u/skyfully

i’ve been diagnosed for a few months now after ruling out everything else but it’s gotten worse the past few weeks.

i’m already diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, functional neurological disorder, lupus and complex regional pain syndrome.

i’m already in so much pain from all of that but over the years, i’ve been able to make it manageable with meds and some life style changes.

this terrifies me because it’s nothing my meds will touch. for the past 48 hours, i’ve been in a flare up and everything from eating/drinking to even air touching that side of my face makes it feel like i’ve been shot in the face and electricity has replaced my nerves.

im just such at a loss and so scared because ive gone through hell dealing with pain and finding meds to help and it feels that im just starting over again but now on hard mode.

where i live doesnt have the correct specialists to deal with this and ive been referred out to a larger hospital that can help but the thought of having to wait while dealing with this pain completely strips me down mentally.

im just genuinely so scared and in so much pain, that i, as an adult was crying to my mom about how id rather die than feel this way. even with knowing i’ll eventually get help, it doesnt help whats happening right now.

does/did anyone else feel this type of fear or despair when first being diagnosed or when first dealing with prolonged flare-ups?

i just feel so alone and like no one truly understands.

for context, i’ve been openly gender fluid for about 2 years but have felt this way for way longer.

I am a founder of a human rights organization that focuses heavily in lgbtq issues as i am gender fluid and my co-founder is a trans woman so it’s a strong shared passion.

throughout my life, i have been close friends with many mtf or ftm trans people (as well as other gender queer people) and have been heavily involved in their lives and have seen their struggles and hardships due to being trans.

because of this, when it comes to day to day things and even events like trans day of visibility, i find myself reserving the label for those who are mtf or ftm trans.

i KNOW that gender fluid, among other genders fall under the tans umbrella and even my co-founder keeps explaining to me that it’s more than okay to refer to myself as trans but for someone reason it’s hard to.

i’m completely comfortable and fine with others calling me trans, in fact, it makes me feel happy and seen so it’s not that i don’t like or want it, it’s just like there’s a mental block saying i’m not really trans enough to deserve calling myself that like i don’t go through the “true” trans experience so i should put myself in a space where i don’t belong despite the open invitation.

does any one else struggle with this?

jjk and bungo start dogs were my first introduced to action and loved them even for someone who doesn’t like action.

i’ve tried a few others but im so tired the characters spending half the episode explaining literally every action their about to take and how it will effect the scene or plot. i find it boring when things are just laid out.

does anyone have any suggestions of ones where your actually supposed to figure things out or keep up without huge explosions please? i haven’t seen a lot and am i’m open to pretty much anything.

side note; due to personal/medical reasons i mainly only watch dub

some background, i used to work in the film industry and was a sfx mua but also worked closely with props, wig styling and wardrobe.

i had to unfortunately quit due to health issues and haven’t considered doing cosplay before but im going to galaxycon (yeah i know galaxycon sucks but oh well) with my dad this year.

i know im not gonna go all out with props because im in a wheelchair, hence one of the reasons my father coming with me

my main question is, how different do you think cosplay would be from what i’ve already done before?

im not gonna bother with wings because i just simply don’t gonna deal with it but and trying to stick to a character i love and have the same hair color as which will probably end up being chuuya from BSD