u/snakewitch1031

I’m ISO a really good child custody lawyer in the Visalia/Tulare area for a case involving a stay away order/ prior DV etc. we need someone who’s highly experienced in these processes specifically as we’re dealing with parental alienation/mental abuse of the child (asking for a loved one! no, really) thanks in advance!

Yesterday I announced my separation from my wonderful high school sweetheart/husband of almost 15 years/partner of almost 18 years, and today publicly came out as lesbian (previously identified as queer, realized I have no interest in/attraction to men). I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted, but I feel free. He actually said he feels BETTER after we announced, because keeping it in was making it harder for him without us even realizing. Things aren’t easy, we have a beautiful almost 2 year old baby girl. We will remain bestfriends and co parents. We’re family.

For anyone wondering or questioning why we would “announce” these things publicly, I have always been an oversharer and open book, and I also hope to encourage others to live openly and honestly whenever they can. Isolation is the source of so much shame, and I always try to do my part to de stigmatize things because I have the privilege to be able to do so 🖤 life is crazy right now but I feel like myself, finally 🖤

Walking away from a GENUINELY good man, a fantastic father, my best friend and soulmate in so many ways (just not sexually or romantically) since I was 15 years old. All in order to be true to who I am. It’s breaking my heart. There’s no abuse, there’s no infidelity, we’ve created an incredible life and finally had a baby after over a decade of infertility, and I can’t help but feel incredibly selfish (I know this is neither logical nor true) for blowing up our lives. I wish I had it in me to have kept quiet, kept the peace, kept things together for my best friend and my beautiful baby girl, but I can’t live this way. I don’t want to be at the end of my life, regretting that I never let myself live the life I was meant to live. I’ve known I was queer basically my entire life (I’m in my early 30’s) and he’s known since our first conversation. But I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that while I love him with my entire heart, I’m not sexually or romantically interested in men. I always thought it was “normal” or “typical” to feel the way I felt, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20 and after this light switched flipped for me, so many things make sense now. Watching his heart break is killing me. But he deserves someone who’s all in for him, and I deserve to live my life in an authentic way. This is no longer serving either of us. And unfortunately that means walking away from the only life I’ve ever known after almost 20 years. I feel so lost. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I just had to get this out.

ETA: these are only my feelings, my guilt and my sentiments about myself and my relationship, I wouldn’t apply these sentiments to anyone else so take it all with a grain of salt 🖤