u/superaudiodisc

I posted something yesterday complaining about my boyfriend and I noticed how a shit ton of 9+ years old accounts have dmed me asking personal questions such as “how old are you” or saying things such as “seems like your relationship is dying already”. I’m quite new on reddit and it might be that this is common and that’s just what people do on here but I find it odd that these individuals have the need to reach out to me privately instead of staying in the thread.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months already and I love him very much and we’ve been doing pretty well. However he had often made very mean and disrespectful jokes that have caused a lot of arguments. He sincerely apologised every single time after I called him out but he kept on making these type of jokes every time in some other way after. Somewhere between the first and second month he jokingly called me “chopped” and that hurt me very deeply even though it’s not the first time people have called me that (which didn’t affect me as much for some reason) and I know it’s a joke cause I’m not conventionally ugly. We’ve already talked a lot about this and he calls me pretty often but I noticed that I’ve started to feel very aware and obsessed about my looks since then and even started to feel very very insecure. I just can’t bring myself to understand how he came out of a two year long past relationship and still hasn’t learned that you can’t call your girlfriend fat or ugly even as a joke. I don’t know what to do now to feel more confident and how to approach it next time he makes a mean joke in another way, the jokes about my looks have definitely stopped but he still often makes mean comments about other things and idk what other way I need to talk with him abt it

I learned about this a view days ago and now I have a bit of an uneasy feeling because I started to realise how I’m experiencing everything etc etc. However I do have a lot of questions about this and I was wondering what I need to do/realise to apply this to my daily life so it can be affected positively by this realisation.

I’ve been feeling very depressed lately and I’m trying to develop myself and my mind because I noticed that it makes me feel way better. I started doing astanga yoga and creating art. However I’d like to discover more about myself and spirituality. Can anybody recommend me any books that could help me to know more? Thank you very much.