u/sweetsavannah123

I know it’s not a dumb phone truly, but this sub led me to my jelly star and I will forever be grateful! I’m about 2 weeks in and coming from an iPhone 14 -> sonim xp3 and the jelly star is going to be my daily driver for the foreseeable future. I’ve reduced my screen time from a max of 11 hrs, average 9hrs in January, down to max 1hr a day for the last month. My screen time being 11hrs while I was working two jobs was insane, so I decided to reel it in. I’ve waited in line in silence, picked up my old hobbies, gone outside more, and just overall been more present. I don’t feel completely inconvenienced with the jelly star which is nice, but the screen really is tiny enough to not engage me in scrolling. Idk, just a good vibes post!

so, i will attempt to not be long winded. tl;dr at end.

i am in my late 20’s and i have a small group of friends from college. we’ve all lived together at various points and have attempted to keep in touch over the years despite mostly all of us moving to different states and cities. as happens with adults, we don’t frequently see each other all together anymore but we try to plan yearly trips. a few have gotten married so we’ve attended their events and some have been in each others bridal parties etc. so not suuuuuper close but also not distant either. some girls talk with eachother everyday but as a group, we chat occasionally.

we are all in long term committed relationships. as of last year, one girl (let’s call her Cece), had just gotten into her first relationship. we were all super excited for her and excited to have another person join the group as the guys all get along pretty well too.

well, separately, for one of the other girls bachelorettes she flaked last minute with what was received by the bride as a sorta half assed excuse. for another friends bachelorette out of the country, she was in the bridal party but flaked on the main activity that she had planned and stayed in her hotel room. she made the bachelorette party about herself too, being standoffish to the group and getting involved with the brides guy best friend which overlapped with her current guy, as they were exclusive but not official. i let her over coffee after the trip that the bride was a little hurt by her absence and to just give her the heads up in case she genuinely didn’t realize how rude it was being perceived as.

but here’s the weird part: she treated the group like we were her social media following (not friends of 7+ years) and refused to give us any real info about him. it took weeks to get a name, one girl dug through her following to make a guess, and even then his profile was private so still no idea of anything about him. we had a heart to heart about relationships on the trip as i also was a late bloomer relationships wise and i found out through that convo that they’re long distance and he actually lives in my town. she mentioned visiting when she was in town and i offered double dates/hanging out as id love to meet him!

well, she came down to visit at least 4 times and didn’t mention she was in town at all until the last time, where she offered super last minute plans that were obviously meant to not actually happen. on one visit, she screenshot find my friends to show she was two cities over near another group member and cropped me out, even though i was closer 🙃. she would only show the group no face no case pictures, but eventually confided in at least one other girl and let her in on the info. i only found this out when an inside joke was cracked in the chat but i was the only one who was confused.

she referred to her hometown friends as her “actual friends” in an in person convo with me and still wouldn’t let up much info, so i dropped it and figured our friendship wasn’t as close as i thought it once was. well, now she’s messaged me somewhat randomly to let me know she “realized she hadn’t updated me” that she’s moving to the city i’m in. yay? now she can shut me out from even closer i guess?? lol

i don’t really know what to think of any of this so i’ve landed on just replying “omg hey neighbor!! you’ll love it here” and calling it a day

idk this is mostly a rant but i feel like for how open our group usually is with each other this whole thing is just weird and annoying. i have no idea why she’s acting like this either.

there’s a few more points to this too but it’s already long so that’s the jist lol

idk

tl:dr :::: once close friend of many years no-face-no-cased her bf to the friend group. told some/the rest of the friend group about the relationship and i still don’t know anything about him/them. she seems to have been cutting me out. but now, she randomly texted me they’re moving in together to the city im in.

maybe this level of privacy is normal now idk??