u/sofia_princesss

It’s my current dilemma. I’m thinking about improving my life in this current CR and turning it into a sort of WR. So I started wondering whether I wanted to manifest changes in the world itself (like political or social changes), or simply manifest everything I want for myself and leave the world the way it is. I haven’t decided yet; for now, I’m focusing only on my own life.

There’s a sort of melancholy in trying to turn this world into “a better CR,” because it feels like, despite all the negativity, it’s still a unique place, and sometimes I feel uncomfortable with the idea of changing something about it. I think I’d rather simply shift to a “perfect world” DR (although I’m non-dualist and know that there’s no literal difference between shifting and manifestation, my mind still categorizes them as different, so I feel like the experience of manifesting improvements in the CR and shifting to a better CR are different) and just enjoy my individual life in this CR as it is.

But I came here to ask about you guys, who also like to manifest, revise your life, or shift: do you prefer to manifest/revise something for the world as a whole, or do you prefer to manifest/revise things only for yourselves while leaving the world the same? And if there’s something you don’t like about this CR, do you prefer to “shift” or just “manifest improvements”?

Okay, I'm speaking purely from my own direct experience here.

These days, I don't think my philosophy of life fits entirely within Advaita Vedanta anymore, although it has guided, and still guides, a huge part of what I believe. Through observing reality and myself, along with my own personal experiences, I feel that some aspects of Advaita no longer resonate with me. My worldview is still largely non-dual, but it's now shaped more by my own experience than by any specific tradition.

That said, let's talk about "awakening."

When I first came across the concept, I think the way it was presented gave me the wrong idea of what it actually meant. It sounded like awakening meant the complete end of suffering and the "death of the ego." Because of that, I spent a long time chasing some magical, extraordinary state instead of simply recognizing what had always been there. Through observation, that changed. I could never become awakened, because I was never actually unawakened. Awareness was always here. It never disappeared. It simply became so absorbed in a story that, for a moment, it forgot it was a story. The idea of the "death of the ego" is what confuses me the most. Looking closely, I realized that the ego was always just an idea - a collection of conditioning, memories, automatic recognition, interpretations, projections, and sensations. It was never an enemy, nor something I needed to fight or destroy.

Now here's the main point: Is awakening overly idealized?

I never stopped suffering. I never stopped having desires. I never stopped becoming so absorbed in the story that I temporarily forgot it was a story. Observation has shown me that awareness shifts its attention so naturally and so often that it's completely normal to lose your head sometimes or react automatically when a strong emotion arises. I never stopped having doubts. I never stopped being contradictory. I never stopped telling myself stories about what happened instead of simply seeing what happened.

Observation changed my life in clear and measurable ways. I no longer needed psychiatric medication. My sleep improved. My relationship with therapy changed. Almost everything I once believed to be a problem turned out to be nothing more than unquestioned identification. Calmness, peace, and contentment genuinely became more natural for me. My body isn't tense all the time anymore. But emotions never disappeared. I can still feel pain. I still get irritated. I still make impulsive decisions. Sometimes I still identify with my problems and lose perspective. I still want things. I'm still human. I'm not living in a constant state of bliss or emotional stability.

Chasing that "special state" only kept a painful story alive far longer than necessary. There was never anything I needed to attain, only something that was already present and waiting to be noticed. I think people sometimes forget that. They sometimes describe simple awareness of what appears as something far more perfect than it actually is, as if awakening were a promise of endless happiness. Instead... it's much more like what life has always been. After all, I was never truly "unawakened." I had only forgotten myself for a moment.