u/sophid0117

I hope this is okay to post here since I’m a college student and I’m trying to navigate dating/getting independence from my parents!

I’m 19f and just moved back to my college town to start my sophomore year. About a month before I came back, I downloaded hinge and set my location to where my school is so I could try meeting some people. I matched with a really cool guy and we talked for about three weeks before I came back this past Saturday. We had our first date on Monday, and I ended up telling my parents because my mom was being nosy about if I went anywhere that day.

She was surprisingly calm about it, and her only complaint was that we had met off a dating app. Otherwise, she couldn’t really be mad since we had talked for so long before hand, and met up at a cafe in the middle of the day. I told them Monday night, but Tuesday morning (today) I got a notification that she had added my apartment as a location on our life 360 circle.

For some context, I don’t mind sharing my location with my parents and I also have circles with my friends and roommates. When I went off to school I let my mom keep my location just in case there was some sort of emergency where I stopped responding to messages, and that way she could at least see where I was. Still, she had agreed to only check it in that situation because I’m an adult and deserve some independence. My dad thought I should delete it, but I was fine with the emergency only situation.

I feel like putting the apartment on the circle is definitely a bit helicopter-ish though. If you’re unfamiliar, Life360 notifies everyone in the circle when people leave or arrive at a set location. She didn’t do this with my dorm last year, and the fact that she set it up right after learning that I’m going out with a guy definitely means that’s what she’s concerned about.

I know my mom, and I know she’s going to automatically be suspicious or assuming I’m with him when I leave the apartment. Especially because my friends and I like to hang out late at night or go to McDonalds and don’t get back until 2 sometimes. I don’t plan on going out with this guy at night until we’ve gotten to know each other better and met up more, but I have a feeling that’s where her mind will go even if I’m just with friends. Is it valid for me to ask her to take it off so that she’s not asking where I’m going (and subsequently being suspicious) every time I leave the apartment in the evening? I just feel like I’m nearly 20 and my mom doesn’t need to know when I get back to my apartment or leave it. I appreciate that she cares about my safety, but imo her having my location does nothing for me since I’m two states away. It actually matters that my roommates and friends know where I am in case of an emergency or unsafe situation.

I just finished my freshman year and decided to take an online, asynchronous class this summer. The class I’m taking is mandatory for my program (architecture) and I heard from my friend that it’s annoying and time consuming so it would be better to get it over with during the summer.

It started two weeks and I’m already so annoyed with it.

This class is about how the environment affects architecture, and what design elements would make a building more efficient and sustainable. For example, the sun is an environmental factor, and you could add a retractable awning over a window to cool the room in the summer, but put it down in the winter to maximize warmth from sunlight. This topic is interesting to me but I feel like the class is executed so poorly.

The actual assignments are easy and honestly pretty mindless. It’s formatted so each module has a reading and videos to watch and take notes on BEFORE you watch the lecture. Then, watch the lecture and take notes on it. I did the first lecture before the “pre lecture” nonsense, since I didn’t want to read the book excerpt and wanted to just get something done with. Once I did the pre-lecture, I realized it was pretty much word for word what was in the lecture and my notes had so much repeated information. There was nothing in that reading that was necessary for me to understand the lecture, and she basically just restated it in her video.

Then there’s a “lab” designed to teach you how to use a software, but I looked through them all and they’re softwares we already learned freshman year. This class is intended for sophomores and literally the entire sophomore class takes it together at the same time. The labs are on indesign, illustrator, and sketchup. They’re basically duplicates of each other since there are multiple for each software. I think only two out of the 6 are actually new content.

I’m really just sitting at my laptop like what the fuck because this class is a huge waste of time. These lectures take me hours to get through because she makes you pause and copy drawings on the screen. Then I have to usually re-do my notes on new pieces of paper she limited them to two sheets of 11 x 8.5” paper put next to each other in a spread. When I’m doing 10+ drawings and not knowing what’s coming next, it’s hard to plan them properly and I always run out of space. The whole course is just repetitive and copying so you’re not really learning or creating anything.

My last comment is that she’s extremely disorganized. She’ll post things as modules but write in them to “submit with the notes” which notes? I had to do extra work once just for her to answer me after the deadline that I didn’t have to do that part. Cool. I can tell most of her modules and assignments have copy-pasted directions because they often make no sense and would have been intended for a different assignment. It’s not actually that big of a deal but I figured I’d share because it’s just so ridiculous!

I just started working at Costco and I can’t stand it. It wouldn’t even be that bad if it weren’t for my OCD. I stress out so much about cleanliness (even though I’m pretty disorganized) and this job is disgusting. I have to put raw, leaking meat in carts and I feel so gross every day after work. I literally have to wash up to my elbows every day after I get home and change my clothes just to feel okay. Today they suddenly made me clean the bathroom and I just got so thrown off (this wasn’t in my job description) and overstimulated that I started crying and couldn’t stop. I really have been trying to push through this job but it’s gotten to a point that going is so stressful that I just want to find a new one. It’s also just exhausting and today I was stuck with a rude cashier. I’m getting $20 hourly which is so good but I’m really tempted to protect my peace. I’m already worried about what I’ll have to do tomorrow. Any advice?

I’ve been looking for outside scholarships since last year when I was a hs senior and I’ve never had any luck. All I can find are those sites like niche that have a million that I’m not even eligible for. I applied for two last year and got rejected from both after wasting time on essays. My mom is constantly on my case about them and insists that family friends’ kids have gotten thousands from outside scholarships. This makes literally no sense as I’ve scoured the internet for them. Has anyone had luck?