u/starryyblues

A close female relative visited today, and she made me feel so inferior by the way I was treated, she was so much nice to my brother than to me, completely ignored my existence when I was the one serving her tea and food, I understand that she and her family is closer to my brother since childhood, as I'm not a very open person and I don't like talk to people about my personal things unless I really trust them, so I wasn't very close to them since my childhood, specifically after I lost my dad at age 11..but today I felt so ignored, the way I was treated, along with the hidden misogyny that was present, it kinda broke me, idk if I should attend her daughter's wedding anymore but everyone keeps blaming me for not talking or socialising with people, and I'll again be blamed for not attending...why should I go somewhere when I know how I'll be treated...

I know this is a pretty terrible thing to confess but I do enjoy seeing other people in misery (not very extreme ones tho) I don't like when people are extremely happy when I struggle to exist every single day, I don't like happy people living fulfilled lives, it makes me sooo angry, it reminds me of how unfair the world is, I like the depressed, lonely, and sad kind, not the ones always crying about their sadness, but the ones who've seen the low lows that life could offer,it gives them a certain kind of depth that only some people can have and only some could see, I really love them, I really wanna surround myself with these people

I'm extremely sensitive, and it has got its downsides, but the love I experience for others is also incredibly deep , like if I love a person I can REALLY love them, I don't think most people acquire this level of emotional depth and understanding to even realise the kind of love I can feel , I don't think I will ever be reciprocated with the same level of intensity, I experience emotions very deeply, I can't imagine wasting it on someone who just can't give it back ,so I might just stay alone forever ..

Okay so my brother is 25yo, I'm 22..we lost our dad about 15 years ago, he was our main parent cuz my mom had mental health issues so she was mostly not present for us emotionally, never really felt a motherly vibe from her, we have grown up seeing our parents fight almost every other day, physically and verbally...it wasn't a healthy environment for us at all..after my dad passed away our aunt majorly took care of us financially..

My brother got into smoking and drinking at a really young age due to the lack of proper guidance and parenting, so all the attention mostly went into him , making sure that he doesn't get into trouble, he would fail subjects in school, get caught smoking in school premises, get into fights, get into serious troubles with his teachers, it was just really hard to manage him while growing up...this meant that I was totally ignored...I was left to take care of myself emotionally and academically, I did have my struggles in school but I managed to pass all my classes , I would make sure that I caused no trouble to my family, I wouldn't ask for new stuff, or complain about anything at all, I thought that if I made myself invisible my family would have less problems cuz of me atleast...

Now, I don't like my sibling at all, he still acts incredibly immature, he's extremely impulsive, doesn't think through stuff , runs away when things get hard , doesn't want to take up responsibilities...every conversation we have, he'd start stating the obvious answer and then act like everyone else is a fool for not acting on things instantly, he always blames others, tries to act like he's incredibly smart, but he has never done anything to prove it, he doesn't have a job, he doesn't help in the house with anything, he would just get over excited over something he hasn't even worked on yet, imagine the best possible outcome and when things don't turn out just as smoothly he gives up completely, it's always been this pattern with him which really pisses me off, he also has this thing of comparing himself to me, he would always call me a loser cuz apparently I don't have friends like he does, or I don't do things that we ask him to do( which are more appropriate for him to do since patriarchy exists , like talking to random men who'd respect guys and listen to them more than a young woman like me)...I feel incredibly annoyed evry single time I talk to him... He also has this thing to make me feel bad in public , like if I ask him to help me with something that I'm not good at, then he would start making me feel dumb about it in front of everyone, I don't understand why he acts like this and doesn't see how things are so wrong with him, I don't feel any support from him, I don't respect him or find him competent enough to do anything, I can see through him.

I don't feel any support from him, his impulsive actions piss me tf off , we can't even have a normal conversation without arguments, he would constantly blame me for things that he himself has never even done, like he wouldn't even go to give the exams that he'd pay for, and then lecture me over not scoring good in exams, he's such a hypocrite loser, I feel like he doesn't work together as a family, he makes it a weird competition where he blames everyone else but somehow he never sees his own patterns cuz he was "struggling mentally" , he doesn't see what we all go through, such a pain in the a\\\*\\

I need an outside perspective for this, from someone wiser and smarter, pls no teens or young adults.

Okay so my brother is 25yo, I'm 22..we lost our dad about 15 years ago, he was our main parent cuz my mom had mental health issues so she was mostly not present for us emotionally, never really felt a motherly vibe from her, we have grown up seeing our parents fight almost every other day, physically and verbally...it wasn't a healthy environment for us at all..after my dad passed away our aunt majorly took care of us financially..

My brother got into smoking and drinking at a really young age due to the lack of proper guidance and parenting, so all the attention mostly went into him , making sure that he doesn't get into trouble, he would fail subjects in school, get caught smoking in school premises, get into fights, get into serious troubles with his teachers, it was just really hard to manage him while growing up...this meant that I was totally ignored...I was left to take care of myself emotionally and academically, I did have my struggles in school but I managed to pass all my classes , I would make sure that I caused no trouble to my family, I wouldn't ask for new stuff, or complain about anything at all, I thought that if I made myself invisible my family would have less problems cuz of me atleast...

Now, I don't like my sibling at all, he still acts incredibly immature, he's extremely impulsive, doesn't think through stuff , runs away when things get hard , doesn't want to take up responsibilities...every conversation we have, he'd start stating the obvious answer and then act like everyone else is a fool for not acting on things instantly, he always blames others, tries to act like he's incredibly smart, but he has never done anything to prove it, he doesn't have a job, he doesn't help in the house with anything, he would just get over excited over something he hasn't even worked on yet, imagine the best possible outcome and when things don't turn out just as smoothly he gives up completely, it's always been this pattern with him which really pisses me off, he also has this thing of comparing himself to me, he would always call me a loser cuz apparently I don't have friends like he does, or I don't do things that we ask him to do( which are more appropriate for him to do since patriarchy exists , like talking to random men who'd respect guys and listen to them more than a young woman like me)...I feel incredibly annoyed evry single time I talk to him... He also has this thing to make me feel bad in public , like if I ask him to help me with something that I'm not good at, then he would start making me feel dumb about it in front of everyone, I don't understand why he acts like this and doesn't see how things are so wrong with him, I don't feel any support from him, I don't respect him or find him competent enough to do anything, I can see through him.

I don't feel any support from him, his impulsive actions piss me tf off , we can't even have a normal conversation without arguments, he would constantly blame me for things that he himself has never even done, like he wouldn't even go to give the exams that he'd pay for, and then lecture me over not scoring good in exams, he's such a hypocrite loser, I feel like he doesn't work together as a family, he makes it a weird competition where he blames everyone else but somehow he never sees his own patterns cuz he was "struggling mentally" , he doesn't see what we all go through, such a pain in the a**

I need an outside perspective for this, from someone wiser and smarter, pls no teens or young adults.

She was my senior in school, incredibly smart, highly intelligent, and an all rounder, she always topped all the classes, good at sports, good at debates, elocutions, dance and all kinds of competitions, how are some people so exceptionally good at so many things, I remember whenever she would talk, she'd sound extremely sharp, you could tell that she was smart just by talking to her, I used to look upto her in school, but today I came across her linkedin, and I just felt jealous...

Or even just a friend group, I wish I had a group of female friends where we don't compete with each other, we actually supported each other, and had a somewhat same mindset...I feel like most rich women in the country find it so much easier to belong, they grow up with similar friend circle and usually stay like that, I wish I also had that option, I just wanna be able to talk on a call with someone for hours without feeling like there's a hidden motive behind it

So I have never been a social person, I find it really difficult to have casual conversations or be casual friends with people, for me they're either friends for life or a stranger, I find it extremely difficult to network and talk to people and maintain transactional relationships with them, I feel guilty about using them, whenever I talk to someone I either go all in and get to the details or completely avoid talking, is this even normal? How does everyone seem like they've been doing it for ages while I'm an idiot, I struggle with really normal social situations, like maybe asking my money back from someone, or asking for help from people...I don't understand how to improve , I'm just so scared and embarrassed all the time

Seeing the people I have grown up with getting older is making me so damn sad, it feels as if everyone is getting old around me, one of my uncles now is even suffering from dementia, 8 remember him visiting my house as a kid , seeing him so old and so weak broke my heart, life is so ruthless, old age is terrible, im so scared of aging, I'm scared of death, ik scared of people around me dying, this is so damn saddddd

I don't think I have the patience to deal with any BS, I don't even take sh*t from my parents, there is noooo way I'm taking it from my in laws if I ever get married , I don't understand how are women still living with their in laws and dealing with everything, I'm 22 years old, does this mindset change as we age? Cuz I'm not planning to live a life like that everrr, im also extremely introverted, the only place where I relax is at home, I'm not going to live the rest of my life feeling judged and trapped with a family that would control every action I take, why are women still getting married??

I don't feel normal, I am too sensitive to things, I feel like I can feel way too much, I can sense the energies of places, I am too sensitive to sound, weather, temperature, heat, textures..I feel like my brain notices too much in everything , it never shuts down, when I speak my mouth can't keep up with my brain, my thoughts keep jumping from one thing to another, I can't hold an eye contact, I get overwhelmed wayy too easily, I don't like when my hands are dirty or sticky or I feel that they're dirty, so I have to keep washing them after touching anything that changes how my hands feel to me, it's too much for me, I just want my brain to shut up

What's it actually like to be married to an Indian guy? Are you still expected to do all the household work? Is it actually worth it so far? (please reply if you're a married woman)

I'm a bcom 25 grad, I need a job but my small town doesn't have entry level jobs , I need to relocate, I haven't got any experience, how do I even land my first job? Also I did try internshala but couldn't find something

I don't like talking to people I get way too self conscious, I don't like being perceived or looked at , i feel like they're able to see through me, like they can see my soul and know what I am like and then they'll hate me, I can't even talk to people without saying something stupid or making a fool out of myself, I hate myself,, I don't want anyone to ever experience me or my thoughts or me as a human, I like being all alone but I also think that it's not good for me to be like this,, cuz what if I grow very old and have nobody left and my entire family dies or goes on with their life and I'm left all alone and what if I die alone in my room like that???

I don't respect this culture, I don't like the family oriented people, I'm so much more individualistic, most people are sexist, nobody feels responsible for the world or the earth or the environment, I don't like the food culture or the arrange marriages, I don't like how there is a weird divide between everyone on the basis of caste, creed or religion, everyone seems so much arrogant without anything to justify this arrogance, I don't like how nobody understands personal space, I don't like being started at in public, I don't want to marry someone from this culture, I don't want to marry anyone at all, I want to live by myself but the culture doesn't make it easy for women to do that, I don't feel a part of this bs, I feel alienated , I don't respect them or love them, I just feel like I have to fake my opinions everyday just to be accepted, I don't like how small minded people here are, I don't like this country, I wish I wasn't born here at all

I feel extremely disgusted by it, it makes me wanna throw up , I hate that feeling, I start to hate a guy as soon as things get slightly sexual, and it's not cuz I'm asexual, it's cuz it's all that it has been all this while, there's so much sexual content online I feel desensitised to it now and all the men that I have interacted to cuz I was bored, I only want to be loved without being lusted, I hate the feeling so much

I'm 22 years old, I don't have a social life at all, most days I don't even talk to another human being, my entire understanding of humans is through social media and platforms like reddit, I talk more to AI than with real people, I have no deep connections with anyone, I don't understand how people keep being friends with others, I have social anxiety and I hate opening up and being vulnerable around others, I always have my guards up and never truly feel a connection with anybody, even through I'm extremely emotional and I have a very rich inner world I just dont connect with people in real life in the same way, sometimes I really wish I had a friend who I could talk to about anything without any judgements, I have had friends in the past but there was always something off putting about them, I'm a highly self aware person, and also extremely choosy with people, I'm also very anxious so as soon as I see something I don't like , my brain just switches off and I lose any feelings for anybody, it's really hard for me to keep people in my life, I don't know if I'll ever form deeper connections with someone , I feel so sad and helpless, I live more inside my head than in real