u/thegingerbarbiedoll

I dont know who needs to hear this but people who aren't trans keep misunderstanding bigender as being two people.

Would you say a bisexual person is two people one gay one straight? Of course not

This is actually very harmful as its associating queer gender or sexuality as synonymous with mental illness, something heavily pushed as a hateful ideology by bigots and phobes. Don't give them an inch.

We're normal human variation. Not confused or mentally ill, by token of being bigender.

We have been recognised and recorded for literal centuries.

Some people are queer. It's normal.

Edit: thanks for being nice. Because Im intersex I already have to dilate my vagina for life though and experience issues with intimacy sometimes. I definitely dont think vaginoplasty is a walk in the park but phallo is definitely the most complicated and multi step bottom surgery Im aware of. Its more like, vaginoplasty is extremely brutal and phalloplasty is extremely brutal with more stages. One is a shorter journey, by stages/procedure. I dont know if Ill be able to afford to but if I can Ill probably just accept the complication additional surgeries just to match my body map. (no vaginectomy, UL with phalloplasty/glansplasty)

Just really struggle with this. Most of my dysphoria is the numbing disconnect type, but my genital dysphoria is the stereotypical loud overt kind.

I was definitely being pessimistic though, I was venting and not stating pure facts so I do apologise for how I worded some things.

Again though, I appreciate the kindness very much 🩷

OP:

Im bigender. I know being AMAB would not make my man identity more "valid" so this is not an internal transphobic post

Rather.. my configuration would be a fully functional penis including urine ability, and a vagina

As a AFAB I can never ever have this because UL in phalloplasty is refused due to 100% complications rate if you preserve the vagina

If I was AMAB Id literally be able to have a vaginoplasty and be perfectly aligned with my brains body map

But because of the way I was born, this will never happen.

I just feel really down about this

Ive seen a lot here who dress androgynously, displaying both their genders at the same time

I get dysphoric if I do that, so I display my genders seperately. I dont have two names but I do use any pronouns any time and I have two voices I use depending how Im dressed

My internal gender is always both simultaneously

I just vary how I present

My partner struggled for a few months when I came out, but as his support and understanding grew there were funny moments.

​

One in particular that should get a chuckle out of some of you:

​

I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink and he was standing at the doorway. We had some diy plans for the garden, he was going to teach me to use power tools (its shallow Ik but its gender affirming to me I wasnt allowed to do things my family labelled "manly" growing up)

​

It was quite sunny and warm. So he casually said

​

"...and its sunny so you wont need to wear a top."

​

Then I turned around to dry my hands

​

"oh" (AFAB and have boobs lol, very large ones might I add)

​

There were a few funny moments like this. At first his brain model of me skewed too far the other way and he started to see me too much of a man as opposed to the bigender 50-50 thing

​

He gets it now pretty darn well but this moment always makes me laugh when I think of it lol

​

Happy pride hope I made someone smile lol 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Im both intersex and bigender, and I feel like being intersex contributed heavily to being bigender

​

Obviously non intersex bigender folks are equally valid (and thats partly why Im here, to hear different stories)

​

But Im curious if theres any intersex people here too :)

With NHS rise in transphobic culture & simultaneous crazy waiting times I will not be going NHS route.

​

So how are people getting phallo? Are they just.. really rich?