u/stixeater

im being cyberstalked and harassed and my stalkers managed to get ahold of some of the csem of me and sent it to me. before anyone asks, i reported them to the fbi before making this post, however ive been told since it happened over discord its very hard to track who did it. i feel so fucking sick. i've been having flashbacks all day constantly. physical, mental, visual, all of it. nothing seems to take my mind off of it. i didn't even click the links they sent but i saw my face on them. i've already puked twice today. it really happened. good god it actually happened, and people can find it online, that fucking easily. it doesn't make sense. i feel horrible.

somehow all of these feelings have turned into anger and hostility towards my mother and my trafficker for raping me and causing this stuff to even find the internet. i'm so paranoid that she had something to do with the stalkers, even though i know it's unlikely. good god. the world is full of evil fucking people and i hate it. any comfort or advice appreciated, like i said i already reported the accounts to both discord and the fbi tip line.

i have level 3 autism and am nonverbal. for some people their autism may not be disabling. but for alot of us it very much is. me included. i cant do any iadls and most of my adls alone. i will need 24/7 care for my entire life, im intellectually disabled, i can't communicate without AAC and need help with "simple" things like changing clothes, bathing, or using the bathroom. all because of my autism. i am very much disabled. i try to be understanding but it makes me very upset. how are you gonna say that when i struggle so much every day cuz of autism? it just makes me mad.

i have level 3 autism and am nonverbal (or minimally verbal more accurate, i can say a few words occasionally but nothing useful just random stims / phrases). i used to be semiverbal but am now nonverbal due to big trauma made me regress and scared me from talking. my guardians approved me to post this and talk about stuff and will be watching what people say, so please be nice.

being nonverbal makes me very sad. i have so many words i wanna say but my brain wont let me. its like someone put a wall between the path in my brain and my mouth. i make noises alots but not words. people treat me like a child baby, im used to it mostly, but i wish i could talk speak like a real adult can. im 18 years old. i want to be able to talk. i want to be able to hold conversations without my AAC tablet. i want to be able to infodump about my interests. and to tell my boyfriend i love you. and i want, more importantly, to communicate my wants and needs to people. i live at a residential unit ATM and staff gets confused easy on what i want to say because i can't communicate right. and it takes a long time to type on my AAC. it makes me frustrated and angry and sad. i wanna be able to talk so so so bad. i wanna be able to make friends and talk to them. and everything else talking people can do.

thats all. sorry. just wanted to vent.

edit : thank you all for the support. i'm getting overwhelmed by all the comments so sorry if i don't get to them all or if i take a bit. thank you all for being nice.

i have mild intellectual disability and an IQ of 65 & i never meet other autistics online who also have intellectual disability. im curious if anyone else here has it? mild-moderate-even severe or even borderline im iust curious