADHD meds that their mind becomes quiet and it's not chaotic.

Need advice. It can be anything that becomes triggering in life. For me, relationships, academic.

I read that being sensitive is one factor for why I got hit with a lot of mental health conditions.

One way to manage is practicing mindfulness. Another in the moment is what you say to yourself...

What would you guys say? Examples?

You guys might like to look into this med and ask your psychiatrist whether you could try it. It worked for me for about half a year until I became depressed and lost its effectiveness. Now I'm trying to get back from depression and it's taking awhile.

In the meantime, when I was on galantamine, I was like wow, I was crying. This is what it's like to concentrate. I wasn't stressed. I was also very organsied. I don't know what else to say but my friends said that I don't look stressed anymore and am like a normal person.

I was able to finally listen to podcast, to engage in long conversations. It felt really good.

What is the point in life, when you are just a space cadet staring in class. When coworkers ask for help but you don't know what to do. You freeze, stones

I'm contemplating what career choices there are.

I am nothing without my brain, my thinking. But in a world where you require concentration.

I try to attend classes at college but am met with work where I just can't concentrate. Teamwork, reading in class where it's noisy but that's the expected environment in work where collaboration is encouraged.

I don't want to be packing boxes. I feel like my intellect will go to waste. But then I can't even use my intellect.

This dilemma. Going through all this lowers my self esteem.

I hurt people's feelings I most care about. The people I'm most closest to. WHY!!!?

Do many people on Lamotrigine but for those who CANNOT be on it besides because of Stevens John, what are you in instead?

I feel so dumb on it. My vocabulary decreased, I speak English like it's a second language *CRIES*, my memory almost non-existent, problems reading.

I'm looking for alternatives.

Literature says that lamotrigine is cognitive neutral but I feel like the papers are biased or missing something there.

Appreciate your views

Have practically tried EVERYTHING, from stimulants to non-stimulants. Even from off-labels like memantine and galantamine (you probably haven't heard of).

Nothing works longstanding.

For me, I put attention as highest priority over other components of my life. It is that severe!

What is there to life, if you cannot pay attention. You are a space cadet. For my entire 3 decades, I just staring when the person starts talking more than a sentence.

I feel a little tired.

Do you guys too?

I use my Garmin watch for my exercises and the Fitbit Air for walks and sleep. The Performance Band is already pretty good. As their phrase says, "It's so lightweight, you don't feel it's there".

I am currently prescribed temazepam on an as needed basis for sleep but I am seeing people here taking gabapentin for sleep. I am wondering whether gabapentin is better than the benzos. NOTE: gabapentin DOES NOT work on the gaba receptors even though the name has the word gaba in it. It works differently to calm your body to sleep.

My pdoc is concerned gabapentin may make me foggy when I wake up or throughout the day and I am wondering if you experience that. Or any cognitive issues.

I was part of the social skills group for people with autism. There are a couple of things I have noted from the group.

I don't feel like anxiety is the main problem in conversations with autism, but solely conversations. 

I initially came to the group in the hope of learning how to make friends and have conversations. It was something I struggled in.

The second last session I was taught to ask something about the person by paraphrasing; saying something related and staying on the topic of their interest. I had trouble with this, and was given the homework of talking with my younger brother instead and ask things that I could learnt about him. I assumed it would be easy.

Yet, I still struggled with the homework. That whole week, I struggled to have conversations with my brother in a way where I could learn stuff about him. It made me realised that I don't know much about my brother and I felt sad about this. It made me realised that I practically don't know much about my family. I feel sad that I don't know my mum well, my dad well. I'd like to ask my mum how she is going, how she is feeling? I'd like to ask my brother how he is going with uni, how's work, how's things? I feel sad because I don't know how to, that conversation is not intuitive. 

It's not simply like asking "what's your favourite colour?" "How was your day?" but it's the conversing back and forth that you could learn about them. They taught us the beach idea i.e. sand, umbrella, water...but to translate that into conversation is just not intuitive. 

It's not as easy as people would think. It is something that people have taken for granted. 

I feel sad sitting across the table at dinner not knowing much about my mum and brother. Seeing them everyday and not knowing them brings me to tears.

My pdoc won't let me get on unless my depression is fixed. ADHD meds is like a make or break in life. You go from failing to getting As. From procrastinating your whole life to being independent for once.

I'm such a space cadet but I can't get on it.

Despite recording for more than 7 days, my heart rate was measured during my sleep which means it was snug fit during sleep, I have always been sleeping for more than 3 hours of quality sleep and despite that the daily readiness didn't show today. Checked all criteria. It's happened a couple of times intermittently.

Has anyone experienced this?

I know antidepressants may cause mania.

I'm wondering whether a particular antidepressant makes any difference for you compared to another.

Care to tell?

I'm currently on sertraline and I want to propose my pdoc whether I can switch to velenfaxine because it is more pro-cognitive. My depression comes with cognitive dysfunction, where I lose the ability to talk.

I speak well when stable and even better when hypomania. But when I'm depressed, I lose my ability to articulate.

It feels like it's gone back to kindergarten grade. I can't find the right words.

I am unsure if it's due to medications as well.

If I take little dose of this, then there will be problems with my mood but cognition will be okay, if the dose increases, my memory will be impaired.

Is that you?

I've been struggling to find the middle ground. I used to do well academically but am struggline to get back. Have been going back and forth many times. There are no jobs that doesn't require thinking skills.

Medications that are used as off-label, that aren't first line treatments, that have showed on literature to have limited efficacy, how did you get prescribed and worked? Medications that you don't commonly hear like lamtrogine and lithium.

My psychiatrist is adamant on prescribing medications that have little to no improvements.

I'm planning to work in corporate. Still studying and not fully stable. I hope I will be.

My fear is that our condition is something we shouldn't disclose. But my fear is that they may eventually find out as you go through your highs and lows. What happens then?

What are people's experiences with depakote? Aka valproic acid/sodium valproate.

I went on it and it helped me heaps. The lithium and lamotrigine combination wasn't fully helping me effectively as I continued arguing, irritated, angry, cutting myself, emotional. Until I had sodium valproate I felt immensely calm. I got along with my family and relationships, I was happier, my mind suddenly felt indescribably peaceful. For once there wasn't any internal tension, overactivation, or noise in my head. My mind doesn't race but just activated. It came at a cost of severe memory impairments. Like I kept forgetting if I brushed my teeth, items, things I've read etc. I am wondering if anyone experienced this and found an alternative solution, whether lower dose helped or another med. I am thinking that way or wanting to go on oxcarbazepinene. I don't know if that's lighter for memory.