u/thejennachu

hi! i’m 22 years old and just started my figure skating journey about a week ago

i have new jackson mystique skates, gloves, knee pads, soakers, hard guards, a towel, and a designated bag for my skates

my schedule is (not including my full time job)…

Mon: flexibility and strengthening yoga
Tues: on ice practice
Wed: rest day
Thurs: light stretching and learn to skate class
Fri: work out
Sat: rest day
Sun: on ice practice

i’ve only been on the ice 3 times including my class and i’m still trying to get used to skating and find my balance

any advice or any items, videos, accessories, classes, etc. that have helped you on your journey

thank you!

hello, nice to meet you all :) apologies if this is not the right subreddit

for some backstory:

Me (22F) and my ex girlfriend (20F) dated for 2.5 years before she broke up with me a couple weeks ago due to her poor mental health (depression, suicidal ideations, etc.) we both really love each other, have feelings, care for each other, and want to have a future together, but she had stated she cannot be in a relationship right now due to her mental

health issues

she said that getting back together with me is very high up on her priority list and that she wants to be a better partner for me, but first and foremost she has to find happiness for herself and live for herself

we both really want to be together in the future but we agreed we cannot guarantee anything as she’s unsure of her healing timeline and doesn’t want to drag me along or promise anything with the future since she can’t even see a future for herself at this moment.

we have a cat together and are on a lease in our apartment until August 20th so we are obviously still living together (at least until then, we are unsure about in the future due to our situation)

it has been weird, i’ve been doing my best to support her (i’ve been taking on the brunt of the housework and cooking to alleviate her and checking up on her) and also giving her space she needs.

i’ve been getting more into my hobbies and creating my own routines to not get so wrapped up in our situation (i’ve been doing yoga, gardening, reading, making more friends, etc.) but this is something that still weighs very heavily on me as i really love her and want the best for her and it hurts to be broken up and to see her struggle like this.

her plan she told me when we broke up was that she wanted to see a psychiatrist and to get on medication to help her depression and that she knew she needed help and she didn’t want to be miserable anymore; she was just waiting for her tax return to hit to make sure she had the extra money to do so.

since then, i had brought up her plan to see a doctor a couple times, and i even looked through her insurance to find some well reviewed psychiatrists that she could see and sent them to her to alleviate the stress of having to see a new doctor and she was very appreciative of that.

She finally got that money recently so i asked her if she had made an appointment yet and she said no and we ended up in a serious conversation about her seeing a doctor which didn’t go awful, but not super well either.

she had brushed off a lot of what i said and pretty much had this pessimistic attitude about it saying things like she doesn’t have the motivation and that it probably won’t work anyways and that she knew she needed help but she’s familiar with being miserable since she’s been struggling with this for so long.

I validated her emotions but was firm with her and said that this was something she really needed and that she can’t distract herself from this forever and she deserves to be happy.

it just seems like such a 180 because she had stated that she had wanted to go and see a doctor for this but now she’s making it seem like such a silly idea.

i told her i can’t force her to do anything and told her to just think about what i said and we said she would and we haven’t spoken since.

i really do love this girl, she’s my soulmate and it hurts to see her struggle like this.

i don’t want to pressure her or feel like i’m doing too much but i want to do my best to support her and care for her because i know how debilitating depression can be (i’ve struggled with it before) but i also don’t want to be hurt or to hurt myself in the process.

i want to push her to do what she needs to do but i don’t want to pressure her or make her shut down.

just needing some advice; if there’s anything i can do better or anything i can do more or less of

or just any similar stories

thank you!