Dear women, please do not use Sharia only when it suits you

Dear women, please do not use Sharia only when it suits you

I'm noticing an alarming tendency among Muslim women specifically in Pakistan that they've had half or incomplete exposure to true Sharia (thanks to one-sided tiktok or instagram content), and have developed opinions that are entirely un-Islamic and detached from dictates of taqwa.

For starters, a "rights-based" discourse is antithetical to Islamic adab anyhow. Fiqh is not a joke to be flung around, otherwise you are guilty of doing the same thing you blame our older generations (or men) of doing -- that they are using religion for their own ego only.

If you're truly sincere in your practice of deen, start with clarifying the intention:

The goal of studying fiqh is not to find rukhsa for yourself but to find the commandments of God, and whether you like them or not, to accept them and humble yourself before Allah's wisdom because He knows and we don't.

Once you set that intention, you will quickly notice the contradictions with the Muslim feminist narrative. For example:

It is the husband's right whether he allows his wife to work or not (unless agreed upon in advance but caveats there too), just as it is the wife's right that she be provided for to the best of the husband's ability.

It is the husband's right to take multiple wives, just as it is the wife's right to dissolve the marriage in that case (with prior agreement -- although apart from Hanbali school, all schools consider this an invalid condition since it prohibits something otherwise lawful).

It is the husband's right that he be obeyed ... and this is the smoking gun for a lot of women these days, partly because it has been misused by men of older generations and partly because women don't understand what "obedience" here actually means.

Regardless, I hope you can see that a "rights-centric" discourse produces nothing but defensiveness from both sides.

And that is how it is by design because these "boundaries" were designed for extreme cases. You are not supposed to lead with them. These come into effect when there are divorce proceedings or when the marriage has gone so far off the rails that there's no hope for a reasonable dialogue.

When you lead with a "me me me" dialogue, I'm sorry but it's not taqwa at the very least. Imagine if a man were to approach you and start with "How many times will we have sex in a week?". You'd call him a creep and move on. I feel the same about women who start by "I will require a completely separate accommodation and husband should provide everything it is my Islamic right!!". I get that. It is your right, but you're overstating your right vs the luxury that I will willingly provide. On a basis of pure "rights", a separate private quarter where no other family member can enter without permission and which has its bathroom fulfils the obligation but ofc you wouldn't want that.

All of this is to say that ...

Lead with ihsan, not fiqh.

You can ascertain someone's knowledge of fiqh by inquiring about what they believe are the rights of the spouses. If they have correct knowledge, then move on to assessing character and other things. Instead of getting hung up on "how dare you minimize my rights" ... you can do that, but then don't complain that you can't find good men because you ended up repelling all of them.

If you treat your prospective husband like an ATM, don't be surprised when they may treat you like a sex object.

Fiqh is the boundary, not the centre.

Start by what is good and just. Lead the conversation with ihsan and in due course set your boundaries. That is the proper adab of dealing in Sharia. Otherwise, you are exhibiting traits of the munafiqeen.

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P.S I would really appreciate if you don't try to make assumptions about what I want or can provide. It is another bad habit I'm noticing with women is that whenever a man even slightly disagrees with them, they resort to name-calling and slander. Know the punishment of slander in Islam and hold back your words. If you are curious about what my personal position is, just ask instead of assuming.

u/tharsalys — 6 days ago

Is it possible to be alt and be religious?

I have a weird problem.

I grew up as a Muslim, and when internet happened to me back in 2012, one of the first crushes I developed was a German alt girl. She introduced me to In Flames and I went down a rabbit hole.

I was 14 at the time and it was like a whole world opening up to me. In parallel, I was doing aitekaaf and going with the tableeghi jamaat lol. Khair, around the time when I was 16, after much study of philosophy and debates and literature and whatnot, I decided to apostatize and became an atheist.

Then I remained an atheist up until 2022, when a series of "events" led to a spiritual reawakening. But in this time, I had been thoroughly "alt-pilled".

I never dressed up as such mainly because back then ... you couldn't even find this stuff in Pakistan lol. I had to make do with just dressing in black and making my entire wardrobe black. But all of my tastes -- in media or political -- were very much alt.

By the end of 2022, I reverted to Islam once more (looong story) and by 2024, after exposure to authentic sufism (i.e., Al Ghazali) I have become what many would consider "extra religious" or overly religious -- I perform tahajjud and have a strict schedule of ascetic practices.

What I find funny is that being a "weirdo" like I used to be was just as alienating as being "extra religious" is. I have never felt more like an outsider, I think that's an experience that everyone who learns the religion outside of the cultural norms goes through. You realize just how ... rare true religiosity is.

I know alt has a deep history with religion. It's a response to organized religion in many ways but it also sort of expresses a kind of longing for religion at the same time (with all its quasi-religious symbolism in crosses and whatnot). What I'm curious about is:

  1. Could there be something like an "Islamic alt"? with Islamic symbolism ... a meme from 2016 comes to mind "emo goth hijabis from karachi" (iykyk)
  2. How philosophically compatible is alt with being truly religious (not in the cultural religious sense where religion is a crutch for the ego and social status)?

I don't know the answer to 1. For 2, I have a lot of thoughts. The long and short of it: I've never felt more like an outsider than I do now.

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u/tharsalys — 7 days ago

Why Do Muslims Suck At Technology

Assalamu Alaykum.

I just launched my YouTube channel dedicated to figuring out a civilizational framework for technology from the Muslim world. My first video is a bit controversial but I wanted to lay out all of the questions that I want to get to the root of.

I'm a serial entrepreneur with multiple ventures under my belt. I've personally run into the limits of building out from Pakistan and come to the conclusion that the limits are entirely "internal" but not in the self-discipline sense. The video lays out the rest. My hope is to spark a conversation around the questions at the end.

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u/tharsalys — 9 days ago

Reminder: Don't let your parents pick any calls from the bank

My mother got a call from a dude impersonating as a bank rep and she almost fell for it. I was able to intervene because I overheard.

So now I've made a simple rule:

No official -- be it banks, govt, police, even judiciary -- would ever call you. And if they do, you can cancel it and they can still get the job done.

So instead of letting my boomer parents do the mental gymnastics of figuring out which call is legit and which one is not, I've just told them to cancel all such calls. Nothing will happen.

Problem with telling them technicalities like "if anybody asks for your account pin, don't give it" is that there ARE in fact cases where bank reps will ask you to enter your pin via automated steps. And scammers have set up those too now. Anything the bank does, eventually scammers will catch up. So don't let your aging parents worry about these technicalities. Just make a hard rule to cancel all calls from all officials, even if there is an active inquiry going on. Do correspondence via email or in-person only.

Hope this helps.

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u/tharsalys — 1 month ago

Best way to cash large amounts of crypto in Pakistan?

I have a large amount of crypto USDT stored in Binance (from projects and consulting etc). I need to somehow bring it to Pakistan without getting hammered by taxes and FBR getting on me ass.

I have a company registered in Dubai. My current, naive, thinking is to somehow cash the crypto in Dubai using P2P in AED and then receive the PKR as remittance from the Dubai entity. But the P2P rates are bad. And I don't know if this is even the correct way.

Has anyone done this before? Any tips?

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u/tharsalys — 1 month ago

Some advice for fresh graduates (a.k.a don't do full-stack engineering)

Not sure how many of you guys are following me on Linkedin (I know some are) but I've been preaching about the problems with "Full-Stack Engineering" as a "specialization" for years (tl;dr it is not a specialization), and now with AI, the final nail in the coffin has been hammered.

But given that the Pakistani tech industry has been a glorified HR industry instead (i.e., outsourcing labor, rather than tech), and the easiest thing to outsource was whatever attracted most Upwork proposals ("You can build a whole app yourself? Seriously?? wow"), a lot of fresh graduates or current students are confused about which direction to take.

On the one hand, AI does full-stack better than you. On the other, our local industry has no vacancies apart from full-stack and now they have no vacancies left.

Tough situation.

In order to know which skill-sets are worth investing in, we need to have a hypothesis on two things:

  1. Where the global tech industry is going
  2. Which parts of the "tech food chain" will trickle down to us in Pakistan

If you're super talented, I recommend ignoring no. 2 altogether and just building on 1. If you're less talented (or hard-working), have both hypotheses and balance them.

Here are some of my hypotheses:

Global trends:

- Inference optimization is here to stay because compute, from this point onward, will always be a constraint. Think kernel optimizations, with each architecture/model combo posing its own challenges. A lot of it can be agentified but it still requires a high knowledge ceiling since specific hardware knowledge is involved.

- NPU or other specialized chips will require specialized talent. Practically, every company running on an NPU cloud needs maintainers for torch-npu or similar libs. So you have an open-source entry here too.

- China's GPU (or general compute) market will continue to keep coming up and their software will keep on lagging. Right now, only Huawei itself has people who can program its own GPUs in their CANN framework lol. Because half the material is in Chinese. But they are actively expanding their reach by building partnerships in Southeast Asia (including Pak) and investing in trainings. Keep an eye on the Huawei ecosystem.

- Actual AI Engineering will remain in demand. More efficient model architectures are always needed. If you can only slap a couple APIs together and call yourself an AI Engineer then ... tough luck.

- Data. Anything to do with data. The world is running out of data. I don't even know where to begin laying out all the possible career paths in data but .. don't limit yourself to "data science" cuz there is no science to be performed when the data doesn't exist lol. Think where to get data from, how to generate more of it (roughly falls under data warehousing of old times but with a focus on capturing more data rather than storing what's already there). Every industry will need its own specialists.

Now, for the local market and where we can fit in the food chain:

- In the short term, expect a SaaS boom but don't let it fool you. Every software house will half-ass a SaaS in the next couple years. Most will fail and shut down. They will demand full-stack engineers but .. don't. Don't fall for it.

- Any company working in the data space, whether in collection or analysis or collation or whatever, keep an eye on that. Uplift AI, Miras AI etc are good examples. But we can go lower down the stack still (have yet to see companies pop up here but will soon).

- Expect a data center boom so cloud engineering (not building on TOP of cloud, but ... actually building the cloud) will have some pull. The complicating factor though is that currently all Paki data centers are basically white-labeling Huawei or Alibaba cloud. But it's still worth getting those certifications if only to get entry into the wrappers.

- Cyber Security. I know CyberSec has had a long dry spell in Pak for years, but I'm hoping there will be a resurgence if only because of the fact that every nation will not need its own sovereign AI and all of them will f*ck up and will need specialists and Pak is well-positioned to supplant this gap.

- Defense tech is about to have its heyday. If you're in NUST or Air, stick to defense and don't fall for a higher salary elsewhere (unless you can work directly for Lockheed Martin .. brother why?).

Aaand .. yea that's all I can think of top of me head. It's not comprehensive, there's probably 50 directions I'm missing rn but do check out my substack or Linkedin because I plan on re-launching my forum dedicated to Paki tech services sector but now not limited to services because I'm tired of our entrepreneurs thinking "product vs service" is a business model question instead of a delivery model one but I digress.

Hope this sparks a discussion. Times are hard and they are going to get harder still. You're going to be shitting your pants anyhow, might as well shit them with a guarantee that one day you will be able to clean yourself.

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u/tharsalys — 2 months ago