I won't go into much detail, but I hear stories of other people having bleeding, swelling, bruising, etc. And sometimes I feel I just didn't have enough of those and it's hard to grapple with. It makes me feel like a liar. I was just wondering if anybody else has this sort of doubt.
I've been hypersexual as long as I can remember, and something I've done persistently since my teens is find people (mostly men) to sext to fill the void, but it never does anything for me. I always think that it'll make me feel less empty but I wind up bored after 5 minutes. And it's annoying because I'll actively spend time seeking those sorts of relationships out, then abandon ship because I'm not feeling what I'm supposed to.
Obviously I do it as a way to get easy validation, but I've found that I only really care about that when the person knows who I am. And knowing that those sorts of people who sext strangers do it to a hundred others makes the numbness get worse. Because I'm really not anything special to them, nor are they to me. I was wondering if anyone else has this problem. I only see talk of physical IRL sex in relation to BPD impulsivity.
Hey everyone, this memory randomly came back to me after searching on and off for years for both the original YouTube video I saw, and the possible source of it. In 2020 there was a trend on YouTube where if you looked up Asuba Bawana, there would be disturbing videos and playlists containing such. I found one video which looked to be from some sort of east asian found footage horror movie and it really stuck with me.
It was a little long, but I think somewhere in the middle there was a scene of a girl in the dark woods seemingly possessed and seizing on the ground. Beforehand she's screaming and rolling around in the dirt and I remember it was all over her knees. Then there's the cut to a closeup of her face with her eyes rolled back and twitching. and she's slumped how a body would be. It was pretty creepy and I'd love to find the source of this! I doubt the YouTube video is still available, since I tried deep searching my history and couldn't find it. Does this sound familiar to any sort of found footage project or horror movie? Thanks.