u/surrender2theflow39

I found out a few days ago my husband has been having a year long “emotional affair”. We have been together 10 years, married for 5, and have 2 kids together (5 and 2). It was an old friend from college that he kept in contact with (which I knew), but they started messaging regularly 2 years ago and it turned romantic/sexual a year ago. They messaged each other all day every day. They even “s e x t e d” while we were on a family vacation with our kids, my parents, and my brother/SIL. It’s so sick. To make matters worse, I’m having surgery on Thursday and will non weight bearing for 4/6 weeks so I’m going to have to rely on him. This will be my 7th surgery in 5 years. I’ve been struggling so much with my health while he’s busy with this.

Idk if this is something I can ever get over. I always told myself I would never stay in this situation. Now I feel guilty for not at least TRYING to salvage something, but I’m hoping therapy will give me some clarity one way or the other. We may even BOTH come to the realization that we aren’t right for each other. But I owe it to my kids to at least be cordial with their father so we can coparent effectively.

I just don’t know what to do with myself. My kids were gone all day yesterday with my parents, but they’re home now. Trying to act like everything is fine in front of them is so hard. I haven’t slept more than a couple hours since I found out. Barely ate. I am just SO wired with adrenaline, but I’m having trouble staying busy because I can’t concentrate.

I found out a few days ago my husband has been having a year long “emotional affair”. We have been together 10 years, married for 5, and have 2 kids together (5 and 2). It was an old friend from college that he kept in contact with (which I knew), but they started messaging regularly 2 years ago and it turned romantic/sexual a year ago. They messaged each other all day every day. Hell- they “s e x t e d” while we were on a family vacation with our kids, my parents, and my brother/SIL. It’s so sick. To make matters worse, I’m having surgery on Thursday and will non weight bearing for 4/6 weeks so I’m going to have to rely on him. This will be my 7th surgery in 5 years. I’ve been struggling so much with my health while he’s busy with this.

Idk if this is something I can ever get over. I always told myself I would never stay in this situation. Now I feel guilty for not at least TRYING to salvage something, but I’m hoping therapy will give me some clarity one way or the other. We may even BOTH come to the realization that we aren’t right for each other. But I owe it to my kids to at least be cordial with their father so we can coparent effectively.

I just don’t know what to do with myself. My kids were gone all day yesterday with my parents, but they’re home now. Trying to act like everything is fine in front of them is so hard. I haven’t slept more than a couple hours since I found out. Barely ate. I am just SO wired with adrenaline, but I’m having trouble staying busy because I can’t concentrate.

I am okay and not in any danger to myself (or him lol). I sent a message to my psychiatrist for a work in apt this week, and sent a bunch of inquiries to therapist for myself that specialize in betrayal. I just feel so devastated.

I (36F) found out a few days ago my husband (42M) has been having a year long “emotional affair”. We have been together 10 years, married for 5, and have 2 kids together (5 and 2). It was an old friend from college that he kept in contact with (which I knew), but they started messaging regularly 2 years ago and it turned romantic/sexual a year ago. They messaged each other all day every day. Hell- they “sexted” while we were on a family vacation with our kids, my parents, and my brother/SIL. It’s so sick. To make matters worse, I’m having surgery on Thursday and will non weight bearing for 4/6 weeks so I’m going to have to rely on him. This will be my 7th surgery in 5 years. I’ve been struggling so much with my health while he’s busy with this.

Idk if this is something I can ever get over. I always told myself I would never stay in this situation. Now I feel guilty for not at least TRYING to salvage something, but I’m hoping therapy will give me some clarity one way or the other. We may even BOTH come to the realization that we aren’t right for each other. But I owe it to my kids to at least be cordial with their father so we can coparent effectively.

I just don’t know what to do with myself. My kids were gone all day yesterday with my parents, but they’re home now. Trying to act like everything is fine in front of them is so hard. I haven’t slept more than a couple hours since I found out. Barely ate. I am just SO wired with adrenaline, but I’m having trouble staying busy because I can’t concentrate.

I am okay and not in any danger to myself (or him lol). I sent a message to my psychiatrist for a work in apt this week, and sent a bunch of inquiries to therapist for myself that specialize in betrayal. But I feel so devastated. Advice? Well wishes? Love? Anything?