u/snortcreamcheese

Hello! , I just need to vent and maybe get some advice. I recently started taking medications (ADHD/OCD/Antipsychotic’s) and I am genuinely doing SO much better. But my African mother is making it miserable.

She constantly bitches about my meds, claiming they are “draining” me and that I’m going to die from them. She literally calls them my “candies” to imply I’m just addicted to drugs. The most obnoxious part is that she blames every single minor inconvenience on the medication. If I say “wow, my foot hurts today,” she immediately gasps and goes, “OMG it’s those medicines, you’re destroying your body!”

I am so tired of hearing it. uHas anyone successfully gotten their parents to back off about this? I don’t even want to tell her when I have a headache anymore because I know exactly what she’s going to say. What do I even say to shut this down?

Hello! I’m at my wit’s end and hoping this community can help. I feel like i’m wasting my money!

I have very deep skin and have tried SO many products that either don’t show up at all or fade within minutes. I’ve been searching through the posts here but I have tried nearly all the options people have recommended and they do not work.

Make Up For Ever Liner — barely visible and faded off. $27 dollars is far to expensive for it to do that and I returned it immediately.

• Rare Beauty bronzer/Sephora Bronzer — same issue, not showing

• Sephora Collection liner in Molasses — exact color of my lips

• Saie blush (tried two different shades, including “Chilly”) — invisible on me i’m so sad and it’s very beautiful tinted

• Juvia’s Place liner — doesn’t show up AND rubs off almost immediately

Many Nyx liners don’t show up either!

Rhode liner showed up and I liked the color but also fades away in seconds 🫩.

I’ve had multiple people look at my face after applying and they genuinely can’t tell I’m wearing anything. I’m looking for specific product recommendations from people with similar skin tones.

I have ADHD and OCD and I’m currently taking 50mg of Luvox, but I feel like I am living in constant terror all day, every day. My main theme right now is POCD. I feel like a sex offender and I spend most of my days deathly afraid that I am a pedophile. The more I think about it and ruminate, the more I spiral and genuinely start to convince myself that I am one.

One of my biggest compulsions is checking TikTok every five minutes. The problem is that seeing things on there constantly triggers me and sends me into a massive freak-out spiral. When social media triggers my OCD, it sends me into a blinding, extreme rage. I feel intense anger toward everyone I know, I get urges to curse them out and tell them to die, and I want to lash out or hit myself just to make the feeling stop.

On top of this, I am dealing with severe contamination fears. I only eat takeout because I am convinced my own groceries are poisoned, and I can only drink bottled water. If I don’t have bottled water, I just dehydrate myself and won’t drink anything. I also have ADHD, but I am absolutely petrified to take my ADHD meds because my health anxiety convinces me I will have a heart attack and die, plus they make me feel incredibly fatigued. (even though I didn’t feel a difference when I did take them in the past).

I live in constant torment and fear. I feel like I’m on the edge of a massive nervous meltdown every single day and sometimes I just wish I could be lobotomized to make the thoughts stop. I do not know what to do!

I am nineteen years old and already I feel as though I have outlived whatever life I was meant to have.

I am neurodivergent. I suspect I am autistic and I have ADHD and OCD. I stutter badly when nervous. My mother still denies that I could possibly have any of these things despite being on medication for both. She tells me I am internalizing other people’s opinions. She suggests prayer. When I was in eighth grade and told her I was sad she told me to kill myself and beat me for crying. I go to college and I maintain good grades and I substitute teach.

But there is no future I can imagine that does not feel like a continuation of this same gray endurance, rotating in my bed, spending my small wages on iced coffee, waiting for a voice to tell me what to do next. I feel mentally sluggish, as though my thoughts move through molasses.

My dad hit me regularly and my mom did not stop it. I was not allowed to go anywhere. No afterschool programs, not even SAT Prep, no clubs, no sleepovers, no Halloween, no field trips if they thought they ran long. I did not go to homecoming. I did not go to prom. I did not go to my dual enrollment matriculation ceremony. I did not go on my senior trip to New York while every other senior went, and when I cried about being the only person left in the building for a week while my classmates were in NYC, they called me selfish and stupid. I got into the college I wanted with a large scholarship and they bullied me out of going because New York was too far. They made me attend a local public school instead and later laughed in my face and said they were glad I did not go. My sister told me that my father had said my brother could go to that same school if he wanted, because he was a boy. I cried and my mother yelled at me.

Now they want to talk to me like normal people. They want to send me normal texts. They want to act as if none of it happened.

Yet, still my mother is mean to me sometimes and it’s eating me up inside. my mother says, I act odd and that people will take advantage of me, that I need to go back to her country so they can bully the softness out of me. I sit there and stutter and rub my hands together like a fly and I know I am disappointing her. She means well. She does not understand me and she never has, and I have mostly made peace with that, except that it still makes my chest hurt.

I know I am strange. I have always known I was strange since I was ten. There is something deep in me that other people can see, some wrongness, and no amount of good grades or quiet politeness will cover it. I feel as though I am some veteran of a war nobody else witnessed, twitching at nothing, locking into myself, then exploding again and I do not know how to cope with it. I feel like my life is over!

I keep asking myself what I did. I was not disobedient. I was not cruel. I was a quiet, shy kid who did their work.

Hello! I’m a college student studying Special education.

I’m worried that I may never be able to be a teacher if I’m autistic or visibly “off” socially. I’m not very good at masking. I think I was just soft-blocked from a school I loved. I had actually really enjoyed working at for a few months. I liked the staff there, and being there had even started to make me rethink whether I wanted to pursue high school teaching, because I was realizing I also liked working with younger kids. I am not new to childcare, I have worked in summer camps and daycares before for years so this was not my first time being around children or managing groups.

Recently I was with a kindergarten class for the first time, and there was another teacher in the room. I asked her a question about whether bouncing between specials was the typical routine (I’ve mostly subbed 6th grade and was trying to understand elementary schedules better, and I want to figure out what grade I want to teach). I also feel awkward just sitting around doing schoolwork or being on my phone when another teacher is actively teaching, (I have back problems so I can’t stand long, and I feel guilty sitting while others work).

At one point she told me she didn’t need me in the room and sent me to the break room. I said I was fine staying, but she still told me to go there and work on my schoolwork until after lunch. I thought maybe she just meant there wasn’t much for me to do, so I did what she asked. While I was in there, the principal came in and asked if I was overwhelmed. I was confused and told her I was fine and just doing my schoolwork.

The day went fine. The kids were sweet, we colored, played outside, they complimented my hair. I thought it was a good day. At sign-out, the principal pulled me aside and said she “understood things can be overwhelming” and that this job “isn’t a good fit” because they need someone who can handle loud noises and classroom management. I was shocked as I never told anyone I was overwhelmed. I do get overwhelmed by loud noise sometimes, but I usually keep it to myself and do my job anyway. I nodded and left and cried at the bus stop. They canceled my next booking the same day. I feel so crushed. I loved that school. I was starting to know the staff. I keep replaying it and I can’t stop crying.

I’m generally able to get kids to behave, they’re not roaming the halls, they do their work, and nothing beyond normal substitute-level rowdiness happens on my watch. I have never had to call the office for anything serious besides twice before as they got very rowdy and the other students had begged me to. I do get overwhelmed by loud noise sometimes, but I usually keep it to myself and push through it without making it other people’s problem. Did I do something genuinely wrong that I’m not seeing? I really love working with kids. I don’t want to give up on this. But I’m scared that no matter how good I am with children, people are going to look at me and decide I can’t handle it.

But I don’t want to dismiss a valid criticism of myself just because I’m upset.

EDIT: Since so many people keep saying this I was NOT ON MY PHONE or doing schoolwork with the kids in the room. I was there waiting for what to do, as again there were multiple teachers there and they then took the children OUT of the room most of the day, the co-teacher was sitting on her phone the entire time, which is why I asked her what was going on. She insisted I should go to the teachers lounge, after I refused she practically led me over there and insisted I should wait there until specials were over which is what I did. I was not sitting there in her face on her phone as obviously you aren’t supposed to do that!!