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u/striderfish

r/FTMventing r/Beginner_Art r/FtMpassing
Image 1 — Am I still a beginner?
Image 2 — Am I still a beginner?
Image 3 — Am I still a beginner?
Image 4 — Am I still a beginner?
Image 5 — Am I still a beginner?
▲ 11 r/Beginner_Art

Am I still a beginner?

I've been drawing for years now, and I'm starting to feel kind of insecure about my art. I reallly struggle with lighting and colors and my mom told me my art still looks really bad and that I should either give up on art or start working on realism and real art. Is she right? I feel like my art style and skills haven't progressed at all :(

First three are from the last 6 months, 4th is from 2 years ago (background work), the last is from 4 years ago, maybe more.

u/striderfish — 1 day ago
▲ 7 r/FtMpassing

Handwriting

But of a weird one, does my handwriting look masc at all? In a med school kind of way I mean. These are some psych notes. I get insecure about the least important things I swear 😅

u/striderfish — 2 months ago
▲ 2 r/FTMventing

I think I'm trans and now Im lost

This is mostly a late night vent so I don't know how clear this will be.

I've been ignoring and rationalizing this for a year now and I keep coming back to the same conclusion that I'm trans and I'm so unbelievably upset. I was raised in a super homophobic household and I only really opened my mind about trans people 3 years ago as not just being mentally ill.

It'll take me too long to explain the multitude of reasons I think Im trans, but I just want to express how dissapointed I am. I can't imagine a life where I grow up to be an older or middle aged woman. I can't imagine myself as a woman at all in the future, it physically makes me sick. I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm extremely academically successful and have a full ride to college next year. I have a good profession lined up for my future. So why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just settle with what I've been given and make it work? My familly will never support me, probably not even partially. I'll never be a real guy no matter how much HRT or surgery I decide to get. Why am I like this? I'm so fucking angry with myself right now why can't I stop thinking about being a guy? I don't know how to live like this and I don't know if I have the courage to try and transition just to be a little more comfortable but always know I'll never fully be what I'm supposed to be. But if I don't I'm going to have to suck it up and live like this for the rest of my life and I don't know if I can do that.

Someone please tell me it's just me being insecure about my body. Please tell me its just me being asexual and confused. Please tell me it's just internalized misogyny. I can't do this. I hate living like this. I hate every second of having to exist like this. I don't know what to do anymore.

reddit.com
u/striderfish — 2 months ago