u/snockbaliage

Hi everyone, first time posting here. My father stayed with me over the weekend, and he’s been acting really strangely the entire time. He hasn’t been sleeping, and to me it seems very clear that he’s on some kind of substance. Every time I’ve asked if he’s okay or if something’s going on, he insists that nothing’s wrong and that he’s just his usual self.

He’s currently out to lunch with my sister, and while he was gone I found a small pouch in my laundry with something inside that I’m struggling to identify. I have a pretty strong idea of what it might be, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions.

Is there anyone I could message to help identify it? I don’t want to upset or trigger anyone by posting a photo publicly, but I’m genuinely sitting here bawling my eyes out. I feel sick, I don’t know what to do, and I have no idea how to even begin addressing this.

i (26f) have an 18 year old sister through my birth mum, and i don’t even know if she knows i exist.

she’s been popping up in my instagram recommended lately and it’s brought all these feelings back up again. i grew up as an only child and it’s a bit of a kick in the guts seeing how much she’s grown up and not having any kind of relationship with her. i’ve thought about reaching out for years, but i’ve always stopped myself because i’m scared of disrupting her life or creating issues with her mum if she’s never been told about me.

part of me really wants to know her. but i also don’t want to put pressure on her or suddenly drop something huge into her life that causes stress or chaos. i keep thinking about how overwhelming it could be to suddenly find out you have a sister you never knew about. i met her once when she was a toddler but my mum and i cut contact after that.

i’ve drafted so many messages over the years and never sent any of them. i told myself i’d wait until she was at least 18 because maybe it would be easier for her to process as an adult, but now that the time is here i still feel completely conflicted.

if you were in her position, would you want to know? has anyone here been through something similar, either as the sibling reaching out or the one being contacted?

if i ever did message her, i’d make it very clear that i don’t expect anything from her at all — no reply, no relationship, nothing. i just don’t know if reaching out would be a kind thing to do or a selfish thing to do. this is so hard !!

tldr: i (26f) have an 18f half sister who likely doesn’t know i exist. i’ve thought about reaching out for years but i’m scared of upsetting her or disrupting her family. i want to know her, but i’m conflicted about whether contacting her would be helpful or harmful, and i’m asking if others would want to know in her position.