u/sirdidymus__

I know this is not a unique experience, but I’m feeling so sad about it this week. It’s like they’re living in an alternate reality. I love them so much and I was not raised this way. They were moderate Republicans. I’m not excusing their continued support — but it’s really like cult brainwashing. It reminds me of Kalabar in Halloweentown when all the neighbors start disappearing.

My dad is quieter about it and still questions things and is more moderate, but my mom is full in. When he won the election, I literally thought to myself, “Well if a single good thing can come out of this nightmare, maybe winning the election will help them calm down enough to be able to look at things for what they are and snap out of it.”

Nope! Every conversation somehow loops back to politics in a way that should win an Olympic medal. Every single time I vaccinate my child, it’s a fight. There aren’t even any more vaccines in the schedule for a few years and I still get articles, etc. I’ve been randomly yelled at over the phone in the middle of the day for the most benign political posts to the point where I block my family from seeing those.

I can also see that it is completely decimating their mental health — increased paranoia, extremely negative about every little thing, hair trigger outrage. I feel like they are not present with me at all and maybe process like 20% of what I’m saying.

I pretty much never bring it up and still they bring it up constantly. I am so exhausted by it. And anytime I finally snap and say something — Olympic level gymnastics. And anytime I feel like they’re starting to question something they just go down a hole on YouTube and Substack and whatever dark web cave of horrors they can find to explain it away. “Don’t vote for her, she’ll draft your brother and send him to Iran!” “Oh, well, you see—“

I know people are probably going to say to go no-contact. I have basically gradually implemented an information diet, which I could be better about, but I am trying to be better about. I reduce contact based on current behavior because we still are able to have fun sometimes or normal conversations sometimes — though I feel like with each passing month it seems to be getting worse, which is never what I thought would happen at this point. Anyway, I’m just sad. Would appreciate comments from people who are similarly dealing with this and still trying to navigate as much of a relationship as they can have with their parents.

I have not. I’m planning on waiting until like Day ~75 after I hear from them just in case there are developments (and also to delay needing to make payments again as long as possible…).

There is someone at work in another department who I was initially pleased to be working with as she had just come back from maternity leave, and at the time my son was under 2 — I was like oh we’re both in the “working in corporate with babies and toddlers” club, cool!

A year later and this girl chases me. Constantly. Constantly messaging me in Teams. E-mailing me. Putting meetings on my calendar. Also (with the occasional rare moment of warmth) seems to not like me very much. There is this accusing tone with everything. Expects me to get everything done yesterday. Openly frustrated when her proposed deadlines are not possible (perhaps most bafflingly, even when her own managers seem unbothered).

My managers are aware but there’s nothing we can even really do because like—it’s really just an etiquette thing? I have thought about gently trying to tell her that the capacity I work with her in really only amounts to roughly a third of my job responsibilities. I would say we have similar seniority levels. Also I am well-loved by my own team and I know I don’t have any actual performance issues — I am not as sharp as I was before having my son and operating on like no sleep for years but I am frequently praised for my work.

Really why I feel annoyed is like — aren’t we all on the same page after having kids that we can want to do a good job and have goals and aspirations outside of motherhood, but at the end of the day, a job is a job? Like it’s not something to be rude to other people over? Idk I thought our generation of working moms had a secret solidarity club!

I have metabolically mild PMOS with cystic ovaries but regular ovulation (albeit long cycles). Everything on paper is fine for both my husband and I, zero indication why we are having an issue having a second baby. We’re at the 1.5 yr mark of trying. This was my second cycle of letrozole.

We are going to probably do at least 3 more cycles of letrozole after this (the thought is to forcibly shorten my cycles to make planning easier and also get things internally to line up better). The next step would be IUI, but I don’t mind trying the letrozole for awhile.

For moms who came out on the other side of this with similar background — any theories about what the problem ended up being?

You may read this and be like “touch grass.” I know. I am fully self aware of how silly this question is. But this is a question for the girliepops and I have no one else in my life to deliberate this with so—

I am a writer. I am in the home stretch of my debut novel. On the one hand, I feel like the term “fantasy romance” is helpful, because it does indicate a more romance-centered fantasy novel. However, many fantasy novels written by men have central romances — but they’re never labeled “romantasy.” I will also jokingly refer to my book as “faerie smut” — but honestly I’m disturbed increasingly by the fact that so many books that have maybe 2.5 sex scenes (over the course of 400+ pages) are dubbed “smut” just because they’re written by women. My own book includes explicit spice, but only a handful of scenes.

Here is the absolutely ridiculous question—I love the LL Bean tote bag trend with the ironic embroidery and the charms and whatever. I want one for my laptop when I go write out of the house.

Is “fairy smut” (not enough characters for faerie) ironic and funny, or is it hypocritical and billboarding the subjugation of female fantasy authors 😂😂

Honestly — we are so fragmented on the left. I regularly comment on posts and articles online just to be absolutely chewed out by…other liberals. And I am very progressive — like OG Bernie Sanders supporter, pro-universal healthcare, cancel student debt, Free Palestine, close Dilley, abolish ICE, etc. The works. And yet no one is nastier to me online than people who I literally agree with??? I fear if we can’t stop tearing each other down like this over ??? (by way of example, someone said I shouldn’t have had my son because “there are enough people in the world” — newsflash, that’s not a feminist opinion) — we’re cooked.

And we’re cooked not only because we can’t even unite on the left — but also because, I know people don’t want to hear this — we need an open discourse in the country and we need to convince former Republicans and centrists to come to the left. We need to allow for growth. We need to allow for actual conversation, criticism, everything!