u/stickbug48

i finally had penetrative sex! i used a dilator while doing foreplay beforehand for 15 minutes (literally set a timer) and once that was up i immediately took it out and he entered in me. it honestly hurt a bit at first but once he kept going it wasn't bad at all! we did missionary and from the back and from the back did kind of hurt more but missionary was lovely oh my god. i'm so so so happy. he commented on how it was still really tight but it felt good so like.....hey a win is a win. one thing though is i can't really do like. the position where i'm on top. nothing really moves lol it's still like really tight which bums me out. but it's okay....there's other positions.......but yeah just wanted to share!!!!!

anyone else get extremely tired while drinking alcohol? i drank for the first time on lithium and i literally only took about like 5-6 sips of a drink and after like 20 mins i was exhausted. just like, suuuper drowsy and it was really annoying. im actually considering getting off the medication because of this and all the other restrictions.

do you ever feel like when things are going really great, and you have a solid group of friends that you can go to for any kind of support, that you just like. think about attempting suicide or trying to hurt yourself so they can see and give you attention and sympathy? i'm definitely not going to do this but i crave their reactions and love (in that way.) this definitely stems from my bpd i fear......