u/syvzx

Online women always talk a big game of "women don't need or want men anymore, we're all happy single and live happy and fulfilling lives by focusing on our friends and hobbies and families and careers and ourselves" and yadda yadda. To the point where you feel almost guilty if you say you want some romance in your life, even just casually or just a bit of male attention, because then you're a pathetic male-centered pick me who needs therapy and learn to be alone (I've been alone basically my entire life btw).

But then why do the women I see constantly date, flirt? Why is it that the vast majority of women I see online and especially irl are currently dating, engaged, married, ... ? Where do they have all their horror dating app stories from if apparently they don't bother dating in the first place? I can't go anywhere without women talking about "my bf/faince/husband this and that...." like, ??? I thought we were all happily single here, so why can I not escape the talk of romance and dating?

The fact that I DO genuinely try to be happy alone and these women make it sound so easy but then I go anywhere and don't see any other happy, single women? I'm still bombarbed with dating and romance EVERYWHERE. ESPECIALLY in female spaces and yes, your negative stories about dating and bfs also count ffs. I can't go into any female space without them talking about men 90% of the time, which I find very ironic.

In that vein, I hate how it's seen as worse to simply desire some male attention than it is to actively date. You get scolded for the former (which is simply a more "passive" desire) but not for the latter (the active doing). I find that weird. Actively spending your time, money, energy, ressources to hang out on dating apps and go on dates is fine but you mention you want some male attention or to be flirted with every now and then and you get treated like the devil and shamed. No desire of any kind is accepted and if it's just the grieving acceptance that you can never have romance anyways. Apparently all these women actively dating don't actually desire romance and sex but do so anyways just...because? Atp all the narratives around romance and dating in women's spaces just feels so damn performative from the perspective of a woman who has actually been alone for basically my whole life.

On a side note, I went out again yesterday with a group of people incl. a female friend and she got hit on and started making out and flirting heavily with a guy. She very clearly enjoyed the male attention. I feel like all this "we all hate men and male attention" thing is so damn chronically online because I have yet to go out with a woman who didn't find it fun to flirt with men or was so terribly offended by a guy chatting her up.

Tl;dr: Women talk as if not dating is the unquestionable superior option and you gain nothing from it, yet most women still seem to date.

/edit: And in a VERY similar vein, it's the same for not being attractive. Being a woman is so much about being attractive in our culture and society (if you think about it pop culture aimed at women is almost ALWAYS about being hot [usually specifically being attractive to men] or aimed at attractive women), yet when you lament being unattractive they suddenly act like women don't actually care about being attractive (despite the billion dollar beauty industry) and you're the weird one for caring etc.

What they preach and what they do just NEVER matches.

/edit2: Oh and anyone else caught wind of the relatively recent drama of one of those influencers who CONSTANTLY told women to not date, marry etc. and stay single only to end up getting married herself? Lmfao

I've just been thinking about all the people in my life and roughly trying to categorise them into those who I also see struggling a lot, those who are treated worse and generally more likely to be seen as "losers" vs the succesful and "cool" ones and I do notice a pattern that the former generally tends to be more unattractive while the latter tends to me more attractive.

I think people really underestimate how much your looks shape your entire life and how much being ugly can snowball (e.g. if you're ugly you get treated worse, you're more likely to develop issues, get less support, you'll do worse in school, then you'll be seen as less competent, your social skills will suffer, you'll get a worse job, ....)

Isn't it funny how most of the time when someone posts a video of a conventionally attractive woman here calling her attractive there's always men just yapping on about how she's actually not pretty and go on about her flaws that no regualr person would care about ("negative canthal tilt" level nitpicking), like...is it a weird power thing or smth?

Then the nexr second people'll go "you just need to be skinny to be considered attractive as a women". Which is it?

Anytime a guy has been nasty to me lately, it's been some ugly MFer. Always some nerdy (not the cute kind) guy with glasses, not a good build or face, nothing going for him.

One was yelling about how he thought I was so much older than I looked blah blah after someone else was nice enough to say I looked younger (common courtesy, I guess). And he wasn't subtle about it, no, he really had to rub it in.

The other one had the audacity to go "you're just mid, that's why I appraoched you" like bro, are you for fucking real? It's so obvious he was trying to lower my self-esteem (joke's on him, it can't get much lower). And mind you, I may not be pretty, but I was definitely not ugly on this guy's level. He was so ugly even my guy friend who was with me called him ugly and told me to just get away from him. The most chopped men in existence still think they deserve a woman better-looking than them.

I hate the audacity of ugly men so fucking much.