u/swattttttyyyy

Giving Reddit a chance because why not?

I'm 30, from Chennai, a lawyer by profession but currently taken a break from it and surviving the final year of my PhD. I'm more of an introvert, especially when meeting new people, but once I'm comfortable, I can talk for hours. I love coffee, a lot of movies and series particularly horror, following politics and conversations that wander from random everyday things to bigger questions about life.

I'm here hoping to meet someone who's looking for something real and long term, starting by being friends first for a year or so then taking it from there depending on how it goes. No checklist, just someone who's self regulated and emotionally mature, and willing to put in the effort to get to know another person. If you're around 30 to 35 and from Chennai, you can message me.

I just recently broke up for good and successfully day 4 into maintaining no contact, at least am attempting to be strong in it and not break it this time from my side because we always break it. this was an exhausting and toxic relationship for both of us and after going on and off for two years, i have let him go this time, i just gave up, didn't run back like i do.

I don't even know who broke up with who, it just suddenly ended after a fight and we stopped talking and we are not reaching out, like you know when it's different and over good, it's that kind of feeling, something I am both relieved and saddened by. I don't know if I will hear from him again or come across him again, chances are low. I am happy we both will be eventually at peace but am also scared that if I ever come across him with someone else, i can't handle it and spiral in regret and guilt so that makes me sad, but at the same, my gut is saying I won't even remember all this pain and if that ever happens, seeing him with someone else or seeing him alone doing well without me, i won't feel anything inside just indifference. But the thing is, I don't know, none of it makes sense, what I truly feel about this, peace or grief, it's all a blur.