u/snapx0

i know alot of people come by this subreddit to often try to find answers, because someone you loved disappeared overnight, pushed you away, made you feel like a villain, trying to understand something, cheated on you, literally watched someone you loved become almost unrecognizable.

and i guess i’m writing this because i don’t want anyone going through what i went through to feel as alone as i did.

recently, i’ve been going through a storm myself. and trust me, it was HARD. when i first came here, i realized i wasn’t the only one. thousands of people had experienced something similar. so, if you’ve lived through it, you know how hard it is. the kind of hard that’s difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t been there.

my therapist told me to learn to accept my feelings. don’t fight them or pretend they aren’t there. don’t brush it off. feel them, let them pass through.
what matters isn’t whether the storm comes.
because, it will. what matters is that you’re prepared for it.

if you’ve been discarded, ghosted, or watched someone you love change during an episode, i’m sorry. i know how painful and confusing it can be. cuz you will eventually question yourself. you replay everything in your head. you hoped and wonder if you could have changed the outcome.

that kind of pain can make you question everything about yourself. ALOT.

and if that’s where you are right now, please know you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

at the same time, if you’re someone living with bipolar and reading this,
i hope you’re finding your way toward stability and healing. this illness can hurt everyone involved, including the person who has it. my heart genuinely goes out to you aswell. you deserve love too.

i’m still learning that healing isn’t about pretending everything is okay. or hiding and penting all of these feelings. because no matter what, it’ll be there.
it’s about accepting that some days will hurt, allowing yourself to feel those emotions without letting them define you, and trusting that you’ll make it through.
this ‘storm’.

soo.. if today is your storm, be gentle with yourself. you don’t have to have all the answers today. just keep taking the next step, one day at a time.

AND EVENTUALLYY, one day, i hope you all will look back and realize you survived a storm you once thought would never ever end.

hang in there guys.

this won’t be your forever.
there are always people walking this road with you.
someone out there understands.

wee’ree all in thisss togetherrr

ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

Hello everyone its me again !
i would like to update that my therapy went fine, life is going great that i’m focusing on myself after what happened.

in short, my psychologist told me that it’s okay to feel upset since i just got thru of losing something, learn to accept the way i’m feeling since i’m going through a heavy moment. and after that, i started to get proper sleep and an even more calmer dreams.

since then, I’ve found new people too that i feel more safer with, they legit patted and hugged me when we were doing karaoke of sad songs, it made me feel warm haha. they’ve accompanied me alot thru this moments.
i’m really grateful for them.

and i would also like to state that i am grateful for every single people here who have adviced me and encouraged me through this journey.

so.. i’d like to pass this experience of mine to the people who needed this, who went through or going through the same thing.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. and there is hope. there’s a light in the end of the tunnel.
if it feels hard, of course it will. being discarded isn’t easy, accepting it is hard but that doesn’t mean it’s the end.
you deserve peace too, you deserve to have your own life you enjoy too. you matter.

and for the people who has BP, you are loved and cared for. you still deserve love. and like i always said to my R before,
Bipolar doesn’t determine who you are. You have to keep pushing through to show that you are strong still despite all of it.

keep your chin up everyone.
Your journey matters, no matter who you are.

you are heard.

Thank You everyone 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

i made a couple of posts back then about my recent discard.

tomorrow i will be seeking therapy to help me better myself, and i’m wondering if i’m doing the right thing here?

i don’t know exactly what i’m looking for in this post,

every single post i’ve read here always had a similarity to what i’ve been through, i relate to it and it’s exactly what happened to me. it really has been eye opening.
but it feels like everyone who talked to me that is related to her is making me think that i’m the crazy one. i don’t know exactly what she told everyone, but it’s clearly a revision of history thing. but i do believe that one day, the truth will be revealed.

i saw a website someone posted here in a reply, stating that this is happening to me because i know the BPSO in question more deeper than everyone else. that’s why alot of bad things is happening to me because ‘i’m a mirror of their failures’. someone even stated that it’s eventually gonna come crashing down too.

i’m already over it, over her, over the people that’s close to her that believes her, because i believe i don’t need to prove my worth to someone who actually understands me. i took the blame and i’m walking away because i trust that there will be a better life ahead of me.

i feel like i just need an encouragement for this. that’s all.

My BPD friend is very attentive and cares alot.
and recently they’ve been stuck in a problem from my side.

long story short, they just cutted contact off with me due to me showing anxiety that i’ll loose them. tho that is my view.
i am not sure of what they see from their side, but as of now, i’m still looking and finding out on what they felt since they have stated that i am unhealthy and a red flag.

i tried to reach out to them but got removed everywhere except here, i have tried reaching to them here but i haven’t gotten a response yet.
i am also aware that this feels like a landmine. where i have to be careful with my steps since anything i do can be wrong. i will be trying my best to do the right thing.

now i am not the best at making decisions on how to act at such situations, i only know how to panic and act from it. especially right now, i’m in my lowest state of life. but that’s no excuse.

so, thats why i am seeking for advice on what i should do to make this up to them. and to give this friendship a second chance.

what i noticed is that they constantly repeat about her past with a similar situation, and i care for that alot.
and the last thing i ever wanted to become was the source of the same hurt that they’re trying to protect themselves from.

i want to be a good friend, i wanna understand my friend better, even with my flaws that i’m doing my best to fix.
for myself and them.

so please let me know on the stuff i can do to save this friendship!
either its about learning, reading websites, etc. i’m ready to learn.

hello everyone its me again! and i need everyone’s help.

i need thoughts and stories and advices to study for.

i am planning to reach out to my ex again as a way to show her about this wrong behavior of her, i just don’t want her to drown even deeper about this problem. it’s not a way of me trying to strike a conversation to her or ask her to go back to me, but just simply as a warning or reminder to help her realize that what she’s doing is wrong.
basically she’s in mania and doesn’t realize it.

as i stated in my previous posts,
my ex went to my friend and dated them because they were in pain and gave me a reason for having a crush on him since “he’s nice to me.” and then a few days later broke up to apologized to me, promised we’ll fix it together, then blocked me and went back to him again.
and during this weeks, i was told that she had some concerning updates about being suicidal and such, which implies she’s in a crisis whilst still being in ‘love’ with the guy.
(this guy also mentioned about how she’s draining to deal with a couple weeks ago. implying that her bipolar is tiring to be with. but she doesn’t see that part since all she sees of him is ‘he’s nice to me’, seeing him as her savior only because shes at her vulnerable moment.)

so.. ive been reading alot of subreddits relating to BPSOs and alot of them have a similar problem to mine where as their BPSO went to cheat on them. and the more i read, the more similarity i see, such as locking the partner away and then went to be with someone else as fast as a light switch.

i’m here to see everyone’s experiences regarding this that i can send to my ex as proof to show her that she isn’t the only one doing this, and i want her to know that its her manic side doing all of this and taking control, and i don’t want her to be that way.

feel free to share about your story in any way at all that is similar to what i went through so i can help by connecting the dots for her. because i know she’s better than this, and i don’t want her bipolar to make her for who she is.

i just want to help her realize before she falls even deeper into this hole, or even turn too deep into bipolar 1.
and of course if you have advice for her too, that would be appreciated as long as it stays polite.
and if you have any other words about this plan of mine, any advice, i’d love to hear it too.

at the end of the day, despite being hurted, i still care for her, and i know very well that she isn’t this manic person she acts as at all.

thank you everyone, i’m sincerely asking for everyone’s experience and knowledge on this.

TL;DR = Share your story about your experiences with a BPSO that cheated on you to let my ex know and build enough proof to make her realize that what she’s doing isn’t completely normal at all aka cheating during manic episode.

so from the previous posts, i have decided to let this relationship of mine go since she still chose to go with the guy she cheated on me with, despite her saying she wont come back to him.

i have loved her for 3 years, we made alot of amazing work together, so it hurts to let this go, but whoever this person i’m looking at, isn’t the girl i fell in love with.

i deserve better.

if she chose to be with the guy who admitted it’s draining to deal with her, and despite me warning her, then so be it.
if she wants to exaggerates all my wrong doings to everyone to make everyone think that i’m a bad person, it’s fine.

i only wish the best for her, i hope she eventually realizes fully about her behavior, and i pray she gets the proper treatment she deserves.

thank you for everything, R. i know and i still believe deep inside that you’re not this person and that one day you’ll come to your senses.
..but your journey isn’t mine anymore. i hope you’ll do the right thing. i know you will.

about changing identities mid mania.

hello everyone its me again,

this time i would like to give an update and asking for more advices since i’m in a position where i have never been in before and it’s making me confused.

ever since the last ominous message they’ve sent, i was worried yes? long story short, i sent another message on an app we still have contact with regarding on some concerning updates from them, as a check up.

then the response that account gave me was about on how this isn’t her, this person stated she sold the acc to them, which she would never do at all.
and oddly enough, this… person, talks like my partner,
the way they text, the tone, the speech, the information about the acc like bios and reposts and everything. and it genuinely feels like it’s my own partner talking to me but pretending to be someone else.
this person admits that they have been friends since highschool thru online. which is odd since my partner always tells me about everything, like genuinely EVERYTHING. so isn’t it odd that i don’t know of this person if they knew my partner and had been friends for years? especially after my own partner stating multiple times that they dont have any friends..

this ‘person’ defended her whilst calling her names like a ‘moron’ ‘cry baby’ ‘attention seeking’ and etc. mentioning about how they know everything and explained it in specific detail on what happened. calling my partner their ‘friend’. i went on to defend my partner by saying theyre not worthy to be called these names but they turned it around me by saying i do horrible things to them so why cant they too? i never called my partner names whatsoever, it’s just isn’t me. especially when they’re going through a hard time. i ended up getting blocked with a similar wording saying theyre leaving, the same way my partner did beforehand.

they also mention that my partner is in the process of going through depression and self harming.

i know it’s my partner, but i can’t prove it.
the name is similar to their real name, their etnicity, their interest, their account set up. and all what they told me, it all feels made up, to talk for my partner as a third person to me.

but why would they make some new identity up to tell me that my partner has been hurting instead of just telling me?

i talked to my friend with a mood disorder aswell, and they mentioned about how this happens occasionally, where mood disorder people seems to make new identities to be ‘destructive’. implying this is my own partner pretending a role.

there’s just so many suspicious holes in this, it doesn’t feel right.

so i’d like to ask, does bipolar people really do this? make new identities and such? and play a role? and what should i feel about this?

hello there, excuse my bad wording everyone.

so i recently dated a girl with bipolar, we dated for around 3 years. we both discovered she had it a few months into our relationship. and from then on, i learnt about alot of things and went thru it also with full care.

a few weeks ago, there was a conflict that occured to us related with my friend group that i introduced to her since she had no proper friends. long story short, we all cutted contact except my girlfriend.
the first few days before this incident, she admitted about having a crush on this one guy in the group. which is common at times when she was on a episode a couple times. then a few days later, she suddenly broke the news that she chose to date the same guy. i was blocked everywhere. then a few days later after another friend talked it out with them, they started to think and reached back out to me. we made ammends, i forgave her and we promised to rework on it together again, basically gonna get back together.
then on the same night, she blocked me again. the next morning i woke up to a message saying she’s sorry and she failed everyone and shes forever guilty.

i reached out to the friend that talked to her and they told me that she doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore because she’s unsure if i’m a good person or not. then soon i found out she went back with the same guy.
during these times, theres alot of updates about her struggling, losing sleep and basically suffering thru this guilt whilst still being with the guy. as if she seek his absence due to her in pain,.

its been a week, i have no updates from her, its all left cliffhanging from the last message she sent which stated her apology and about her feeling guilty. and the rest of the updates are ever since are from friends.
it makes me uneasy that she’s with him, despite her kinda struggling about being with him due to her grieving over my loss still.

i love her very much, and i still do as of now. and i want her to atleast somewhat reach back to me again, but i know it’s not in my control to do so, but at the same time its hurting me that she’s doing all of these whilst hurting at the same time, knowing it’s wrong. i tried contacting her and all i got was blocked again.

i need alot of advice, opinions. and maybe insights about this. has anyone went thru this? if so, what did you do? is this normal or usual? and is there hope whatsoever? since it has never been this long before during an episode. and what should i do? and how do i get her to realize and think again if that’s possible.

thank you for reading.

hello there, excuse my bad wording everyone.

so i recently dated a girl with bipolar, we dated for around 3 years. we both discovered she had it a few months into our relationship. and from then on, i learnt about alot of things and went thru it also with full care.

a few weeks ago, there was a conflict that occured to us related with my friend group that i introduced to her since she had no proper friends. long story short, we all cutted contact except my girlfriend.
the first few days before this incident, she admitted about having a crush on this one guy in the group. which is common at times when she was on a episode a couple times. then a few days later, she suddenly broke the news that she chose to date the same guy. i was blocked everywhere. then a few days later after another friend talked it out with them, they started to think and reached back out to me. we made ammends, i forgave her and we promised to rework on it together again, basically gonna get back together.
then on the same night, she blocked me again. the next morning i woke up to a message saying she’s sorry and she failed everyone and shes forever guilty.

i reached out to the friend that talked to her and they told me that she doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore because she’s unsure if i’m a good person or not. then soon i found out she went back with the same guy.
during these times, theres alot of updates about her struggling, losing sleep and basically suffering thru this guilt whilst still being with the guy. as if she seek his absence due to her in pain,.

its been a week, i have no updates from her, its all left cliffhanging from the last message she sent which stated her apology and about her feeling guilty. and the rest of the updates are ever since are from friends.
it makes me uneasy that she’s with him, despite her kinda struggling about being with him due to her grieving over my loss still.

i love her very much, and i still do as of now. and i want her to atleast somewhat reach back to me again, but i know it’s not in my control to do so, but at the same time its hurting me that she’s doing all of these whilst hurting at the same time, knowing it’s wrong. i tried contacting her and all i got was blocked again.

i need alot of advice, opinions. and maybe insights about this. has anyone went thru this? if so, what did you do? is this normal or usual? and is there hope whatsoever? since it has never been this long before during an episode. and what should i do? and how do i get her to realize and think again if that’s possible.

thank you for reading.