u/softestfern

28f for reference, but I don't think it really matters in this situation! I'm interested in CC for self defense purposes after having a few scary situations walking around the city I live in. Yesterday I got a call from the sherriff's office that my CHL application was approved and my card will be mailed presently.

I've been taking small-group target practice lessons for a few months and feel comfortable shooting, and have been graduated up to practicing doubles and TCA's with the instructor while my peers are still working on getting good groups on their own time.

I still feel so incredibly anxious about purchasing and carrying a firearm. Mentally I'm very stable, I know all the safety rules/laws, I have a plan of where to keep the safe, all of that, but I can't shake my nerves on actially owning one and having it on my person.

Any advice on getting over that initial fear? TIA!!

Also, if anyone has reccs for CC models, it would be much appreciated. I'm most comfortable with Glocks (both 47 and 19 gen 5) but they seem a bit bulky for concealed carry.

EDIT: apologies for the redundant wording in the title 😔 I promise I don't also say ATM machine lol

me (28f) and my husband (36m) have been pretty much sexless for the past three years, together for four. things went downhill after we got engaged, and i thought it would get better once the wedding was behind us but i was so very wrong. it's maybe a quarterly event, with no foreplay, no aftercare, and frequently ends as soon as he's done- leaving me hanging. i've communicated so many times asking for foreplay or teasing, or really anything besides just forcing his junk into me dry as hell and it just never gets through.

i've brought up counselling.... i couldn't tell you how many times. he always shuts down, says he's not good enough and so ashamed, he doesn't know what's wrong with him. it's like a script he reads every time. it's come to a point where i can't really accept that answer anymore and be understanding about it. i brought it up tonight for the first time in a while, just saying how i'd love to incorporate even non-sexual intimacy into our relationship. i made sure to promise it's not an attack or me saying that he's not enough. if anything i just want more of him. and i want us to have the best marriage we possibly can.

he said his piece whilst looking at the floor and i just nodded and said "yep. that's about how i expected this to go" and left the room because i'm so tired of this cycle!! it doesn't matter how gently or passionately i bring it up. we'll sit in silence for over forty five minutes sometimes while he says nothing and just sulks while facing the other way. it's like talking to a child in time out, even though i always think a hundred times about how i want to say what's on my mind to try not to trigger his stress response. conversations usually end without resolve or followup after a period of excessive silence on his part, so it's just a thousand small wounds that never get tended to.

i'm so tired of feeling isolated. it's so incredibly jarring to come home to silence and not even being looked in the eye after spending a day filled with laughter, easy conversation, closeness, and intellectual talks with my friends, clients, or even strangers. it makes me want to scream!!! let alone how shameful it feels to sneak in a solo session while he's out smoking his fifth/sixth joint of the day or while he's passed out next to me in the middle of the night.

at what point is it time to walk away? i'm so tired of feeling like a roommate. i've been working out, enjoying my hobbies, filling my own cup. i think i'm in a really great place in my personal life... but i am feeling the life and joy being sucked out of me by a spouse who won't even acknowledge me. it just sucks because if we had what we've got in terms of our relationship dynamic, plus a reasonable sex life i'd be over the moon. sex and intimacy as well as open communication surrounding those topics is a huge part of feeling secure for me and it's just not happening like it used to when we first met.