u/sometimes_just_

I used to have a respectably clean house for the majority of the time I've owned it. I've hosted many game nights and BBQs with my friends. That all changed after I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my Dad in 2022. I've battled depression for over 20 years, but after that day, it flipped the script. I can't seem to break the cycle that would only last maybe a couple of weeks, tops, before. Now I'm years in, and it's hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

As far as my situation goes. I have a 3-bedroom house that I am absolutely ashamed of the condition I have let it become. I have been able to do a room at a time, make it immaculate, then fall back into the darkness, and it just goes back to the norm. The embarrassing state of my living situation just feels impossible to escape. It's mainly empty recyclables, dirty dishes, clothes I can't seem to ever put away, etc. I just feel so overwhelmed at this point and don't know where to start.

People who have gone through similar situations, what would you recommend? Renting a dumpster? I feel like that is one of my weaknesses is that when my garbage/recycling cans are full from an afternoon of trying to take care of this, I lose all motivation. Would it help to have a larger container to get rid of this clutter? If so, what have you guys found would be needed for moderate clutter around a 3-bedroom house? I feel like just throwing everything away at once might be the only way I can get out of this vicious cycle. I don't know.

My biggest problem now is I can function outside of my own home. Hell I even help others with projects that I have put off personally.

My worst folly that I just can't seem to get past is cleaning my house. I always feel so overcome that I just don't start and it keeps getting worse. I'm not a hoarder, per se, never have been. But I just can't seem to make my living space respectable.

I've been too embarrassed to have anyone over to my house pretty much since I lost my Dad. I've tried. I've gotten one or two rooms at a time in my house spick and span. Then I lose all motivation to finish. The clutter piles back up. Back to square one.

I really just don't understand. I'm the first to help anybody and everybody around me with any kind of project no matter how big or small, but I can't even muster enough willpower to make my house livable, it embarrasses me just looking at it. I know my Dad would not want me to live like this. It's been almost 3 and 1/2 years and I just still can't find the drive to get back to normality in my personal life. My professional life, my life with others, they have all seemed to have been mended over the years.

This though, my own dwelling. I can't keep it respectable for the life of me. I just don't understand what is going wrong with me.

My biggest problem now is I can function outside of my own home. Hell I even help others with projects that I have put off personally.

My worst folly that I just can't seem to get past is cleaning my house. I always feel so overcome that I just don't start and it keeps getting worse. I'm not a hoarder, per se, never have been. But I just can't seem to make my living space respectable.

I've been too embarrassed to have anyone over to my house pretty much since I lost my Dad. I've tried. I've gotten one or two rooms at a time in my house spick and span. Then I lose all motivation to finish. The clutter piles back up. Back to square one.

I really just don't understand. I'm the first to help anybody and everybody around me with any kind of project no matter how big or small, but I can't even muster enough willpower to make my house livable, it embarrasses me just looking at it. I know my Dad would not want me to live like this. It's been almost 3 and 1/2 years and I just still can't find the drive to get back to normality in my personal life. My professional life, my life with others, they have all seemed to have been mended over the years.

This though, my own dwelling. I can't keep it respectable for the life of me. I just don't understand what is going wrong with me.